Months ago, when the whole jab thing started, my mother and father in law were determined to get it, because TV told them so.
I advised them not to, and that they are going to damage themselves, multiple times, I event told them about how I ended paralised for a month as a kid when I received vaccine back then... Nothing... They went and did it. 3 times. So after that I basically told them I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Now my father in law, months later, as expected, got a serious pneumonia, lost ability to walk, or even sit in bed, lost control of his bowel movements, and ability to talk, so we are taking care of him the best we could trying not to loose our minds in the process... Showing up with a smile, trying to make their life easier, paying for bills, paying for medication, paying for diapers, and food, clipping his toe nails, cutting his hair and beard, changing diapers...
So on top of all that, wife and I were "politely asked" last night to respect my brother in law more, since he feels that "a lot is depending on him". Same brother in law who was organising excursions with the rest of the family to go for a group testing, to see what might be wrong with them... The same guy who cannot lift a bed matrace without having 2 people help him, while wife and I are the ones carrying his immobilised father around... Same guys who can buy both wife and me with his salary but is paying way less for their bad decisions, and the first thing he came to us with was "how are we going to divide the expanses"...
So I snapped, and yelled my lungs off. So my brother in laws, hypochondriac ass was insisting on them getting jabbed. They did it and we are stoically dealing with the damage made, because they are our parents. And I am accused that I am not "respecting" him enough by not being knowledgeable in ins and outs of hospitals and doctors and procedures and not getting the ideas "first" about where to drag the patient, next...
I am not proud of myself, my friends. I did not have "I told you so" moment at any point there. But I think that even the neighbors in next building heard about the boundaries that they will never be allowed to fucking cross with me...
The messed up thing is that I feel like a piece of shit, now, for allowing myself to go full dark mode.
dude best express yourself.....
well done
I couldn't agree more. Apparently they had no qualms telling everyone else what they should do.
Sorry about the father-in-law, I'll say prayers for you and family.
Same, I’m sorry that is the issue in many families they made the decision yet it will be us to carry it. They won’t make the connection either with the jab ... I hear it from my sister they feel like crap, yet won’t blame it.
Blaming the Vax is blaming themselves. Weak people don't take responsibility. They do take vaxxes tho.
This 100%.
"Weak people don't take responsibility."
That statement is so true that weak people will pretend to agree with it while not knowing it applies to them.
This also apply’s to if they voted for this pos administration, many won’t own to making a huge mistake to either.
I think its necessary to let it come out at times and let pieces fall where they may. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.
Yep. Real family hugs it out. If they didn’t get vaxxed cuz of you and then the dude gets mad at you? Fair enough. Hug it out.
Not saying shit puts the burden on you x 10
What a story I'm sure many can relate to. What wonderful in-laws you are!
The biological family is so lucky to have you and your help.
You should put all your expenses forward explaining that the rest of your money is to care for your own parents. Explain you do not expect them to take care of your parents monetarily or physically.
If they don't want your help they are free to ask you to go away.
Did they not realize all you have done that you have written here even though they are witness to it all.
When we lose our parents kids go crazy that is normal!
Perhaps if you took a step back, they would realize your value and how much help that you gave to the family.
Sounds like you reached your limit and burst. You should be proud that you held yourself back until now. But don't ever regret establishing your limits and boundaries when someone insists on trampling on them.
Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. Sending prayers to you and your family fren. 🙏🏻
There comes a point where you can’t internalize anymore, it isn’t healthy for you. These self-centered individuals need a wake up call. Unfortunately they probably aren’t putting two and two together, are still in denial. Your time is worth something too. So if your BIL isn’t contributing his time and energy, then he needs to contribute more financially. In the end you will have no regrets, you did what you could to inform them before, and you did what you could to help after their poor decisions. I am sure your FIL has regrets now.
