I don't know how long this will last. I don't know if this is a permanent life change, though I do want it to be. But here are the results after a few weeks:
Testosterone: through the fucking roof
Confidence: at an all time high
Self respect: highest it has ever been
Bedroom performance: also really high
How did I achieve this? I will tell you right now, religious fundamentalism, aggressive prayer and fighting my desires was NOT the way. If beating yourself over the head with a Bible or whatever religious text you prefer helps you to walk the straight and narrow, fine. Far be it from me to criticize if that is what you want for yourself. It simply did not work for me. I lived a lot of my life as a pious pretender. When I stopped caring so much and just lived as an honest degenerate, life began to change for the better. I am considerably less insecure these days. I don't live in fear of something because someone said so in a book. I don't choose this out of obligation. I choose it because I want it.
I decided a few years ago to just follow Christ. I acknowledge the additional context, but following His example, loving your enemies treating others the way you want to be treated, loving my neighbors, all the golden rule stuff, that I placed above EVERYTHING else. And the results... speak for themselves.
Faith is a personal journey. Religious fundamentalists have failed to understand this because they think because they found the answers for themselves that they magically have all the answers for everyone else. You do not. Jesus is the authority. And while I am likely to consider the ideas of those Christians who actually have sold their possessions and picked up their cross, they too are still just mortal flawed men.
The dangers of porn are very real, but not impossible to overcome. Shaming people will not help. In fact, if anything humans have a tendency to over indulge when being shamed. Who are you to tell me or anyone for that matter how they need to live their life? Exactly. If Jesus comes back tomorrow, we'll figure out the rest from there. Though a lot of you are gonna be pissed when he starts forgiving people you thought FOR SURE were going to hell. Aside from the pedo elites, no one is worthy of damnation. If anything, you are for thinking someone else was for daring to live their lives as they saw fit. The only aggressors that deserve punishment are those who violate consent and that includes spiritual consent. If someone does not want to hear you, you don't get to force your opinion on them just because you think you are right. Consent is the only real rule and ultimate morality in this life. And just because you choose to consent to additional rules does not mean you are better than those of us who do not.
And that's how I made this happen. I found my own way. And that's what you, a struggling porn addict need to understand. If the shame tactics and accountabilibuddy systems aren't working, then you need to find something else. Overindulgence may be your salvation as it was mine. And no... I didn't get desensitized to sex. It doesn't work that way at least for me.
Good luck and don't feel bad if you fail. You're only human.
QFT. Shame is the fuel of the addiction cycle. The Lord overcame shame so that we need not punish ourselves with it anymore. Don't waste this gift.
Walking in self-honesty allows a personal relationship with Christ. "Pious pretenders," listen up, this guy's onto something.
Congrats, fren.
I stopped as well. I felt it is/was a sin of course but that wasn't enough. I started to think about the "performers" and how they were selling their dignity and perhaps even a bit of their souls so I could whack off. The look on their faces when they let the acting slip is enough to let you know most of these people don't want to be doing this. It's far from a victimless crime. If everyone stopped watching no one would be paying these people to do this.
I wish it were that simple. And I think there's a lot of exploitation and horribleness to it that needs to be done away with.
However... if human trafficking is obliterated tomorrow and all the porn evaporates, fine. No complaints from me. My study of human behavior and history tells me as long as men and women desire boobs, there will always be a sex trade. Some of the people involved DO like that work, but I agree it would probably be much less if ethics laws were enacted and the exploitation factor reduced. If people want to sell their bodies, it's their choice. If we ban porn, we'll create an even worse black market than the one we have now.
In the world before Internet porn was readily available, people purchased or rented VHS tapes and DVDs.
As a kid, I remember finding porno magazines dumped in the woods on more than one occasion.
The main difference is people would be forced to pay for it, and this would reduce both availability and frequency of use for many.
They dumped porn in the woods on purpose for kids to find
In fact, they had a wank session in the woods and hid the evidence from their girlfriends/wives.
Used to be shameful behavior and men who knew better kept it out of their homes.
And that's the problem: shame breeds rebellion. Especially weaponized shame. All it does is prevent people from trying to act truthfully.
I learned more from sin by partaking and experiencing it than I ever did from assuming someone else's experience to be correct.
The truth is most people hide behind their religion as a means to try and control others and when others don't go along, they lash out.
Knowingly doing wrong in the darkness turns into shame when exposed to the light.
Totally agree it's not going to stop. I was speaking in a perfect-case scenario type of world. If enough people just trying to be better humans stopped consuming this media it would lose market share and become more niche. I agree banning it won't work and the world's governments would not do that anyway. It's almost as if there is a satanic cabal running the world.
