Was invited by two close friends to attend their church service today. The wife was singing in the choir. We met several years ago and met through an automotive enthusiast group and became friends. Laugh together, joke together...our personalities just meshed. Over the past year or so we have grown apart yet text each other out of the blue, etc. Last week was "Hey, come with us....and just listen."
I was raised Roman Catholic in the rural midwest. While I was not an alter boy, was part of the boys group of the church that did summer camp and some other get togethers. Around 10 years old or so, the priest took me under his wing, said he liked what he saw in me and wanted to help me learn the bible better.
That "learning" turned into almost four years of mental, physical and sexual abuse until I was close to 14. Came home crying one day and bleeding in my shorts. When I told my parents, their response was "what did you do wrong to upset the priest?"
From them on I just withdrew as I thought it was me that I did something wrong. I've carried that withdraw with me for many years. As soon as I was 16 and could legally drive, I was out the door and gone from all of it including God. Looking back, I repressed all of that hurt, anxiety and anger and in my mind, rightfully so.
After covid, I was camping (2022) with the couple that invited me today. The husband is a Marine and we were sitting around a campfire and drinking all night talking about life, spirituality and everything else under the stars. Feeling safe and losing some inhibition I opened up to him about my past experiences. Wife had already gone to bed and it was just him and me.
He shared his experiences in the sandbox in Iraq and I shared my experiences under the priest. Once that came out the conversation became awkward as we were both fairly lit and uncertain as to how to proceed. Crying and sobbing, he said all of this is terrible and I don't have all the answers, but I am searching for them. When I do I will let you know. We ended the night about 3am under the stars in a tear stained hug with each other "Nite bro, love ya" kind of thing. When the sun came up the next day, we acting as nothing was discussed, had breakfast and went our separate ways.
Now at the end of 2023 and two weeks ago I get a joint text with him and wife. Address, date and time and just says "I found the answer. Come with us and just listen...." Pulled up the address and it is a church. I responded back I'm not interested. Few days go by and get another text and a conversation starts. Eventually I agree and we met up at church today.
It is a non-denominational church, one of those rock band style churches. His wife does have a wonderful voice and it was great to see her sing.
The sermon was relating to Luke (will look this up) regarding Zechariah and Elizabeth unable to have a baby until an angel brought them a message from God. Unsure of all of that.
Went in extremely sceptical but halfway through I kind of got into it. During the sermon I felt something and a tear came down my eye. We shall see if I go back and continue this, but took a lot of courage from me to attend but was easy to do with my friends.
Without the pedes on here praising daily and reading those posts and messages, not sure I would have done so. I do feel like something has been missing from my life, perhaps church is it. Not sure and taking all with a grain of salt until in my mind I am sure.
Nonetheless, wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I am open to see where this path leads!
Oh frog…I am so sorry that happened to you.
Please don’t let an evil man’s deeds keep you from God. He can and will heal your mind, heart and soul. Many of us here have been broken by evil people, horrible/abusive parenting and/or bad circumstances.
As for myself, God showed up in my darkest moments. I am healed now. You can be too. I’ll be praying for you.
Amen
'Church' is not the missing part, although that fellowship could do you much good. Christ is the missing part.
Don't give up on God's best for you because of people's worst.
So sorry for these inexcusable abuses you suffered. So glad you had a persistent friend to invite you to greater things.
Merry Christmas.
Church is needed, but user6789 hits the nail on the head about Jesus being the major part. The church is nothing without Jesus. Church should be God honoring, not a place for pedophiles or pedophile type people to do their evil deeds.
May God give churches the ability to worship him and train up strong men and women for the Lord, and may he destroy the synagogues of satan that appear as churches that molest children and give a stamp of approval.
Came here to say this. Instead, I messed up your perfect 17 updoot score by raising it one.
What a beautifully honest post. Thank you for sharing it with us. GOD is going to change your life.
HEAVENLY FATHER we humbly come before YOU giving YOU all the glory, honor and praise due YOUR NAME. FATHER we asked that YOU heal our brother's mind, body, broken heart - cleanse his soul. Pour out miracles, signs and wonders without measure. Send YOUR holy warring angels and all angels of every ranking and division to surround and protect him and his family. Blind the enemy to them, LORD. We ask for these things and thank YOU in the MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS. Amen and Amen 🙏
Amen
God and Jesus love you, and that is the love that is missing. Do not let the past rob you of that love. I am sorry this happened to you and pray God guides your steps back. Merry Christmas to you and all your loved ones.
