Could you offer to drive her places, or alternatively, run errands for her? Another idea would be to put together some food that is easy to prepare/eat in a hotel. If she has a microwave and mini fridge that could be things like soups (look for pop top cans or pick up a can opener), cheese & crackers, apples, instant coffee with a flavored creamer, some cookies, paper bowls, plates, a microwave safe mug, cheap utensils, that sort of thing. Sometimes it's just nice to get a little assortment of things like that when you are long term in a hotel.
can confirm. just lived in hotels for almost a year and only the extended stay ones have stoves/regular size fridges. if she only has a microwave, anything that can easily be made in that would be awesome. and i 2nd others with a gift card somewhere to buy some extra clothes/toiletries. you are so nice for doing something fren!! maybe a 12 pack for the stress and a cooler lol. she'll at least be able to ice it with the ice there at the hotel and keep more things than a mini fridge will allow if that's all she has.
Yeah! Gift of time too. She may need someone to talk with or bounce decisions off of. Sometimes stuff is going to “feel” overwhelming for her at times. Have her over for dinner with your family.
Yeah that's true. From what I heard she's basically stranded in a hotel room having to uber everything since she can't really go anywhere in her current state.
I'm a woman in my50s. If she's in a hotel then either a soft warm blanket or soft bath towels. hotels always have icky blankets and their towels are always small and rough. Then ask what else you can get for her. If she orders from a store perhaps you can pick it up for her to save on delivery charges? If she orders clothing or shoes, maybe you can offer to return them if they don't work out for her?
She might be too proud to want to be a burden on anyone, but remind her that people and especially MAGA, Q people want to help each other, especially when one of them is in a tight spot.
Remind her we are all God's children and Q's Army and we take care of each other and leave no one behind.
Cash. In a card. & a meal for the night. She's the only one who knows what she really needs.
& it's absolutely wonderful for you to help. I had a work friend who's apartment burned up. I collected money around the office for her and her fiance. She was very grateful.
I'm always amazing at how wonderful it feels when someone brings me a treat that I wasn't expecting. My neighbor had her grandson drop off a piece of mint chocolate cake the other day. It was absolutely delicious. Such a lovely little surprise. She'll really be happy with anything you give. She may need to complain so listening could help too.
You could maybe call the local church too and see if they have any donations set aside for families in dire need. You're welcome. I'll say a prayer and hope things work out for her.
Actually, if you know others that know her family, if you were able to collect some family photos and get them copied for her, she would love that. Losing family photos is often a loss that bothers people after a fire.
And ignore it when she says she's fine and doesn't need anything. She's most likely proud and not used to asking others for help while she's the first one to line up when others need help. I like the suggestion of a Walmart gift card or any food-related gift card. At least with Walmart she can buy some basic clothing.
Just tell her you knew that she was going to say that, and it doesn’t matter to you because you know she still needs help.
Perhaps you should pick her up and take her to Walmart, and offered to pay for some things for her. But give her a price limit. Then she can pick out think she likes herself, and it will be a bonding moment for you both.
So do you think that by now that not one person has brought her any clothes at all? Perhaps you should ask her? Doesn’t she have some family. Also, if that’s the only clothes that I had and somebody was offering to help me yes I would go to Walmart in my pajamas. All she has to do is pick out an outfit going to changing room and change right away into the new clothes. 😂🤣
I don't think she really knows anyone in the area. She moved here from another state. I'm just kind of worried logistically plus she'll probably feel embarrassed.
You could just buy her a greeting card - like an "I'm sorry" card or condolences or something (or just a blank card), stick the gift card inside, seal the envelope, hand it to her and leave before she gets a chance to open it. :)
Or, get her an amazon card - they deliver! So she can order clothes, get them delivered, then go out to get whatever she needs afterward.
I'm totally the same kind of gal. It's humbling to realize that you're the one that needs help. At some point we all need to put that aside and accept the help of our fellow man. I'm praying for her and you.