Well... Even still people have to choose righteousness because it's what they want for themselves not because the society wants it. The second religion becomes tyrannical it needs to be declawed like the cabal. The reason people rebelled is because they were robbed of their choice. Did Jesus ever force His ideology on anyone? No. People came to Him. He commands us to to love our enemies, treat others the way we want to be treated and to not judge least ye be judged. Ergo we need to respect and uphold people's right to choose their lives for themselves.
This is why America has the 1A and not any religious text as the law of the land.
There are many though who have never even heard about God or who Jesus is and what He did for us. It is our job to tell them.
What got me to stop was hearing some of the actors are actually trafficked and not doing it on their own will or secretly under age. That was it for me, I couldnt bare to be a part of the evil's sickness.
Those will be some of Camp Yesu’s future campers/residents. We will save them from that in Jesus name and teach them a much better way of life in Jesus.
Yes, many forget there is only one thing that God is not ok with, being forsaken. God is so merciful and forgiving, more than us. That is why we must pray for them to find Jesus and to grow closer to God and let God's will be done.
I have a family member in the industry and I pray for her to break free from the chains.
Glad to hear you are doing better. And thanks for these insights, it kinda throws light on some of the bitterness you have had about religion. I am glad you realise that religion and faith is a personal journey, and everyone has their own, and we are not the ones to judge anyone else, their journies.
Amen.
I have many family members and a few friends who have either rejected God or walked away after years of claiming Jesus as their savior because it was crammed down their throats with that ugly Spirit of religion. Religion and Faith are pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum. I pray regularly for these people.
That's all you can do. Pray and love them. And who knows, maybe they need perspective.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
I recall Fr John at St Sophia in LA once closing his sermon with the admonition not to attempt the acts depicted in porn, as those people are professionals and you will injure yourself trying. It was very funny. Because it’s true.
The orthodox view of “sin” is a bit different from what many others believe. Serve God or serve yourself. The particulars are incidental. They say sin is “missing the mark.” As in; archers don’t get bullseyes pointing 180 degrees from the target.
Nobody is landing every shot, we’re wired to serve ourselves, and most often are blithely unaware of it. That’s why we need Jesus. He killed death for us, if we only have faith. Faith that God loves us enough to live humbly as one of us, die ignominiously as one of us, and to trick the devil, resurrect to free us from Hell, if we’ll only drop what we’re doing and follow Him. If you get separated He’ll wade into the brambles to bring you back. That’s been my experience, and I’m decidedly unworthy, so your results will exceed mine. If you see me in the sheepfold, wave hello. I’m the most raggedy burr covered one with all the scratches from brambles, and the big smile. But I’m there by grace and mercy. If He gave it to me he can’t possibly deny you. I say the Jesus Prayer. As often as I can. Like when I have thoughts, I lapse into it. Or start playing a song in my head, the same. It changed my life and led me to church, and catechism, and salvation. It picked me up and moved me to it’s source. I had no idea it’s at the heart of orthodoxy, I didn’t even know orthodoxy existed. Never liked TV preachers or revival tent show carneys. That’s what I thought it all was. Then I saw a documentary about monasteries all over the world chant this prayer all day every day. I didn’t know they were orthodox monasteries. Thought it was all “Catholic” so I tried to join the Roman church but I didn’t qualify in my present condition. I only thought I was married, but was living in sin, and would need to abstain from sex with my wife for a year first. Then if we both joined we could be married in the church and be intimate. Because sex is some big “original sin” no no. The wife wouldn’t have accepted that, I didn’t even ask her. Then into my head popped the idea “Wonder what the Greek Orthodox position on divorce etc might be.” So I decided to check it out. I found my spiritual home. May everyone have such a blessing in their own way.
“Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me a sinner.” Millions are praying that all over the earth. I feel that when I join in I’m among them all. It’s powerfully evocative. Like the prayer is an ongoing perpetual jam, and you get to sit in with the masters. What a privilege. I’m unworthy, but there I am, jamming along.
You can say Lord Have Mercy on (someone’s name) and drop the sinner bit. I’ve got a list, and that’s good too.
It’s called Hesychasm I later learned. Look it up. Its only kinda old, but it’s legit. It’s gotten me through lots of rough spots, and helps me keep steady to help others while around me there’s utter chaos.