I’m so grateful to hear that you went to church, and you felt move by the Lord. I highly recommend continuing to fellowship with this couple, find yourself a women’s and men’s Bible study and get grounded in God’s word. We’re gonna need it… We are truly in a battle against good and evil.
I’m so sorry you went through what you went through, but that had nothing to do with Jesus! I hope that you can move past all of that, and enter into the joy of the Lord. Jesus loves you so much, and would love to have a personal relationship with you. And your wife.
Start reading the Bible every day. One psalms, and one proverbs. It’s not a big ask, but you’ll really begin to grow in the lord and know what he wants for your life. I’m so happy for you both.
May the Lord bless you, and keep you and make his face shine upon you and give you peace!
The Message Bible online is great for newbies. Proverbs and Psalms. Great advice. My heart really goes out to you. May you find the peace, joy, love, comfort, assurance and wisdom that all come into you when you have a personal relationship with the One who created you and loves you. I will be praying for you all day today that this journey continues. I feel you are in good hands with this couple. Above all, trust your gut. It will show you loud and clear if something is not right. We all love you here on GAW. Continue to ask questions and we’ll answer them. Love from Georgia.
Oh honey church is not your answer, it’s Jesus. Only he can take a broken tattered mess of a life and make it beautiful. Slow steps and get to know him on your personal level. You will not be sorry . Merry Christmas ❤️🎄🙏🏻
"Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20. Yes, you CAN find Jesus in church. YES, He does touch people there-- if the Church is part of the Body of Christ.
Of course he does touch people in church, I go to church. But my personal relationship with him is just that, it’s personal. The church is great for assembling and fellowship with like minded saints, but I believe the reference to finding life’s answer is church is not true, life’s answer is Jesus Christ. Just going to church is not a relationship. Some of the meanest people I’ve known go to church every time the doors are open, but they don’t display any fruit. I love my church family, but that church family is not my relationship with Christ.
I echo what user6789 said below. Jesus is the only One that saves you from your sin. He is the Perfect One - all the rest of us have sinned and fall way short of God's glory. So whatever bad experiences you may have had with people, I urge you to turn your attention to Jesus Christ - accept Him as the living Son of God and claim your eternal home in heaven with Him. Forgive those that have trespassed against you and seek to follow the Lord's perfect example in your daily life. Read the Bible and pray daily asking Him to help you - you'll be amazed at what happens when you trust and obey Him. God bless you.
John 10:10 .. the devil comes to rob kill and destroy, Jesus came so you can have life and life more abundantly . The devil cane to rob you of your innocence, kill your mental health and destroy your relationship with Him ! I have also been through horror that at the time blamed God .. I’m so grateful that I learned the truth .. we have an enemy who hates us because we were made in the image of God ..the devil also wants to hurt God .. nothing hurts a father more then when his kids are hurt . Please know that God our father is pursuing you , he has for years but you were not able to hear his voice or feel His presence! You did today , thank God ! God wants to heal what the devil did to you and He can if you allow Him ! Please keep going with your friends , there will come a day when you will be healed as if it never happened . I understand how hard that is to believe but it’s true . My heart breaks for the sick hell that you have been through , this is a tough situation that we can never get through in our own might ! Jesus is right there trying to take your hurt away and heal you. Please make this year the last year that you suffer with the unthinkable pain that you have endured all these years . Keep going back or atleast talk to Jesus as if He was in front of you looking at you and listening ,, because He is . You’re on your way my to freedom friend , I’m so happy for you !
I'm glad you went. Keep going back and seeking answers. You'll be glad you did. ❤
Thanks, Becky! The couple called this afternoon to wish me a Merry Christmas and I told them I am coming with them next week. Here we go!
People would be surprised @ just how many children are victims of sexual abuse. Many people will not talk about it, or have walled it away.
The abusers need to be dealt with in a way that insures they can never hurt another child again, and sorry, but castration doesn't always work.
I was going to name all the pistol and rifle cartridges that could kill a man, but there's SO many. Any one of those would work as well. Make Pedos Afraid Again
Absolutely not ! Braindead and me were just saying the same thing on another post ,, they need to be given an opportunity to be saved and then off they go . Period !
Plenty of chance to be saved during their trial and while awaiting execution. As a surviving victim, I would have no problem at all throwing the switch, pulling the lever, or pushing the button on the perps that ruined my life.
I’d be right there with you , , death should always be the quote punishment ,, that word ( punishment ) for these monsters doesn’t work for me it is not strong enough . I pray that someday this happens , immediate death , no waiting just on to the next . One chance to be saved and that’s it .
I couldn't be a police because in the case of someone caught in the act I'd just shoot.
Me too !