We lost everything in a fire 9 years ago. My husband and I and 6 kids were so overwhelmed with dealing with reporters, insurance agent and adjuster, going thru donations...most of which were the wrong sizes or stained or missing buttons, etc. People meant well and we totally appreciated everything. But, we had to rent a storage unit (unheated in freezing weather) and spent the first week, 10 to 12 hours a day, going thru box after box. I finally broke down crying because I'd been wearing the same bra and underwear all week (washed in the tub and hung every night ;) ) So, I would have appreciated a gift certificate or cash and a good friend to force me to go shopping and to lunch to chill out, a little sense of normalcy. Or, just ask her what she really needs the most right now.
We had apartment fire while the kids were small, we were out shopping for school supplies and came home to them putting out fire. Hub was over seas at the time, a few of the neighbors took care of the kids while I delt with the filling of forms for that night. Being mil, we were able to get a room at lodging on base for a few weeks but, that was still a pain, nice to have exchange and commissary across the street though. I would suggest like many have, GENERAL gift card "online one if she has access" or to a general goods store near her.. It was all the little personal care items that I was constantly doing without for those weeks (including medications) for myself more than the kids. Daughter got a lil stuffed bunny from neighbor that night, she held onto it for years after, her favorite stuff animal. heh. If she does speak to you listen to her words, can figure out what else she lost, we lose many items but, until you lose them all, dont realize how many you can actually do without and the few that you actually MISS having. lol.
is her insurance paying for the hotel? if so, to a store! if you dont know id just do a store if she lost everything. even bowls and utensils/shower items if she's in a hotel that doesn't provide that or has shitty one use shampoos ya know
Good of you, but really, the exact right thing to do. Does she have adult children watching out for her? Does she have anybody? A place to stay, etc.? Hopefully she had homeowners insurance (assuming that was her own home and not a rental.) If she was renting and didn't have renters insurance, that could be very bad so I sincerely hope that's not the case.
I honestly don't know what to tell you. Needing almost everything, what would be most important. Food, clothing, shelter. If she's got a place to stay, and IF she had insurance, then those things should be covered. In the meantime, some small gesture from you to let her know you care. Maybe something maga related? Wish I could be more helpful. I'm glad you're reaching out to her. If I think of something else, I'll come back to suggest it. Thanks for being a decent person.
Non female here, but I'll try anyway. I don't know what part of the country you're in, but maybe some a woman's winter coat and scarf, or basic clothes. Maybe a couple grocery bags with some basics and some tasty snacks. Or maybe take her out for a friendly dinner. She could probably use someone to chat with.
Some gift cards to local restaurants since she probably has no place to cook. And microwave food gets old fast. Gift card to local grocery
I spent 5 weeks in an extended stay hotel and having friends bring groceries made my life so much better. The hotel provided a delicious breakfast but the other meals were a challenge.
Prayers for your neighbor! Can someone start a local fund for her that people can contribute to so she can have funds to help her get back on track. We have a local bank in town and any time someone’s house burns down everyone pitches in on a Friday when they cash their checks. It’s amazing how much our little community comes together for people in need.
If she jogs, an inexpensive jogging outfit would likely be appreciated but a gift card to a place she likes might work better. If you have a local Shoe Carnival or Ross Dress for Less, Bealls, or Bealls Outlet stores, you can often find good deals on nice things there (and should be able to find gift cards there, as well)
As a lady one of the reasons I literally hate clothes shopping (with anyone else) is I can try on one pair of pants in a size, they are too snug, then the same size different style or brand fits great. This is an experience I will only share with a few close family members or friends.
Praying for your neighbor.
Also a diary would be helpful, an address book, and a copy of the Scriptures, for a person of faith.
I'm a woman in my 50s and I know what I would want in that situation: a lined journal (not a little one; full-size pages like the "Black n' Red" journals), a blue uniball micro pen, and a living flowering plant. The plant for hope and beauty, the journal to process the grief.
