These last few years, I would say I identify as Christian. However, with that comes the knowledge that I'm not really an example of what Christ wants me to be.
Among the shitposting and memeing, the worldly politics and mind-bending comms games, and the gradual dissipation and breaking down of an entire fake media matrix, how does everyone manage to stay uplifted?
I get hopium fixes from the usual crew we tend to listen to, but that really only covers geopolitical matrix games. It can be hard to maintain faith in one plan, let alone God's ultimate plan.
How do we navigate this in a Christian way?
Do you guys have any preachers or pastors, or biblical decoders you listen to? Any podcasts, audiobooks, videos?
I don't want to hyperfocus as much on the deceptive war games and get lost in a mental fog of war.
I guess I just get a bit terrified sometimes, that the earthly things are distracting me from really getting to a good place spiritually.
I know we all generally share similar values, and I respect the opinions of those able to see past at least some of the curtains of the show.
I guess I just wish I knew how to do more to bring Jesus into my life.
Any advice from wiser crazies than I?
Love ya, you nimble navigators.
We're all hypocrites. Thankfully our Lord and Savior died on a cross and was resurrected for us to be saved by believing in Him. Once I really heard the Gospel like this, I realized I didn't have to be perfect, Jesus was the perfect one. We are in a spiritual battle that has already been written and won. Have faith, pray, and give thanks to the Lord.
Amen! Giving thanks, even in the darkest times is so important!
In the highest.
This!
Thank you. Amen.
I’ll keep this simple, stayed up too late last night.
Try reading a little from the Bible once a day. You don’t have to start anywhere in particular. Just randomly choose a spot and read a little. Few minutes will grow to longer and it will guide you.
Try meditating. There are a lot of guides on YT or online. Personally, the Hail Mary prayer helps me a lot to start a meditating session. That prayer and the Lord’s Prayer repeated many times has helped me through the most stress I’ve ever had a had. I just try to do them every day regardless. I’m not assuming you’re Catholic, that’s just what helps me and eases me into a meditation period.
There was a hymn played at my brother’s funeral. I’ll post a link but it’s always stuck with me. It’s so powerful. Listen to something that floods your mind with hope and love. It doesn’t have to be a hymn. Consider checking out some classical music. This is an example of that hymn. Trust me on this. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_H_kgDXcKIw
Walks, runs and hikes outside with nature connect me to God better than most things. Try that if you don’t. We chat a lot then.
Create things for others. Build something, make something or do something to help another. It can be small like sending a card to your grandma or as simple as donating some stuff. Just try to do that more often. I live with this mantra - “Always make things better.” That applies to my own home, the outdoors, others. Whether it’s cleaning up, fixing things, helping someone else- it’s just good.
Plant some things. Nurture the outdoors.
Try a musical instrument of you don’t.
God is always with you. You have to clear away the noise and chaos to hear him.
Thank you for the suggestions! I'm not Catholic, and I don't know if I know enough to identify as a denomination outside of just knowing Christ is real. I suppose it's kinda raw faith in that regard.
I like to listen to the Lord's Prayer in Jewish Aramaic and Syrian Aramaic. There are some very nice renditions of that online if you wanted to hear.
I appreciate you linking the hymn for me. My deepest condolences and love regarding your brother. I shall listen to it tonight.
As for instruments, I play keyboard and ukulele.
I think you're right that I need to manifest it with good works helping others. Social anxiety and health issues can impede that, but I'm probably putting up roadblocks for myself.
Thank you, fren.
Thanks for the suggestion and about my brother. That means a lot.
I get it, regarding the anxiety and health stuff. Sorry you’re having challenges as well. Small things. Think of small things to help. Doing random things like... letting someone go ahead of you in line at the store. I’m always surprised at their reaction- like “omg, someone is being NICE to me???” One thing leads to another. Or donating some things. You don’t really have to interact with anyone very much. If you have a craft, you can donate some of what you make. I know a guy who makes beautiful cutting boards and donates them (leftover wood projects.) Just some ideas. But with meditating- just anything that you can say in your head repetitively helps get you in that zone. It doesn’t specifically have to be a prayer. Hang in there!