Perfect. 🙏
Realize that you are setting for yourself a very high standard. By losing control you fell short. We are humans, with faults. Ask for God's forgiveness. Know that He forgives. Tomorrow is another day. You may even want to apologize for losing control, even while keeping your convictions. I have found that such an apology can, though not always, open hearts. Realize how and why you fell short of your expectations, and that's how you learn to become closer to who you want to be. God understands.
We've had a similar bad situation with family, only they were more conniving and destructive. I keep telling myself the only way to deal with these people is to have absolutely nothing to do with them. No face to face, no phone calls, no texts unless it's absolutely crucial and then limited to important information only.
I don't think you should be beating yourself up for losing your temper, I think you should commending yourself that it took so long. Just remember you're the good guy in this story.
I'm just trying to be decent person, you know. We pretty much over the years came to the same conclusion, every time we tried to be closer to brother in law and his wife, the tentacles reach into our life and start demanding that we have to behave in certain ways that are totally alien to us, and programming our time and putting expectations on us, while nothing is expected of them. So we find ourselves constantly expected to apologise and atone for the sins that we did not even aware we made. So strictly business relationship was a logical conclusion. But you cannot avoid them all the time, and they just cannot help themselves when they enter your orbit.
I know you're not just trying to be a decent person, you are a decent person. I would say if it's anything they say you have to do or should have done, you should ignore it.
👆 This!
Sometimes events are set in motion almost at a subconscious level. Their outward actions are no doubt an effort to protect their egos from past bad decisions, even to the point of perpetuating them.
Internally they must be riddled with self doubt. Just an odd observation, getting you to the point of yelling at them was, subconsciously what they wanted or needed. It might not change their behavior at all. But somehow they needed a moment of retribution.
Probably everyone will confess to being stressed and try to paper over the event. The past can’t be changed, only the present. You sound like a leader, can you take control of the situation now? Would it be possible for you to now lay out a schedule and responsibilities that are equitable?
I think the best thing you could do now is write out an apology for your angry outburst, but hold the line and state you are frustrated and disappointed in your family for not listening to you before they chose to take the vaccine and that now you feel that they are not carrying their fair share. Come prepared with metrics of time and money you have expended and ask what they have sacrificed and if they feel at all responsible for advocating on behalf of an experimental shot with no long term studies for a disease that is clearly very survivable.
I'm sorry it came to that and for their health. Some people can never be reached.
My friend. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed for who you are and what you believe in. You are brave, and not a piece of shit.
We’ve all lived long enough in silence. And I just realised doing so means we are part of the problem, feeding the mental illness that plagues society.
The last thing we need now is to be “respectful”. Fuck these cunts being high and almighty about whatever perversion and hypocrisy they live by and try and impose on us. It’s time we stop feeding these sheep being nothing but enablers.
Think Jesus smashing the tables of the desecrators. If anything they all need to be a lot more respectful of you since the unvaccinated will end up carrying the burden.
Well, that sucks fren. But, you have just as much right to express yourself as.others.
Maybe this will lead to better conversations in the future.
Bravo. Some people don't get the point by merely seeing what is being done; but by hearing what WAS done. Good for you and you should be happy that now everything is out in the open. God bless and don't let him run the show anymore. Prayers for your father-in-law.
We all have a breaking point and yours was crossed. The best thing you can do is just carry on helping with the care of your FIL. I help take care of MIL. She is 88 and has moderate dementia but is still able to live on her own with us living 5 mins away. I do a lot of cleaning of her house and property while husband takes care of the lawn and other maintenance. My SIL lives about 40 min away and tries to manage all of this by phone which isn't ideal and I reached my breaking point about the first of Feb, I took a month off and didn't go over. The house is still there needing to be cleaned but I needed a break. You do too, take a few weeks. It did me a world of good. Btw, bless you for helping take care of you FIL, many people wouldn't do the same, you are an angel.
Please don't feel badly. It was a pressure valve release moment. You and your wife are under tremendous pressure trying to do what is best for your father in law. Anyone who has ever been in the caregiver role empathizes 100%. You need your energy and focus on your father in law. Please don't waste any on feeling bad or listening to the noise around you. Keep moving forward. I will pray for peace in your heart and mind.