Something for which it is easy to guess the size. Like a medium or a large shirt and sweat pants, socks and tennis shoes. Usually a 9 shoe will work for a 50 yo woman unless she is tiny. Better too big than too small.
She has to have something to wear while she goes shopping with your gift card.
I'm kind of wondering how I can make her feel comfortable at first since she won't be able to get ready at all. She probably isn't used to people seeing her like that and I don't want her to be embarrassed.
If you just knock on the hotel door and don't try to visit, that will help. Just say something like, "Neighbors have each other's backs." Hand it to her, smile, and take off. She will appreciate that.
You have gotten a lot of great ideas.I suggest a few gift cards to places where she could get clothes and other things she needs like Walmart, Target, Goodwill, grocery store, etc. A bouquet of flowers would be nice. Nothing fancy, a bunch to brighten her spirits. perhaps you can get her a Trump hat, a new Trump flag and even write Trump and let him know. Who knows, he could send her an autographed hat.
Take care of her yard area and see if she could give you a list and you would run to the store for her.
Talk to your parents and the other neighbors to see if you guys could work something out to help her get on her feet quickly. Knowing your neighbors are there in hard times makes good times sweeter.
I know very little about things like give send go, nor if you are allowed to plug one here, but it would seem, unsurprisingly, that there are a whole lot of caring people here. I damn sure ain't loaded, but I would contribute for sure.
So many great suggestions are being given. Gift cards for useful things are good, but I think money is the most useful.
For gift cards she would need transportation to get to the store or a computer to purchase items online. If anything is bought online, she needs to wait for it and have an address to receive it. She might need to purchase something that a particular store doesn't carry. She might need money for medications, etc. Perhaps the neighborhood could set up a fund for her.
Also, homemade food is always thoughtful and helpful. Perhaps your mom could make a casserole, prepare chicken or something else. Canned soup or meals are convenient.
You are right. Many people are very proud and sometimes decline help. I have told people who are like that, it would make ME feel better and happy if they accepted it. That usually works.
What a fine person you are. You are a ray of sunshine and humanity is this socially bleak world we live in. God Bless and Protect you, your family, this nice woman and the whole neighborhood. And never change. 🌷
Could you offer to drive her places, or alternatively, run errands for her? Another idea would be to put together some food that is easy to prepare/eat in a hotel. If she has a microwave and mini fridge that could be things like soups (look for pop top cans or pick up a can opener), cheese & crackers, apples, instant coffee with a flavored creamer, some cookies, paper bowls, plates, a microwave safe mug, cheap utensils, that sort of thing. Sometimes it's just nice to get a little assortment of things like that when you are long term in a hotel.
can confirm. just lived in hotels for almost a year and only the extended stay ones have stoves/regular size fridges. if she only has a microwave, anything that can easily be made in that would be awesome. and i 2nd others with a gift card somewhere to buy some extra clothes/toiletries. you are so nice for doing something fren!! maybe a 12 pack for the stress and a cooler lol. she'll at least be able to ice it with the ice there at the hotel and keep more things than a mini fridge will allow if that's all she has.
Yeah! Gift of time too. She may need someone to talk with or bounce decisions off of. Sometimes stuff is going to “feel” overwhelming for her at times. Have her over for dinner with your family.
A bag with toiletries? She def needs clothes and shoes, but that’s hard to buy for someone you don’t know.
Or a WM gift card. 🤷♀️
Yeah that's true. From what I heard she's basically stranded in a hotel room having to uber everything since she can't really go anywhere in her current state.
I'm a woman in my50s. If she's in a hotel then either a soft warm blanket or soft bath towels. hotels always have icky blankets and their towels are always small and rough. Then ask what else you can get for her. If she orders from a store perhaps you can pick it up for her to save on delivery charges? If she orders clothing or shoes, maybe you can offer to return them if they don't work out for her?
I like those ideas. I guess in situations like this the little things can help a lot.