Absoulutly, they need to be sent out of this world , there choice where to go from here but they have to go , period !
Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm so sorry this happened to you.
That priest (and thousands like him) have done a great job representing darkness, while masquerading as the Body of Christ.
Jesus himself said this in John 13:34-35 (The Passion Translation):
“So I give you now a new commandment: Love each other just as much as I have loved you. For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you’re my true followers.”
Jesus demonstrated his own love for us by laying down his life for us, the most unselfish thing possible.
What you experienced is the polar opposite; probably one of the most selfish things possible. By Jesus' own litmus test, that priest was not a true follower of Jesus.
I applaud your courage taking the step that you did today, I know how real that pain can be and the barriers it installs. I encourage you to just say a simple prayer "Jesus, if you're as good and loving as the Bible says you are, would you show me?"
He'll take care of the rest.
i've also been going to church....first time ever. mine is a fantstic fit for me. it is a perfect church. I had been looking for a few years, and encountered this one purely miraculously.
i'm someone who has found a lot of "answers"... even ones that i still trust. but it was always just up to me to interpret and apply the answers. now I have a community that insists on maintaining a spiritual mindset, and i think that may be what has missing for me.
i'll report back in a year and let you know.
Good for you. God is in more places than the church, but if He is in your church, it and the community of other good and faithful seekers there will be a wonderful place. God bless.
A good church is a fantastic miracle. I pray that God would build people up to make more churches good churches. I know they won't be perfect, but they should try.
Those who are evil within churches need to be made afraid of those who seek to do good in church. Like Jordan Peterson or Nick Freitas say, men who are good need to have the strength of a monster, yet act like honorable men. We have to many spineless people, men in particular, running around.
Not saying this to offend women, but take 2 average people, one man one woman into a boxing ring... it will not end well for the woman. Clearly our opposition has no moral standing, nor do they care about the truth, there's really nothing outside of fear that represses their evil intention. We must make them afraid that we will not back down. IF they fight against us, we will not go down without a fight, and that fight will be very hard for them. This is the strength we need now, and always if we are to defend good and right things.
look, we have a downdooter... triggered some heathen.
my church is relatively new, about a decade old. but it is growing fast, and i believe it will lead to more real churches being created.
it may be a bit aesthetically unfamiliar for some... but what they do exceedingly well there is facilitate a relationship with God. It is all about Scripture, but even moreso it is about Spirit. In that sense it is as real as it gets. just awesome.
I didn’t downvote fren.
i know that, fren! they got your post as well!
👍
Thank you 15th! It is a new mindset and I am definitely open.
Hey brother, for those saying church isn't the answer, Jesus is...Jesus died for His church. It's all synonymous (or should be).
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
I have been a bible teacher for almost 15 years now. So if you would like any scripture or explanation of scripture (I have about 13 different commentary's starting back in 1870) send me a message and I'd be more than happy to take the time for you.
God bless you and I will pray for you tonight.
-My mom and her side were all catholic and had the same experience you did and I'm very sorry about that and I pray those wounds make you stronger and the scars will help you save yourself and others.
Thank you Aces!
You're very welcome! I love teaching scriptures It's the only thing in this world that I have found to truly make sense.
God is touching you where you need it. Your heart. You are not alone. I'm sorry what happened and I left church too because of what they did to you.
I'm in my journey back too in my own way. It's been great. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ❤️🎄
I am so sorry. This is something that absolutely scars you, even after you think you have put it in your past. The worst part are parents' believing the other adult instead of us.
That said. God can & does heal my friend. Regardless of the denomination (I found mine through lots of prayer & a broken road), I am glad you are coming back to our Father in Heaven.
Every church has the potential for these terrible things & every member needs to be dillegent in keeping children safe. Predators know that they will easily be trusted by their followers in a religious setting, so it is a place for them to seek out their perverse acts. This isn't a church, it is a predator that sleeping watchmen failed to warn about. In time, if you choose, you will be able to detect those wolves in the holy cloth/robes & call them out. I am so grateful I have been able to save my nieces & nephews from similar pain due to being more aware of these guys having been there myself. We just know some of those subtle things to look for because it is something we never wanted to experience again.
This friend is a precious gift & certainly loves you. Stay close to them. I love you & hope you find the healing you need too
edit: Typo our>out
Excellent post
The Gospel of Luke chapter 1 was the part of the Bible you referenced. Jesus seems to be calling. Seek Him out and you'll find Him. He is the healer. God bless your journey fren!
Luke chapter 1....thank you friend. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!!!
Let go and let God into your life, fren. He can make you whole again.