I talk to God too when I walk my buddy (pup). I walk at day break. The quiet that early is peaceful too. I love being outside.🙏🌳🌷
I always get up early to have that time outside. Birds just waking up. It’s nice being the only one seemingly awake with nature in the morning.
Remember pray, pray some more, read the Bible and pray. If you have a local church family.. attend.
I've enjoyed Andy Stanley and Beth Moore. If you can handle a bit cheesy feel good movies, they can lift a mood.. Facing the giants, War Room.. even Mom's night out. Heck, the old 10 Commandments. Or dig into some literature.. CS Lewis, Frank Peretti, Bill Bright, Francine River's Mark of the Lion series is good.
Having prayer, Bible and fellowship are key. Sharing your faith. Don't live based in fear. Just the fact that you are aware of something unbalanced is a great thing. Take a break if needed for mental and spiritual health. Praying for you!
Thank you for the suggestions!
Yw.. and Ack! I mean the movie War Room.. not prayer room. But yeah..lol It has Priscilla Shirer. Btw, she is a powerhouse teacher also. I'll fix it in above comment.
Ah, thank you!
Btw, have you seen The Chosen?
Love, love, LOVE that series.
Hi, no I have not. I just watched the trailer on INDB. It looks good. I'll try to track it down. You saw Fiddler on the Roof?
He's an interesting fellow
Who doesn't reveal his name is Gary? wilmot...a private detective...might have the first name wrong ...
I really dislike people who pretend to be someone they are not and this man pretended to be JFK jnr for years and never once said ..look..I am not John John...the likes of RDS the fantasist Kerry cassidy and a whole group really played this game too...they need locking up for playing on people's hopes ...
it's why I have no truck with religion...there seems to be three different Jesus in the Bible..which is a record of what happened when the elohim invaded in their 23 different flying crafts..
Saul of tarsus a Roman set up a new religion ..tagging the four gospels by unknown authors some few hundred years later. And using Jacobs tribe account of the elohim..their wars. The 163 commandments they had to obey..the cloning centres etc to add weight...inserting a few verses that Jesus was expected in this old testament....
Jesus is said to be the only begotten son of yahweh..but this is not the case... yahweh had more than one offspring ...the Bible says mary whose mother was really royal in the line of David...was covered..a term for sex by a gavri el..an elhomin..a fallen angel/god/Lord/annanuki..not yahweh... Either way the annanuki/elohim are mortal just long lived.
Or
there is the zealot..born from a family of zealous ..not in Nazareth..this man wanted to and said he had come to save the lost sheep of israel. That's all he was interested in.. they were under Roman occupation and his cousin John the Baptist also a zealot and the disciples were all zealots.
Or
There is the Jesus born in December.. who sacrificed his life for our sins??at Easter what sin???and rose again on the third day..lamb of God etc saviour...
Just the exact same story as the pagan god they were all worshipping at the time called Mithras..just a name change...look it up...
Now if you really want to know the truth you can look at my comments and sources or you can carry on believing in the comforting fantasy you currently believe..just like the covidians believe in the jab and won't listen to truth.
I wanted to give you the opportunity to really know the truth and it's up to you what you do with the information
This sounds like a mixture of the zeitgeist stuff with ancient aliens stuff and a few various other out of context takes on what Christianity is.
For one, Jesus was likely born around September and is never mentioned to have been born around the winter solstice. You are right that the lore of the fallen angels was mixed in with Christianity (Christmas, Easter, etc), but that can be attributed both to the worshippers of these Babylonian systems having integrated into Christianity and also to the fact that the inverter of truth wanted to invert the realities of Christ and to do so the only way he knows how (twisting reality to fit a story that benefits his agenda.)
As for the second hypothesis, you are right. He did come to the lost sheep of Israel. Both the Israelites of those days and those of the lost tribes. However, He clarified His message was to be sent to all people through the disciples.