Sorry to ramble on, but I’m only saying this stuff because it worked for me, before I ever set foot in a church and I know it’ll work for anybody. Not to look like I’m some phony mystic or something. It’s not about me, it’s about the prayer. Try it. Miracles will start to happen around you. It’ll pick you up and move you if you’re sincere. Kyrie Eleison
Again apologize for ranting, but it’s kinda part of the deal iykwim. It’s only a treasure if you give it away. Not a false word in it either. Jesus is real (ity)
I can second the effectiveness of the Jesus prayer. It made ALL the difference in my relationship with Jesus, bringing him from a nice idea in my head to a constant connection with him. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us
easypeasy method
Skimmed a little bit. Looks very promising and something I could probably agree with.
I stopped a while back. I don't miss it one bit.
It's like smoking. I felt like a slave.
But as I said, everyone has gotta find their own.
OK, but this does sound like a harsh criticism of the same people who keep the path free of brambles. Without their keeping the way signposted would you have been able to walk the path at all? Everyone has their role to play, including those who look from some perspectives to be fundamentalists. I appreciate the fire and brimstone types, although like you I choose a milder expression for myself, I see them as torch-bearers keeping options open for more than just those who directly follow particular dogma. That said, well done and away you go.
I agree that everyone should be free to choose their own path, if you agree with that I have no problem with people preaching fundamentalist dogma in the marketplace of ideas. Some will choose that. (you said as much so don't take this as any sort of attack)
Good point and well said.
WWG1WGA
Watching people having sex is as appealing as watching people taking a dump. I don't get the porn thing at all. Glad you beat it because it's seriously gross.
We still have to love the ones who partake in whatever facet...
The power of the Holy Spirit led you to do this. God is drawing you to Jesus but Satan is doing his best to hold you back. Walk away from the computer if you have to. You might be able to set some parental controls on it and lose the password to bypass it. Porn will rot your brain and destroy you mentally. Praise God it makes you feel guilty for looking at it. The Holy Spirit is working in your life!
My old wife gives the puss maybe once per year, so internet porn is all I get now.
Dare I say maybe it's the greazycheeks?
That was funny
If you gave up the porn, your testosterone would build up to the point she may give it up more than once a year, perhaps.
There would like be some correlation.
Regardless, best wishes.
I'm not here to judge you or your wife. You gotta do what you feel you gotta do.
I think you are discovering the truth of this verse:
2 Corinthians 4:6 (AMP) And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit.
The key is that as we behold the glory of Christ (every facet of his glory, his work on the cross, his grace and mercy, and the full extent of our forgiveness) we are transformed by the Spirit.
It doesn't come from focusing on ourselves, or our failures - that is depressing - but focusing on Jesus is uplifting and transformative.
I wish I had learned this truth 30 years ago, rather than just a few. When family notice a change, it's clear something is changing without really being aware of it.
Those who produce this filth have the greater guilt. Recovery is always a very personal journey. Thanks for sharing. I also understand your criticism of bible thumpers. However I believe the bible is the greatest book ever. Our daily reprieve depends on our spiritual condition daily.
Now instead of porn. Do pushups and get jacked! Lol
Good work fren. If people would really listen when you mention the positive impacts of quitting porn, or realize the amount of human trafficking in porn (this is what did it for me) they would at least try.
Awesome you figured out how. I have for the most part but still succumb to it occasionally. Everyone has to find their way out.
And... that just may be the standard for you. I would say, take pride in the control you have attained and not to worry about the rest. It will come when it does... if it even needs to.
You no spanky spanky. You for good.
Wonderful, dear fren. Well done!
Here is a bit of background to it - the vid got 10 million views and 97k likes 9 years ago - only 3 minutes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ya67aLaaCc
Clutches?
https://youtu.be/NcuMqreUDBY
Did this man just discover the power of nofap?
I heard this was tough - kudos to you!
"I lived a lot of my life as a pious pretender. When I stopped caring so much and just lived as an honest degenerate, life began to change for the better."
This is it right here, frens. We are broken man and can do nothing to save ourselves or to become more holy. There is only receiving the free gift of salvation.
Plot twist: his step-sister snuck into his bedroom and made this post.
Thanks for this. I enjoy reading personal journeys that others will share on here, even if I am not connected to it myself
The porn thing went away for me years ago. Sometimes changes in your living situation or relationship status are enough to do it. I did get to a minor problematic point with it for a while but it was more like part of a whole more destructive routine going on for a year or so in my life
Anyways thanks for sharing your insights and congratulations on your improvement!
May I recommend Ephesians 6:10-18 as a regular word to focus on. Build yourself a chart from it. Putting on the Full Armor of God and keeping that Armor on always is the only way to fight that ugly EVIL Satan and his demonic dominion.
Praise God you chose Jesus. Happy to have another brother in Christ. God Bless, lead, guide, strengthen and protect you in your faith and in this life. May He use you to reach others through your life experiences and your personal story.