The blanket or towels she can take to her new home and will remind her of people's kindness.
good idea. a nice blanket would rock!! just lived in all sorts of hotels and having our own blankets was great.
Tell her that you are there for her.
She might be too proud to want to be a burden on anyone, but remind her that people and especially MAGA, Q people want to help each other, especially when one of them is in a tight spot.
Remind her we are all God's children and Q's Army and we take care of each other and leave no one behind.
WWG1WGA
Yeah that's my only fear. I don't want to end up making her feel even more vulnerable or something.
I know you are in difficult situation. You are just the neighbour's kid.
Does she have other friends and family members helping her, and she might think your interest in her is unwarranted?
See if you can carefully approach her and offer any assistance if she needs it.
That way at least you tried. It can be difficult!
A nice warm plush bathrobe could be very comforting. On the practical side, a gift card or money.
Cash. In a card. & a meal for the night. She's the only one who knows what she really needs.
& it's absolutely wonderful for you to help. I had a work friend who's apartment burned up. I collected money around the office for her and her fiance. She was very grateful.
It's such a hard thing to bring up. She needs everything now.
I'm always amazing at how wonderful it feels when someone brings me a treat that I wasn't expecting. My neighbor had her grandson drop off a piece of mint chocolate cake the other day. It was absolutely delicious. Such a lovely little surprise. She'll really be happy with anything you give. She may need to complain so listening could help too.
You could maybe call the local church too and see if they have any donations set aside for families in dire need. You're welcome. I'll say a prayer and hope things work out for her.
Actually, if you know others that know her family, if you were able to collect some family photos and get them copied for her, she would love that. Losing family photos is often a loss that bothers people after a fire.
I don't think she has any family in the area. She seemed pretty lonely most of the time.
Go ask her if you can help out in any way. Maybe she’s a catch! Hehe
I agree atleast with the go ask what she needs part of comment lol but u never know !!!
And ignore it when she says she's fine and doesn't need anything. She's most likely proud and not used to asking others for help while she's the first one to line up when others need help. I like the suggestion of a Walmart gift card or any food-related gift card. At least with Walmart she can buy some basic clothing.
How should I approach the subject? She does seem to be proud and unlikely to take help without a fight.
Just tell her you knew that she was going to say that, and it doesn’t matter to you because you know she still needs help.
Perhaps you should pick her up and take her to Walmart, and offered to pay for some things for her. But give her a price limit. Then she can pick out think she likes herself, and it will be a bonding moment for you both.
She will never forget that kindness
So do you think that by now that not one person has brought her any clothes at all? Perhaps you should ask her? Doesn’t she have some family. Also, if that’s the only clothes that I had and somebody was offering to help me yes I would go to Walmart in my pajamas. All she has to do is pick out an outfit going to changing room and change right away into the new clothes. 😂🤣
I don't think she really knows anyone in the area. She moved here from another state. I'm just kind of worried logistically plus she'll probably feel embarrassed.
You could just buy her a greeting card - like an "I'm sorry" card or condolences or something (or just a blank card), stick the gift card inside, seal the envelope, hand it to her and leave before she gets a chance to open it. :)
Or, get her an amazon card - they deliver! So she can order clothes, get them delivered, then go out to get whatever she needs afterward.
I'm totally the same kind of gal. It's humbling to realize that you're the one that needs help. At some point we all need to put that aside and accept the help of our fellow man. I'm praying for her and you.
Would you feel comfortable meeting your neighbor in that state after everything happened?
Nope! But once I humbled myself and accepted the help, that person who met me at my worst would have my undying love and devotion
Is there anything I could do to help you feel like your normal strong self in that situation? I don't want her to feel awkward or anything.
Well she's old enough to be my mom so... no thanks lol. I'm sure a lot of the older guys here would like her though 😅
Offer to get her mail for her, and take it to her every few days. Also, I like the blanket idea, and gift card.