There is no disproving Christ, because He is truth. There can be semi-convincing arguments that are well-crafted but fall apart based on a little unbiased inquiry. I was an atheist for years before certain realizations took me down the lane of coming to this knowledge.
Lee Strobel is a good source.
I'm one of those persons who knows God lives bc I've had several profound spiritual experiences in my lifetime. Debating whether or not there's a God, or second guessing it.... could get me shocked by lightning! Because I know and God knows I can't deny those experiences!
You talk of a God..that God is not in the Bible which is a record starting Bereshit..in the beginning...when the elohim/annanuki/gods/fallen angels/ invaded earth as told by scribes of Jacobs tribe who picked one of the elohim to be their commander who led them out of Egypt.
Attempts were made to put in a gnostic god from Plato's writing etc..muvpch much later..in their attempts to make this yahweh individual a God of all..tovbig up the Israelites and the tribe of Jacob..my god is bigger than your god etc etc
Yes please. I know some of his stuff but would love a nice selection of relevant faves!
God bless!
You sound a bit young. The reason I say that is I remember feeling this way too, still do at times. We all have our moments when we feel unsteady even though we know the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Your fear of “earthly things distracting you” shows that you’re wiser and closer than you know. Holy Spirit is protecting you. I enjoy Pastor Steve Ciccolanti from Australia, Robin Bullock on YouTube, anything pretty much from Elijah Streams on Rumble. Donna Rigney and Barry Wench from Canada are wonderful and both gifted in prophecy. Good luck to you and please reach out if you have more questions, although you will probably discover far more on your own.
About 30ish, which I guess is youngish.
Thank you for the suggestions, I haven't heard of any of these folks.
God bless, fren!
Yes, God bless you too my young fren. I’m twice your age and wish my mind had been as sharp as yours is now. Godspeed on your journey
Thank you! We all have our strengths and weaknesses and I have no doubt that you excel in many areas that I do not.
I don't necessarily buy that I'm too sharp, but I definitely appreciate the compliment!
This is what I love about this community by the way. We're all different ages, backgrounds, countries, but we're all here United in spirit in this weird coming together of faith and discernment that's hard to even define.
But we can feel why we're here.
If you want to understand the prophetic more, Elijah streams will help you. I started watching right after the 2020 election and have kept up with everything they put out since. I really enjoy what they have and honestly don’t have time for much else or I would
Easy! God's in charge!!! Scriptures are a voice of warning and prophecy so we can prepare. Our Father in Heaven has provided everything we need to get through these times. It may get scary, and evil will abound, but God wins in the end!
The things happening in the world are precisely what drives me to seek God more. Sometimes it’s hard, yes, but making a difference in our communities starts with YOU.
I looked around for a while to find a charity that is actively making a difference, or would let me volunteer to help with my spare time. After looking for a while, it was harder to find than I expected. However, churches are doing those things every day. Find yourself a good church and you’ll find people who are making a difference.
Also, I started listening to this podcast every morning - “the Bible in a Year” by Mike Schmitz. (Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bible-in-a-year-with-fr-mike-schmitz/id1539568321?i=1000561516193)
Join a study group or Bible study. Get involved.
We aren’t perfect. We are all going to fall short and make mistakes. But luckily Jesus has given us the chance to keep trying, as long as you are committed to being better, he’ll never stop giving you more chances. That is freeing. We have nothing to worry about in this world because Jesus made that sacrifice for us.
Good luck man, and God bless. I’ll pray for you fren.
I meditate and 'pretend' to have a conversation with Jesus to get things off my chest and see what he has to say by way of guidance.
Funny thing, I'm not so sure it's 'pretend' :)
I've spoken with God in my darkest moments. It was God who made himself known and helped me out of that dark hole.
I worry about imposing my own thoughts and interpreting them as God, but I absolutely have faith that He is real and cares about us.
I should do it more though.
I find it hard to commit to any regular Biblical study or schedule, and find myself often thinking about it late at night. I often fall asleep to Bible audiobooks before I make it through, but wonder if I'm absorbing any of it while I sleep.