You and your wife are good people. The family doesn't realize how blessed they are to have you both. Stay true to your hearts and you will have no regrets.
Be proud of yourself. You are doing the best you can. Giving fools a swift kick in the ass from time to time is healthy for them.
I took care of both of my parents when they could no long do so for themselves. I've walked the walk, fren, and know where you're coming from, although having no siblings, I didn't have to deal with others. However, that meant I was on my own for most of it.
It's a tough job, fren, no two ways about it. You're doing the best you can with the knowledge you've got. It's hard. It's massively stressful -- because you feel like you have someone else's life in your hands...and you're not a doctor. You don't always know what you're doing or where to get the help you need. But, the key here is...you're doing it. Somehow, through the Grace of God, you're doing it.
Don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow isn't here yet. Focus on today, on this hour. Do what needs to be done now, at this moment. Everything else will come in its time. One day at a time, fren, one day at a time.
Yeah, you hit your limit, fren. Everyone does. Being a caregiver is hard, so cut yourself some slack. Yeah, you were angry, but it was a righteous anger. You tried to warn them and they didn't listen. Now, it's become your issue. You're allowed to have your say. Now, it's time to let it go and forgive yourself. You're only human. Tomorrow is another day.
May God grant you strength and the ability to carry on. He's always there when you need Him.
And, remember, you're doing this for your father-in-law. No one else matters.
God bless, fren.
Thank you so much, for these words. People and comments here give me back the faith in humanity
It's a hard row to hoe, fren, but one you won't later regret.
You will also find that in your darkest hour, there will be a spark of joy to lift you up. I had this happen to me while I was struggling to change my father's Depends. Not only was he bedridden, but he had dementia and couldn't always be reasoned with. He was fighting me tooth and nail to get it on. I no sooner had it on him when he went again and I had to start all over. This was late at night after a long day of taking care of him. I was thoroughly exhausted. I finally got a clean one on him and had him tucked into bed.
It was then that he looked up at me with the most angelic look on his face that you can possibly imagine. The next words playfully out of his mouth were, "Just call me Mr. Party Peter." Then he gave me a huge grin, like he knew he'd gotten one over on me. I couldn't help but bust a gut. It was totally out of the blue and hilarious.
God knows when you need a good laugh, fren. 😉
If what you wrote it true, it was good of you to help and I understand why you believed you had to. But at this point, I would suggest a step back. Bow out completely. No more helping. Since MIL and BIL seem to know all about what should and shouldn't be happening, let them have at it. I am serious. Let them make a mess of things the same way biden is making a mess of things. It's the only way some people will learn. In the meantime, recharge your batteries and catch up with your OWN life.
Sending prayers and big hugs. I know exactly what you are going through.
Look at all the lowlife scum that just love to play commissar and order everyone around and issue demands, despite their lives being an utter ruin. Don't apologize for taking wind out of their sails, it must be done and often.
I think it’s a good idea that you did what you did. If you would not put your foot down, and put a very firm boundary, they would’ve just kept pushing you and pushing you and pushing you… And worse could’ve happened.
Now that you’ve gotten everything off your chest by yelling, I suggest writing a clear and concise letter, laying out all of the issues you just told us. In detail.
It’s when things are in black-and-white, and written down on a piece of paper, that a person can go back to that letter U or the other, and refer to it. There’s no weaseling around topics, or anyone saying that you were angry when you had your outburst. Rightfully so you should be angry. Your response is appropriate to your situation. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.
But I do highly recommend getting your thoughts on paper, in advance, as things begin to deteriorate for your family member. The person who is pushing you, who has more finances in you, and doesn’t want to take any responsibility for what has happened, needs to be put on notice.
Coming up with a schedule in writing, finances in writing, and putting everything in black-and-white should help smooth things over, but also publish or perish.! If this other person has a better financial situation, then they should pay more than you. You should not feel bad about asking them to do that. Especially if it’s their own father.