We lost everything in a fire 9 years ago. My husband and I and 6 kids were so overwhelmed with dealing with reporters, insurance agent and adjuster, going thru donations...most of which were the wrong sizes or stained or missing buttons, etc. People meant well and we totally appreciated everything. But, we had to rent a storage unit (unheated in freezing weather) and spent the first week, 10 to 12 hours a day, going thru box after box. I finally broke down crying because I'd been wearing the same bra and underwear all week (washed in the tub and hung every night ;) ) So, I would have appreciated a gift certificate or cash and a good friend to force me to go shopping and to lunch to chill out, a little sense of normalcy. Or, just ask her what she really needs the most right now.
We had apartment fire while the kids were small, we were out shopping for school supplies and came home to them putting out fire. Hub was over seas at the time, a few of the neighbors took care of the kids while I delt with the filling of forms for that night. Being mil, we were able to get a room at lodging on base for a few weeks but, that was still a pain, nice to have exchange and commissary across the street though. I would suggest like many have, GENERAL gift card "online one if she has access" or to a general goods store near her.. It was all the little personal care items that I was constantly doing without for those weeks (including medications) for myself more than the kids. Daughter got a lil stuffed bunny from neighbor that night, she held onto it for years after, her favorite stuff animal. heh. If she does speak to you listen to her words, can figure out what else she lost, we lose many items but, until you lose them all, dont realize how many you can actually do without and the few that you actually MISS having. lol.
Geez I'm so sorry that happened. Sounds like a nightmare.
Mypillow, robe, slippers, cash, offer to help.
Good ideas!
A gift card to a local store or hotel.
is her insurance paying for the hotel? if so, to a store! if you dont know id just do a store if she lost everything. even bowls and utensils/shower items if she's in a hotel that doesn't provide that or has shitty one use shampoos ya know
Gift cards to Target, Amazon, Or Visa gift card. You could start a GoFund me.
What do you think you would immediately want to buy?
I know she loved to jog everyday so she's definitely missing that
A blanket. Something soft and comforting.
Groceries
clothes
Toiletries
Food
A Bible because that can bring some hope.
Ask your church to help her.
Warm fuzzy pajamas so at least she's comfortable.
I wish I knew her sizes
You can probably guess a size if you get sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Maybe one with the Trump Punisher on it!
I always buy bigger. You're guaranteed to win.
Buy a medium. If it is too big, return for small. Too small, return for large.
Good of you, but really, the exact right thing to do. Does she have adult children watching out for her? Does she have anybody? A place to stay, etc.? Hopefully she had homeowners insurance (assuming that was her own home and not a rental.) If she was renting and didn't have renters insurance, that could be very bad so I sincerely hope that's not the case.
I honestly don't know what to tell you. Needing almost everything, what would be most important. Food, clothing, shelter. If she's got a place to stay, and IF she had insurance, then those things should be covered. In the meantime, some small gesture from you to let her know you care. Maybe something maga related? Wish I could be more helpful. I'm glad you're reaching out to her. If I think of something else, I'll come back to suggest it. Thanks for being a decent person.
Non female here, but I'll try anyway. I don't know what part of the country you're in, but maybe some a woman's winter coat and scarf, or basic clothes. Maybe a couple grocery bags with some basics and some tasty snacks. Or maybe take her out for a friendly dinner. She could probably use someone to chat with.
Some roses and chocolate. Just let her know you're not hitting on her.😉
Some gift cards to local restaurants since she probably has no place to cook. And microwave food gets old fast. Gift card to local grocery I spent 5 weeks in an extended stay hotel and having friends bring groceries made my life so much better. The hotel provided a delicious breakfast but the other meals were a challenge.
Prayers for your neighbor! Can someone start a local fund for her that people can contribute to so she can have funds to help her get back on track. We have a local bank in town and any time someone’s house burns down everyone pitches in on a Friday when they cash their checks. It’s amazing how much our little community comes together for people in need.
A Bible, Gym Shoes to jog in, gym socks. Work out clothes.