You likely are. I'd suggest the Gospels if you are going to start a reading plan, and bite size pieces at a time from the Gospel of Mark. (Mark is fast moving, and fairly easy to understand.
I've only ever found one true way of verifying what I hear in my head as being real or not - and that is a combination of instinct, and results.
If you're gut isn't warning you it's a trick and the results are positive - who else can determine whether or not it's real above you?
The Bible, along with the Holy Spirit.
If you are looking for some books with a firm foundation, I like RC Sproul.
In particular, Essentials of the Christian Faith, Faith Alone, (Which will give you some of the history of the Reformation) and The Invisible Hand are three I'd recommend.
Same applies to Ligonier Ministries videos, podcasts, etc.
Navigation in a Christian way is more about realizing we are always under grace and it is never about working (on our own) our way to Christ , heaven or anything else, because without Him. we can do nothing. I'd recommend reading Galatians through, Slowly.
You must develop the capacity to hear the Holy Ghost through sincere, sometimes broken-hearted prayer. A testimony of Christ can not survive hard times without that.
Second, work on love. Admittedly, I'm stuck here. If God loves all things, then that includes ticks, nature, mosquitoes, and the adversary's minions as they torture and rape or murder children. Approve of their actions, no, but love them yes. If one of my children did something so unspeakable to another of his siblings, I would put his butt on a like and burn it, but I would still love him.
When you acknowledge your broken heart, try repentance, specific or general, and the Holy Spirit will comfort you.
OP here. Just also wanted to mention/ask, whether you guys had seen The Chosen?
It helped make faith more real for me. I sincerely believe this is an important divine project that helps spread the Gospel.
Jonathan Roumie as Jesus brought me to real physical tears with two words "Follow Me".
Eagerly awaiting Season 3. The Sermon on the Mount.
Thank you for the suggestion. I just looked it up on IMDb, watched a clip and it looks good. When circumstances permit, I'll look into watching it.
With regards to your question of staying uplifted in such challenging times, it seems you've been given some good advice by several anons. For me it's been a bit of a rollercoaster, trying to not get sucked down into an abyss when hearing of good people across the globe being put under evil's boot, worrying about friends and family who have succumbed to the fear and taken the jabs, hearing of people dying or being maimed from what the evil ones have set into motion, etc.
For me, it's not one single "trick" to remain uplifted, but a combination of several different things. First, I remain thankful for all the wonderful things in my life and I thank God for them daily - for my family, my life, my home, my body, my hobbies, for the food I eat, for the beauty and wonders of the world, etc. I tell the Lord that I love Him - and He always returns the sentiment. I read the Bible (though not nearly as much as I'd like to). Getting out in nature helps. Just speaking pleasantly to strangers while out and about. I have hobbies that I enjoy and, while requiring focus on the task at hand, also result in creation - which I thank God for giving me the inspiration for. You can (and probably should) try and watch various pastors/preachers on TV or online. Find ones who give you uplifting messages that you connect with. Definitely step away from the heavy madness we're all coping with here periodically.
Also, be kind to yourself. Realize that we're all imperfect and we all struggle with trying to "live right", making mistakes and trying to learn from them and do better in the future. The Lord is many things - our Creator, our Teacher, the Love, the Light, etc - but He's also our Father. Just as a good earthly father will want the best for his own children, he won't toss them aside if they make a mistake.
This board is filled with a full range of interesting people, some of them very funny, many (if not most) very caring and helpful. In any case, best of luck to you in keeping your spirits up.
I pray. A lot. Put my complete trust in God, even when everything seems bleakest.
Maybe you don't maintain your faith. And in doing that you are left with dark nothing. This dark nothing, turns you around and back to faith, to light.
So, lose your faith, and find it once again.
I suppose that's true in a sense.
Its easy to be human, its been hard for me to rationalize my day to day life with what I precieve to be yhe proper Christian way of life. I tend to keep spirits up because I have faith that Christ is King and through him I will find salvation. That is the most uplifting thing for me.