You are in this thing by marriage, I shouldn’t have to feel the burden of financial responsibility for your wife’s father or her brothers father.
Do it… You’ll be glad that you did. Too many words are spoken these days. Writing things down, and having them in black and white makes a huge difference in the world.
In this video Reinette Senum and Dr. Tenpenny discuss how she informed anyone who took the shot that she warned them and not to expect any help from her when they get sick. https://www.bitchute.com/video/fhhNpDM9Ahwf/
I think you were fine and within your limits getting angry.
You are right, they are wrong.
it's not our job to save others - its our job to work on ourselves. IF someone is interested in getting healthy and is not brainwashed - by all means - help that person as much as you can without being overbearing. People would rather be FOOLED than have to ADMIT they WERE FOOLED. it's not easy...but it is simple.
Sounds to me like you got tired of being shit on for everything you tried warning them all about from the get-go.
Lemme just say, you put up with a hell of a lot more than i would have and the point you snapped was a nuke waiting to happen.
You can feel bad, but it aint your fault. All this is 100% on them. Come to grips you did what you could and went way beyond what many would do.
People often mistake kindness for weakness. That couldn’t be further from the truth. When people are good and decent, their kindness becomes expected rather than appreciated. And believe me, when you have your breaking point, the ones who already allowed to get away with their behaviors are in shock and awe when you push back. You set boundaries, don’t feel bad about that. Guilt is a self imposed feeling. You were pushed, you pushed back. It will take a little time to let the dust settle, from there, you will have set some new boundaries. Good for you!
Fuck dude, I'm proud of you. I did this once with a family member, my sisters all jumped in my shit but the person I chewed out took it to heart and changed. Also, told my sisters I was right and to leave me the fuck alone. I no longer hold back, never will. You get my mind if you drag me into your shit.
Bro, you're a Saint. Most people would have dumped him in a nursing home and called it a day bur not you. You and your wife will be rewarded for doing this. Not many people have what it takes to do this. Speaking your mind is perfectly understandable and allowed.
It's ok fren. Most of us have been there or have a hard time not saying anything. It's a lot. Hell im more stressed about having to go live around my normie family now that my husband doesn't want me around than i am that. Im not allowed to even speak of the vax killing my dad in december bc they wont hear of it. Theyd rather his sudden death be a mystery in their minds. I know im gonna lose it. We can relate and are always here for ya!
Right on. Yea my facial expressions always speak volumes. Can never hide it!! It's physically painful to try lol. I do joke often.....was just always that way but yea....hard around them. They are all very non-jokey now.....which is the complete opposite of how my brothers & i were raised. It's weird. Good tips tho.....needed the reminder!!
You are not alone mate. I am fucking holding myself from exploding just like you, towards my idiot piece of shit brother in law. Same advice, told my inlaws not to take the poison, and especially my brother in law. I hoped he would convince his parents not to. The idiot took it himself nevermind advising his parents. Fast forward, father in law had a collapsed episode where I spent 3 days taking him to hospitals. Thankfully he is fine now (well not as good as he used to be) and active. Brother in law, lives overseas and basically gives zero fucks for his parents. I even got paranoid to the point that everytime the phone rang from my in laws, I was about to hear the worse. Fucking outrageous. What scares me most, is your scenario (sorry for the blunt honesty). I dont think how I would handle it. I have a feeling that with time, (months) things wont look pretty. I hope it doesnt but it is a constant fear from inside I cant control. Educated useless piece of shit of a moron. This is waht happens when you happen to have an NPC for a brother in law.
The problem is the system you ( not the problem feels bad ) where the real problem ( them) feels that they are entitled to everything including the pity party. You did right and please don’t feel bad fill pride in yourself and know you are the better person !!
I’m real sorry. I know the burdens of caregiving well as my 10yr old daughter has special needs. You are doing a great job. The pharmaceutical industrial complex MAKES it hard on purpose. Don’t let haters piss on you.