I wish I knew her sizes :(
A Bible!
Maybe just ask her what she needs and let her know she is in your prayers.
A home cooked meal. Maybe a bottle of wine. If you're married or that's weird i vite her over for dinner. Mow her lawn. It's not rocket science.
If she jogs, an inexpensive jogging outfit would likely be appreciated but a gift card to a place she likes might work better. If you have a local Shoe Carnival or Ross Dress for Less, Bealls, or Bealls Outlet stores, you can often find good deals on nice things there (and should be able to find gift cards there, as well) As a lady one of the reasons I literally hate clothes shopping (with anyone else) is I can try on one pair of pants in a size, they are too snug, then the same size different style or brand fits great. This is an experience I will only share with a few close family members or friends. Praying for your neighbor.
Also a diary would be helpful, an address book, and a copy of the Scriptures, for a person of faith.
I'm a woman in my 50s and I know what I would want in that situation: a lined journal (not a little one; full-size pages like the "Black n' Red" journals), a blue uniball micro pen, and a living flowering plant. The plant for hope and beauty, the journal to process the grief.
Gift cards for places that deliver. Only she, knows what she most wants. You could also take her to a good thrift shop for some clothes.
She sounds nice. Do you have an extra bedroom to offer her?
I live with my parents
You could offer her gift card to local grocery stores and other stores like TJ Maxx, Ross and Amazon.
I think that's what I'll do
Grocery store gift cards.
Gift card to Kohls or somewhere like that.
What would you buy?
Something for which it is easy to guess the size. Like a medium or a large shirt and sweat pants, socks and tennis shoes. Usually a 9 shoe will work for a 50 yo woman unless she is tiny. Better too big than too small.
She has to have something to wear while she goes shopping with your gift card.
You are so sweet.
I wonder if the other neighbors would chip in?
I'm kind of wondering how I can make her feel comfortable at first since she won't be able to get ready at all. She probably isn't used to people seeing her like that and I don't want her to be embarrassed.
If you just knock on the hotel door and don't try to visit, that will help. Just say something like, "Neighbors have each other's backs." Hand it to her, smile, and take off. She will appreciate that.
I love this community. You are a good person.
God bless you! Prayers up for your neighbor. 🙁
Amaxon gift card
You have gotten a lot of great ideas.I suggest a few gift cards to places where she could get clothes and other things she needs like Walmart, Target, Goodwill, grocery store, etc. A bouquet of flowers would be nice. Nothing fancy, a bunch to brighten her spirits. perhaps you can get her a Trump hat, a new Trump flag and even write Trump and let him know. Who knows, he could send her an autographed hat.
Take care of her yard area and see if she could give you a list and you would run to the store for her.
Talk to your parents and the other neighbors to see if you guys could work something out to help her get on her feet quickly. Knowing your neighbors are there in hard times makes good times sweeter.
I know very little about things like give send go, nor if you are allowed to plug one here, but it would seem, unsurprisingly, that there are a whole lot of caring people here. I damn sure ain't loaded, but I would contribute for sure.
Dittos
👍
So many great suggestions are being given. Gift cards for useful things are good, but I think money is the most useful.
For gift cards she would need transportation to get to the store or a computer to purchase items online. If anything is bought online, she needs to wait for it and have an address to receive it. She might need to purchase something that a particular store doesn't carry. She might need money for medications, etc. Perhaps the neighborhood could set up a fund for her.
Also, homemade food is always thoughtful and helpful. Perhaps your mom could make a casserole, prepare chicken or something else. Canned soup or meals are convenient.
You are right. Many people are very proud and sometimes decline help. I have told people who are like that, it would make ME feel better and happy if they accepted it. That usually works.
What a fine person you are. You are a ray of sunshine and humanity is this socially bleak world we live in. God Bless and Protect you, your family, this nice woman and the whole neighborhood. And never change. 🌷
Ask her to come join us here on GAW and let us support her mentally!