Blessings to you and Merry Christmas!
🙏💕
Cool
:)
The Holy Spirit is drawing you to Him. He won't give up on you either bro. May God bless you fren.
All churches can become corrupted and evil. The Orthodox church is the most uncorrupted church in the world, their teachings are from the true apostolic founders, the Church of Christ. Don't forget to pick up your Holy Bible. Watch out for "charismatic" churches! 🫂
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. (Matthew 7:15) ☦️
https://youtu.be/sn20pr5jBu4
https://youtube.com/shorts/fj5_TnWrkfw
https://youtu.be/AJF6FUGs9kg
https://youtube.com/shorts/Bss4_-S6dgQ
https://youtu.be/st0JsDKpcI8
https://youtu.be/8ky9eTKJnto
https://youtu.be/6AlOJ4MvbtQ
I have faith that our Lord Christ will heal you and your suffering. Seek forgiveness and repentance from our Lord Christ. God Bless you and Merry Christmas! ❤️
Who is doing down votes on a post like this? Some people REALLY need to get a life!
God bless you fren. Christ loves us all to a level we cannot fathom. Accept Christ as your savior and he will do great work in your life at fixing you. I’m living proof of this as I’m sure many others are as well. I’m glad the Holy Spirit is knocking at your heart. May your wounds be healed by Christ’s sacrifice fren.
Love you too bro, for real. God sent you (here) for a reason, the same reasons we are all here anticipating the answers to. Biblical even. Meantime we have each other, like-minded patriots, to lean on as we chosen soldiers forge on battling darkness with the inevitable ending of- God wins.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Your post was so articulate and thoughtful, you are gifted. Thank you for sharing your heart and you have our prayers. That is great courage you are showing. I believe God is calling you, but He will go as slow as you need. He is trustworthy when others fail us so terribly.
There is healing in His wings. I know that for a fact.
I’m so sorry you were abused by a priest. It breaks my heart to hear it.
Truly you just need to believe in Him. Have a strong relationship with Him. Churches are man made and made up of imperfect sinners including the clergy. Going to a church should be about mentoring to others and being mentored by them. Join a church where you are comfortable. But put your faith in Him first and foremost.
Having been raised Roman Catholic myself I went on and off to church. I went back when I couldn’t conceive. Was able to adopt my only child from Catholic Charities. She’s been a blessing to both of us ever since.
I stopped going again in 2011 when I lived in NY. We had a very liberal church and Bishop. As a conservative I felt the church had left me . I questioned my priest on things I saw were liberal concepts. Prayers for global warming, having a social justice committee, even having an organist who dressed in women’s clothing. If that wasn’t enough. My final straw was when we were solicited for money for illegal migrants.
I moved to the Bible Belt in 2015. I started taking up lessons at a bible study group in my local community. The man who taught used to be Roman Catholic. He became a Baptist. His readings made me decide to go back to church. I thought of joining the Baptist Church but realized it didn’t matter where I went just needed to find a church I felt comfortable going. The funny thing is there was another couple who used to be Baptists in our group and they both became Catholic. We had all denominations in attendance.
I decided to try out our local Catholic Church first bc it is what I was familiar with. I was overwhelmed by the welcome I had at this tiny little church in the Bible Belt of the South. I joined it and it was a great decision for me. I am now an active member who sings in the choir. We have an active women’s group that does charity has socials and helps put our church when needed. We have a large group men are in the Knights of Columbus and they are very active.
Needless to say I am happy here as this is a more conservative Catholic Church where our members support one another.
I hope you find a church where you feel the same regardless of the denomination.
Takes a lot to write that down and get it off your chest.
God's infinite love can wash the hurt and pain so clean that some day, any day now, you will be spotless. Opening yourself to Him is a needful step, and it seems you have done that. He works miracles, and He loves you. What you have felt is real. Hold on to that assurance.
Thank you for letting our community be a part of your way back to God who heals and restores, and for including us in your path to recovery and restoration. He has no limits, for with Him nothing is impossible, and His love is more than sufficient for all that any of us need, including you.
God bless.
Thank you Mr_A and Merry Christmas!
I'm sorry you experienced those horrific abuses when you were a child.😢 I think you are on the right track to healing and God can help you with that. May you find the peace your soul so deserves. Love and God bless, AngelCole
I remember hearing the same thing on a 60 min show or something like that a long time ago around the late 90's i think,it was about the priests in a neighborhood church up north like NY maybe don't remember exactly,but anyway,the results were the same in the beginning ,it was like the parents blamed the kids so everyone just kept their mouth shut until it kept happening and the parents finally woke up,with all that said Unruly ,its not the church,most are like little cults IMO, It's TRUST that has been missing,from your parents to the priest and the church itself,before everyone attacks me on here,not all churches are bad if you find a good one like Branch Davidian or Heaven's Gate,just kidding.you can Trust in God ,people however will take time,Merry Christmas Fren.
