Meanwhile comcast: "wait, you need an excuse to have outages?"

Wait, you're telling me yet another black person committed a serious crime? It's almost as if there's a pattern going on...

Or a cure for insomnia.

I mean the game itself is borderline unwatchable. Out of the 4 possible outcomes (detroit/ravens, detroit/chiefs, ravens/sf, sf/chiefs) they got the absolute worst one both for storytelling and general action. I've had a chat with a few of my football friends, and we're under the consensus that this could very well be one of those 10-3 or 13-10 kind of games and not the "30 points each team" one that we've been accustomed to seeing.

Yeah, they made the superbowl about as boring as humanly possible this year. They have the team that should've won last year vs the team that actually won it (considering philly deteriorated and SF only lost because both of their QB's arms exploded), and a halftime show featuring a guy who hasn't been relevant in 20 years.

Much like a constipated german shepherd, I peed on a fire hydrant once could give next to no shits about it.

Fun fact: #7 has nothing to do with the economy, and more that they're worried about lizzo's weight gain being so significant that it could turn her into a second moon, causing worldwide tidal issues.

Bah, I've revealed my location tons of times on here.

Yeah, apparently they're thinking of making a super-prison in northern BC with the idea that if anyone escaped it'd be like alcatraz. With all of these people stripped of their basic human rights flying on planes, it'll be hard to seperate it from Air Canada. Mind you they'd probably add a nominal fee for that kind of stuff. "So you want a burlap sack over your head while you're chained to the seat? That'll be $15."

So yeah, just got done performing at the open mic night at a local comedy club, and it went quite well. My opening story about the criminals being transferred/it being like air canada had the audience laughing from the get-go, and the owner asked me if I wanted to stop by next month and try it again. Can definitely see why people will find it scary, as you never know which joke will bomb.

On a bit of a side-note, "post-covid times" I've become a lot more outdoorsey and even do a bunch of charity stuff now, with my most recent endeavor involving rebuilding a vintage motorcycle and auctioning it off for the salvation army. I'm not sure if it was the amount of time I spent indoors for that and me making up for lost time, but I just find things with fresh air being fun now.

I mean his comedy is good if you don't think about it, much like most lefty values. One of my buddies sent me a 5 minute long video from one of his specials where he goes into great detail about his wife leaving at random parts of the night and his kids not looking like him. It was quite depressing to watch, and wasn't so much comedy as a man slowly realizing what he built is in shambles to the sound of a laughtrack.

After being told from a bunch of work buddies that my jokes are "stand-up" worthy, I'm deciding to give it a try tonight for an open mic night at a local comedy club. Expectations are super low, but it at least allows me to get something off my bucket list.

Which is surprising as there are rarely foreigners who claim to be "florida men". I guess a muslim or a mexican wouldn't want to be associated with doing the weird shit there. Blowing up buildings: fine. Accidentally cutting off someone's lips because you wanted to try to cut an apple in half from the mouth with a chainsaw: a bit "too extreme".

I mean they at least know their market. I remember 20 years ago the only thing they were known for were overpriced cards that women with 20 cats would buy, not for her friends (which she didn't have) but to celebrate her cats' birthdays.

Unlike other companies who try to peddle this shit then get confused why the vast majority of people don't buy it, clearly they're doing so to cater to the audience they already have.

Ah the congo, the country notorious for the most rapes per year. I guess that makes bill cosby a climatologist now?

Stuff like this makes the crime rate/shootings a lot more clearer. I used to think "oh, chicago is full of black people just doing their usual stuff". No, Chicago is slowly becoming like the book of eli where people need to steal/murder others just to survive.

See, I do a ton of online shopping and only ever use cash when I'm going to the scrapyard for parts (as it makes it way easier to haggle, especially if you're buying a bunch of things). I'd buy those parts online too, but it'd cost about 2-3x as much.

One of my neighbors' husbands had a similar thing last year, albeit it wasn't vax related. Depending on how bad his eyesight was before the incident it returning can happen. His came back after about 8 months, and according to both of them his exact words when he regained it were "wow, everyone looks way uglier than I remember them".

And much like twitter he'll barely change anything but have half the people on the main patriots site wanting to lick his asshole like a bowl of frosting.

Also don't forget to check your wheel nuts as well. With winter coming in cold weather causes metal to shrink a little bit, resulting in outer metal like that being a bit looser.

"Trump will be a dictator, not like that muppet biden who sends 90% of your money to ukraine."

You could kinda argue this is expected as cbc got phased out with all of their big hits retiring. Red Green is gone, air farce is gone with 3 of their original 4 members dead, mercer's gone, 22minutes is still technically "on the air" but is a farcry from their glory years. The only thing they really have now is murdoch mysteries, but from what one of my neighbors told me that show caters to old people and has been stale since season 6.

"And they shall call him Graphyte Obama."

My current doctor has this joke about the fact that the best people in all trades have the best "common sense", and that the reason 99% of doctors are so shit now is because the good ones went to become lawyers as it pays more.

Yeah, no. Beast is a sponsor-whoring hypocrit who could not be further aligned with them. Him and bill gates being "against" eachother is the equivalent of two pedophiles stumbling upon a passed out 8yr old and "fighting" eachother to see who gets first dibs.

It's because most AI is created in new york, which due to inbreeding and constant uses of the middle-finger has many residents dreaming of the potential "quad-bird flip".