Its not the day to day dose of hopium that keeps me, I tend to ignore that stuff. Instead I focus on the idea that this life is a passage to the afterlife. Nothing that I do in this mortal shell is more important than preparing for that.
In that frame of mind, God wins and has always had a plan. So I know thatno matter what if I follow the path and teachings of Christ I willbe just fine. I may die here on this world but my eternal soul will be saved.
" Christ Is a constant " and my faith in him does not change BUT the church in these times is a lot more difficult to navigate or even define.This is hard for a weathered christian like myself, so I appreciate how tough it is for you. I felt compelled to take a break from formal church when they were enforcing masks and QR coding. However if you can find a group of supportive christian,s that is always the best BUT in these times if they are the "render to ceasar"variety ie Let the govt take your money, control your body etc.Then ask God for a new friend to support you because to even put this post up means you love GOD a lot. PS GOD bless you.
Heavenly Father. I pray that you fill our or fellow christian with the Holy Spirit. Grant them the discernment and strength we all need so very much in the times. Help them with the ability to forgive and to pray for those lost sheep who have turned away from you o Lord.
In Jesus name i pray
Amen.
Thank you so much.
I think the forgiveness part is hard for me, which pains me.
Everyone struggles with this, which is why Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving servant. When we see clearly and remember how much we have been forgiven for, it is far easier to forgive others:
https://bible.org/seriespage/3-parable-unforgiving-servant
I understand 100%
Try reading Matthew 6:25 - 34. "Do Not Worry". We are not made to worry, we are made to lean on God.
None of us here are perfect fren, it's impossible, and I sure have gone through dark times. And in them darker times, when I needed serious life and death help I started to speak out to God....................And he answered!
Never always believed, possibly thought something spiritual was out there but totally not a follower, until I really needed help. Then it all changed.
Nobody here on earth has all the answers, recognise that and accept it, the rest will fall in line.
Now we have a battle to win and evil to defeat. God bless anon.
Listen to the song "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last. The song goes over the concept of existence when thinking of the world as a percentage chance in the endless infinite.
The universe is infinitely massive, maybe even never ending. Throughout all that infinity, what ends up being the rarest thing of all? We've scoured the heavens and have an idea of how to find life, yet the only sign of it we still have is the one we see here on Earth. So for that 99.infinity% chance life doesn't exist throughout the rest of the Universe, we are that 0.0infinity01% chance of life and existence.
There are an infinite number of timelines that exist, an infinite number of people you could have become. Your life could have gone an infinite number of ways too, yet it went this way. You ended up having a life full of actions and reactions that has led you to this very moment in time. Some people just boil that down to life, but when considering the 0.0infinite% chance of anything even happening in this world, I consider it fate.
Throughout all of infinity, you and I exist watching the world burn exactly as chaotically as we predicted. We could be anywhere in the world right now, but we are here and awake to witness it all. Throughout all the infinite timelines, we exist in this one; throughout all the infinite timelines, God both exists and does not. For if there are an infinite number of possibilities, he is both real and not at the same time. Yet through all those infinite possibilities, we are living in one where he feels most alive. That's how I explain the 0.0infinite01% chance we're even being awoken, let alone exist.
2 questions might help to get you started:
Glad to see all the comments here. Go back to the faith of your childhood- that’s how I started. I went every Sunday & told myself I would go through one calendar year & see what happens. I’m hooked- confirmed my faith & now this year I’m just trying to pray 20 minutes every day- go to church & keep the commandments. I have no real fear- just peace in my heart. He is with us ❤️
One of the comments or articles on here (around Easter) suggested focusing on Christ's passion and crucifixion if you wanted understanding on this level. His torment in Gethsemane, knowing what was to come, and his love of the Father (and us) throughout.
My go-to for the past few years has been finding Christian hymns online, and loading up my mp3 player (yeah, I know). Seriously helps me through the dark times. Just my two cents from one imperfect Christian to another. Just have to keep trying.
I don’t know how else to reply other than to say I just can’t live without Him. I just can’t. Watching the Chosen also really helps.
The Chosen is so good. It helped make it real for me, seeing actual people going through struggles and Christ accepting and guiding them.
