Was invited by in laws for Christmas Eve dinner weeks in advance. They even invited my mom and grandma. They served us 3-4 day old meat from a dinner party they had days earlier. There was no new food prepared for us including even boiled vegetables being 3 days old. They are wealthy people as am I.
Are we wrong to feel disrespected by this?
Yes.
They wanted to spend time with you on Christmas Eve, and they invited you over. Sharing their Christmas Eve time with you is both love and respect.
That doesn't mean they are connoisseurs of social grace or haute cuisine. You aren't wrong to wish they had done a better job, but if they ate the same food they served you, it means they gave you the same respect they gave themselves.
Don't stress about it. If possible, next year or next appropriate occasion offer to have them over and show them how it's done.
"...if they ate the same food they served you, it means they gave you the same respect they gave themselves."
Yes. That's the important point.
These are wealthy high class people who went all out making a meal for my step mom’s family several days earlier and served us the leftovers. These people are definitely connoisseurs of haute cuisine. They served us 4 day old Peking duck that had been sliced and prepared for the other party and then frozen.
(Peking duck on Christmas Eve? Sounds Jewish to me...)
Not everybody who can afford good things appreciate them. And in some cases, the familiarity of leftovers shows greater trust and confidence in the relationship than an ostentatious show. It's even possible they were thinking "we lucked out with how divine that duck was! Hopefully it'll be just as good when we re-heat it on Christmas Eve!
That said, if you know their intentions and state of mind, and believe they intentionally slighted you, then go ahead and be offended. But being offended is an unhealthy state of mind to maintain for long. For your own well-being, you will have a happier time if you can brush it off.
In the end you can always trust other people to be themselves. If they are people who don't value your company and don't mind demonstrating their feelings, let them alone and spend your time with others that do. But if it's a one-time slip on their part, your life will be better if you can be forgiving.
Well said, c'est la vie.
4 day old left overs are a bit much. personally, with the dinner sounding to have a high fat content, I'd normally be worries about spoilage, but if it was frozen, it sounds like they at least tried to be concious of issues.
Likewise, serving a meal like that may have been less of a slight, if the step-mom's family is super snooty, they probably felt like they had no choice but to serve expensive fancy food friday number of reasons.
If you can feed someone left-overs, it typically means you're very comfortable with the person and you knowo that the person you're serving isn't gonna judge you.
Does it make it right? Depends on your situation. Did the food at least taste good? That would be my question.
I can't eat old food even at my own house. I don't even serve non-organic food, Lol! So, I totally get it. I think me and my husband would have pushed it around on our plates and made it look like we ate at least half of it! A funny memory at least! You'll never forget it. Forgive them and treat yourself to a fancy dinner tonight to make up for it!
Thank you for the reasonable and truthful response. I love the minds and hearts here. It's our responsibility to take the high road and lead our families to peace
That's why they are wealthy.
This, rich people are some of THE CHEAPEST fucking cunts in the world.
Rich people aren't rich because they give it all away (or blow it unnecessarily)
Yup. Gotta accumulate it somehow.
Worst tippers at restaurants too
Yes, you’re wrong to feel disrespected.
They invited you into their home, fed you a meal, and spent time with you.
You’re complaining because it wasn’t up to your standards. Maybe spending time with family is more important than what you eat while doing so.
Darlin' four day old leftovers aren't up to ANYONE's standards. Having food in the fridge doesn't mean it is still safe to eat. That meal was questionable at best.
My leftovers are lucky if they find themselves getting eaten within four days. Beef or chicken is often eaten at a week old within the family.
You might want to check into the food safety regulations for your state. They are easy to find (all servers have to study them).
Please consider that your family deserve the healthiest option for dining. Certainly better that provided by the least groovy local greasy spoon. OR consider freezing portions for later consumption.
You and your family deserve the BEST care.
If they ate it too I find no problem with it. It may be a bit tacky of them to serve leftovers to you and your family but we eat leftovers all the time here,
Agreed. Traditionally, big meals and holidays, it's always fresh food, especially when you have guests.
