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Yes, I Have Survived the Ordeal. I Have Traversed the Desert of Unhingement & Lived To Tell The Tale. The Thief, Now Caught, has (Apparently) Returned the Diamonds.
posted ago by FractalizingIron ago by FractalizingIron +178 / -0

Pepe test. Stand by.

Edit: whew.

For days beyond count now, I haven't been sleeping well. My cortisol levels have been hitting the roof, and my family began to comment on my haggard looks. The stress, yeah, the trauma, has been well nigh unbearable.

Why, you ask? Oh, my pepe. The newly assigned pepe was not the pepe I was looking for. ("These are not the pepes you are looking for...." <waves hand in jedi gesture of a mind wipe>)

What a wilderness of unpepeness I have had to cross. In the words of that old, heartful spiritual:

Where, oh where has my pepe frog gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? With his shades so cool and his shirt so blue, oh where, oh where can he be?

Yes, little did I realize, how much he and I had become attached. We have become akin to the proverbial 'two sides of the same coin'. In my mind's eye, my true pepe has become, nay IS, my alter ego, my mantra, my online Artemis II (kek) for sojourning through the distant and lofty halls of the Greatawakening dot win.

Oh, how little did I understand, until that fateful day when.... he was gone. When ... <wipes a tear> I was gone. That accursed day when I arose one morning, logged in to The Board and found I had been transformed into a weird and foreign reincarnation, a medieval frog of sorts, a new personality.

The psychological ordeal was palpable. "Is this really me?" I would ask. "Am I this? Is this who I am? Why do I feel so disconnected, almost alienated from my true, inner frog (as per the (evil) Marxist doctrine which exploits lesser emotions and fears)? Is this some bad trip I am on? What sort of psyop devilry have I encountered?"

And, where once I felt resilient, popcorned up to the eyeballs, all of a sudden my world was dashed to pieces. I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized myself. Is this really who I am? Oh, wake me from this nightmarish unreality!!!

SPDS is not a joke, and OPIDS is worse

Those of you who have suffered from SPDS know what I am talking about. Sudden Pepe Deficiency Syndrome is not a laughing matter. And, sure, maybe your pepe was replaced or even augmented with another frog (albeit not of your making or choosing), but in terms of what once was, you knew that you had been unburdened by what has been. You graduated SPDS and went into full-blown OPIDS.

Me? I held on, each day, hoping it was all a bad dream. I tightened my froggy belt, and determined I must seek out the reigning Modgods on Mt. GAW Olympus. What, oh what, oh why? My pepe? Huh? Who did this? In those importal words of Tudor the Turtle: "Help me, Mr. Wizard!!!"

But today a new day has dawned. Inexplicably, the world is somehow back to normal. My popcorny self has returned, and the fever dream is broken. My alter-ego, my true inner self, has been restored. Praise Kekdom!!! Once again, I can sigh with relief, knowing that all is right with the world (er, aside from everything that isn't, but that's another story altogether).

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, they say. And yes, I came this close <gestures: whisper thin, with thumb and index finger barely apart> to an ignoble, OPIDS death. As I look back now, I think I can testify that it was only my unwavering faith in Kek and the buoyant, moral support and camaraderie of my fellow GAW frogonians that kept me alive (I mean, in the virtual sense). Yes, miracles can happen, and I am indebted to you all.

TLDR: I'm back, baby!

Note: I am not without compassion. I understand that for those of you who were newly outfitted with a spanking new GAW pepe, the sudden reversal of fortunes may tempt you down the road of despair. But be strong, and of good faith. Pepe comes to those who persevere. Overcome, and rise victorious! Your day will surely come, again, Mods willing.

Until that day, I remain, Ironically, Fractalizingly, yours. <sheds tear of emotion>

OPIDS: Original Pepe Identity Deficiency Syndrome

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