I must give it a rewatch.
And when you rewatch The Chosen, consider how Jesus’ disciples didn’t always know exactly what to do, they didn’t always do the right thing, he didn’t always explain everything to them precisely. They had to trust Him, keep going. It is OK to make mistakes, just be humble and keep following Jesus. It’s a journey.
There is no need for your heart to be troubled and no reason to beat yourself up for feeling afraid. Just change your perspective. You are looking at the waves, but there is no fear in the storm if you fix your eyes upon the One who is in the boat with you. He said we would have trouble in the world, so it's no surprise that there is some. He said there would be earthquakes and wars and famines and persecutions––even eclipses. Yes, things are pretty bad out there, but the badness of the world is not your reality. The goodness of God is.
The source of your fear is losing what you have, losing your loved ones, or even your own life. Don't hang onto this world because it's all temporary. Enjoy good things, but hold them lightly. Set your eyes on your source in heaven and receive the supernatural peace Jesus said He gave to us. He promised this as a gift for everybody who trusts Him, and like everything else in the New Covenant it is received by faith. God's promises aren't automatic. You have to lay hold of them by faith. (John 14:27 & 2 Peter 1:3-4.) You have to be sure.
To undergird this point, it is important to understand that the New Covenant isn't a rehashing of the Law of Moses. It is a covenant of faith like God's covenant with Abraham, who believed God and it was accounted to him for righteousness. (Genesis 15:6, Romans 4:3, Galatians 3:6) Jeremiah prophesied about this covenant, saying it would different from the covenant at Sinai. This means it operates by a different set of principles, which Paul constantly contended to people who wanted to make it conform to the Law of Moses. (Jeremiah 31:31-34, the whole book of Galatians)
In light of that it is reasonable to choose to believe God's promises because it is clear in scripture that He isn't holding back. (Matthew 7:11, Luke 12:32, 2 Corinthians 1:20) A stingy far-away God is a religious idea, and it has nothing to do with who He really is. He loves us, and He is happy to answer our prayers, but He doesn't respond to prayers that aren't sure. He responds to our confidence in Him, our faith. (Galatians 3:2-3, James 1:2-8, Hebrews 11:1) All you have to do is look at how Jesus, who is the express image of the Father, responded when people were sure He would heal them or wouldn't give up on what they wanted. (Like Father, like Son. John 14:9)
Peace to you. May God reveal His love to you in its fullness and make you like a pillar that can't be moved..
Roman 8:38,39. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you. I don't know what else to write. It means a lot.
God bless you and Christ be with you.
How do we NOT? The crazier things get, the more I run to Him. I don't listen to religious podcasters, youtube church session, I haven't attended a church in many years. I listen to my intuition, I am strong in my faith (a good upgrading is probably to thank for that). I pray A LOT. Every time I step outside and look at nature - the woods behind my house, the squirrels, rabbits, birds, the beautiful colors of the flowers and leaves, etc - I worship Him.
Find what makes you thankful and grateful and try to put yourself around those things more frequently. If the world gets too crazy, you have to draw yourself back. Kind of like jerking your hand off a hot stove. Don't be afraid to say (or sing) "Jesus take the wheel!" You have to protect yourself. Put on that full armor of God. Visualize yourself surrounded by it and know you are protected and loved.
Edit to add: my all-time favorite bible hymn, hauntingly beautiful, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gj6wCbb8iY
(it's not the full version, sadly)
The point of us being born again is that we are born into God's kingdom. We have the Holy Spirit that guides us if we let it. We are free then to pursue what the things of the spirit. The US is just the location we live. We are first citizens of the kingdom of God.
I am newly back with the Lord about two years ago. I suffer from severe depression, and have found a treatment that’s working really well. But moreover, it’s my dedication to him.
I try to go to church twice a week, and a women study. The women study I think is great because you find new friendships, and people who have like-minded beliefs systems and world views.
I try to read one proverb, and one psalms a day - and do some additional reading. I’m also working on memorizing the whole armor of God. It’s a long one, and it’s gonna take a while but I’ll get it down.