My fren, I am so sorry about what was done to you by evil masquerading as good. I pray that you find God again and find peace in Him. Merry Christmas!
I'm so happy you went! Former addict and general shit here because of abuse. I found God and its been a huge huge blessing to me! I never wanted anything to do with Him, but I was wrong to blame God for the evils of humans.
When I meditate on my ongoing, conscious, living relationship with God/Universal Intelligence/the Divine I notice that forgiveness and letting God's justice prevail takes a tremendous burden from my heart, soul and mind.
Great faith must be cultivated after deep sorrows and experiences of abuse and neglect by the very people who were supposed to protect us. Even now as a collective we are witnessing and experiencing this abuse by the cabal. The very ones who say they are here for our good.
I believe this is why so many are now turning to God for a closer, more personal relationship. The strength of that relationship is the personal and planetary fulfillment of God's dream for us, a life of Happiness, Love, Abundance, Creativity and Harmony.
There is nothing more important than developing and sustaining your connection to the Divine. Which is within. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Welcome Home unruly. God has missed you. ❤️
Brother, what wonderful honesty. God bless you, and may the Lord continue to work on you, through you. I'm with you all the way.
WWG1WGA
Thanks bro and Merry Christmas!
You were so brave to open up to your friend! Shame on your parents for asking what you did!! That is a stumbling block that makes it hard to move forward. I believe it’s the shock of feeling like our church leaders are ‘above sin’ and in order for them to sin we must have somehow caused it. It’s not fair to thousands of victims.
I went through a similar experience but with my father. When my mother found out I was 30. Her response was ‘well, it took 30 years for this to come out so it’ll probably take 30 more years for the ‘truth’ to come out.’ (Or something similar to that). It’s earth shattering when someone (who is supposed to love you more than life) says that to you. I’m happy to say that I had Jesus on my side. He helped heal my broken heart & I'm complete today, in my Savior, Lord Jesus’ arms. I wasn’t ever able to work through this pain with the help of my mother but I soon realized she was as sick as my father. My husband & my siblings were my support, but it was Jesus who healed my broken heart.
God bless your journey, unruly. Please seek God & know that only He can heal you from the pain you experienced. He wants us to be complete and in Him we can truly be healed. My favorite bible verse that I clung (cling) to every day was Isaiah 53:5 - He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Find your verse, memorize it & cling to it. God will show it to you. Amen, friend. You are loved.
Thanks, Jewel! I'm so sorry you went thru something similar. During the church service, I think what I felt was love. Hard to tell as it has been a long time since I felt that way. I am going to continue this journey and hopefully come out better on the other side.
You will come out better! I got involved in my church and then started attending Bible Study Fellowship (BSF.org) It’s an international weekly Bible study with men and women’s groups. It’s truly been such a blessing in my life & has helped me not only learn the Bible but has helped me heal. Jesus doesn’t want us to feel broken. He wants to give us new life so we can share the gospel with others. You are definitely on your way. Gods blessings on your life, unruly.
It's sad to see that many churches have abandoned their calling to God. Many people have lost sight of a church that can provide truth when they violate their own beliefs. The hardest thing for me to understand is how the catholic church turns a blind eye towards truly punishing the sick individuals who do this.
I grew up in a church, I've always believed in God, so I understand that my view may be skewed. I believe in the gospel, it is powerful. No person is without sin, though there are some heinous sins that even happen within good churches. Unfortunately, that seems to cement opinion against churches, but reading through the scriptures, it assures us of the need of it. The church is a place where you ought to hear the truth, even if it's painful.
The preacher / church should do these things, or I would continue my search:
1. Preach the truth of the gospel (and with clarity, not muddying the waters)
2. Preach in love and compassion (we are all guilty, but the blood of Christ covers our stains with his love)
3. Preach the "whole of the Bible" (term found within the Bible), if they don't accept the whole of the Bible... it just doesn't make any sense (to me).
4. Embrace you as a part of the family of God (I'm not saying you will be absorbed into people's friend groups day one, but it shouldn't be cold shoulder treatment, you may have to be outgoing).
Sorry it's so long of a reply, much brotherly love and affection, as well as an even larger measure of grace upon you for gospel healing for your soul and the (unfortunately) many who are in your position. May God bless you my friend.