I just had foot surgery, so I’ve been stuck in my room with my foot elevated for more than two weeks now. I thought for sure it was going to be miserable, but for some reason I just have this joy, and peace, and it’s been wonderful.
I am so grateful to have the Lord in my life, because I’m not prone to fear porn, and rage porn, and put my trust in him daily. As much as I love this forum, there’s so much of the fear and rage. The Lord said for us to be anxious for nothing, and I strive for that. I’m not saying I don’t get upset about things, and not I’m numb to the world, but focus on things I can change!
You described me perfectly.
Change your perspective. Start from the position that GOD is in control and protects you. All you must do is let him, and follow his laws. Nothing in this world can possibly be worse than leaving GOD. So, keep your faith, do the best you can (as you are imperfect), and serve HIM.
If GOD is with us, who can be against us?
Fren, you don't 'identify' as Christian. You either are a Christian, or you're not. Start there. Make sure you actually are a believer. If you're not sure, then do this. Humble yourself, get down on your knees and with all sincerity, pray a little prayer like this, "God, I don't know what to think or what to believe. Do You even exist? If You do, I want to know You because I want to know the truth. God, if You are real, please reveal Yourself to me." Once you are convinced of that, go from there.
Jesus Himself said that stumbling blocks would come. Probably every believer has gone through periods of doubt. But we also know from Ephsesians 2:8-9 that faith itself comes from God. "8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast." When your faith seems to be lacking, pray for more. God is willing to see you through.
It's not quite that simple in my mind.
I identify as Christian because I know he is the way. I can feel that in a way I can't explain.
But I don't necessarily act in the way a Christian should, I think, even though I'm not trying to commit evil or anything.
So it's like there's a disconnect between my spirit and flesh that I find hard to reconcile.
So, have you actually repented of your sin, accepted Jesus as your savior? As the son of God, the Way, the Truth and the Life? I don't know you, of course. I ask because it might be that you haven't actually taken that step that you're feeling like something is disconnected.?
Ha! Well, Paul himself had this problem. We all do because we are still sinners, We are counseled to 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling.' No doubt it feels uncomfortable to you, but you honestly are in the same boat as loads of other people. All we can do is pray, pray, pray and do the best we can each day. God well knows what is in our hearts, even when we ourselves feel like complete losers. I've come to believe that is part of His plan. That we should continue to seek and question and even struggle as we draw closer to Him, all the while wondering if we're 'doing it right.'
I personally talk to Jesus all day long, like he is sitting here in my office with me. He knows your heart and what is in your head, but is nice to just tell him. I like to listen to Chuck Missler, he is great and explains crazy in depth. He has some good studies https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hGmj2-7H7TU I really like the older preachers best, the fire and brimstone ones!
I read the Bible.
This is one of my most frequented sites- https://www.biblegateway.com/
Charles Spurgeon was a famous preacher from the 19th century (died in 1892 at the age of 57). He is known as the Prince of Preachers and his sermons have been translated to many languages. Sermons can be used as a springboard for further studies-
https://www.thekingdomcollective.com/spurgeon/list/
Walter Veith is a Seventh Day Adventist, like Ben Carson, and put out a video series Total Onslaught which is very informative, but I say that with some caveats due to his denomination.
As far as Seventh Day Adventism goes, I don't believe Ellen White is a prophetess, and is in fact a false prophetess, but I find the denomination interesting for one reason - their theology is mostly mainline Protestant doctrine from 1844 with some deception mixed in. Once you remove Ellen White's writing, and her Investigative Judgment doctrine from the mix, you're left with a snapshot of what Protestants in this country used to believe before the Rockefellers took over the theological seminaries in the United States in the early 1900s.
Here's a link to the Total Onslaught video series on Veith's website-
https://adtv.watch/series/total-onslaught
You can either skip (or watch with care) episodes 22 and 28-32 as those are the Adventist specific videos.
Here's some warnings on Adventism to keep in mind- https://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Seventh-Day%20Adventist/nwo.htm