Be happy! It will drive them crazy. 😜
I live in a world of disrespect. I have no biological children (not by choice) and am the oldest/only female child with 3 brothers with controlling wives. We get the “leftover” time in everyone’s schedule, often completely forgotten we are actually family. I gave up years ago and it’s gotten a lot easier. I use to have holidays here, but as families grew, they quit coming. We have been married for decades and have carved out our own niche. I go where invited, spend time and move on. We celebrate holidays alone and meet with them at times they can fit us in and it’s OK.
similar situation here… accepting that I am not and will never be the center of their attention, has given me the freedom to enjoy my life the way I like. And get together with them as life allows. Having no children ourselves, my husband and I learned to go with the flow, and know that Christmas will never be like our childhood experiences, because you can’t create that without children. Or with siblings spouses calling the shots.
as my mom would say; can't get blood from a turnip...
sounds like they're kind of wacky,
so you can't expect them to be logical.
it's a waste of your time.
and wasting time is inefficient/wrong.
make such visits short & sweet, then have something good to eat at home🎄🎁
Some of us are not having Christmas dinner nor are invited to any family gatherings. Count your blessings fren !
This type of treatment is not a blessing.
If you are not invited anywhere, get out your toaster oven and MAKE Christmas dinner. While you're at it there is probably someone that would like to be invited to dine with you. It will make you both happy.
:o(
Yes. It's a poor showing on their part.
In some way yes. But they could’ve not invited you so look at the good in it.
You can come over today we will have some fresh food to share 😎
I feel sorry for you, this must have been an awful experience. And yes, it is disrespectful, unless there is a very good reason why they did not bother to cook.
Nope. IMHO.
Going out on a limb here,which one do you despise ,the MIL or the FIL or both,i'm picking up on a little nick picking here,i loved mine dearly and there all gone now ,i wouldn't give a shit what my MIL fead me, let me take a guess of your age ,under 40 or less?, anyway wait till there gone and see what they left you will speak Volumes.
Next time hit a McDonald's before you get there. But yes, what they did was low class. If they didn't want to bother they should not have invited people. Especially if the plan all along was to get rid of the leftovers that way. Very disrespectful.
A couple of years back we invited two neighbor couple for our traditional New Years eve fondue of lobster, beef filet and sides. It is expensive and took me 4 hours to prepare. The time came to start and one couple showed telling us the other couple would not be coming because they were feeling ill all day.
The other couple could have called much earlier and saved me time but did not. To this day they never acknowledged or said they were sorry.
Maybe next year you can invite them over to your place and order a bunch of pizza! 🍕
I’d rather have pizza, myself.
At least you get to have Christmas with your family…
Thats disgusting. But wealthy people are some of the most stingy people you will ever meet. Not all but some are. The stories of stingy, downright shitty people are common. Think of them as modern nobility without any nobility just elitism and selfishness. You have your dinner party. Like I said disgusting.
Please tell me they had a pet dog who begged you for food at the table.
And then they said "NO! Don't give the dog the food off of your plate! It will make him sick!!
That's just rich people being chicken shit. You are right to be offended.
No, you're not wrong. It's weird. But it's also Christmas, and in the scheme of things, Jesus is what matters. It's sad though, that inlaws would treat you and presumably your spouse this way. Did your spouse notice?
Are they usually stingy like that? Maybe they didn't want to waste anything even if it was a few days old?
You should have excused yourself for a minute and ordered door dash🤣🤣🤣
Maybe they're not as wealthy as the appearance they keep up.
On the other hand, I've known some penny pinching wealthy folk.
Regardless, does seem a touch trifling to invite guests for dinner and unload leftovers on em. I could see if it was an impromptu GTG and like, hey, lets eat our leftovers!
But what do I know, I seemingly have a break with reality kek
Did you guys bring anything?
You can easily make the case for both ways. Esp the fact that you were invited weeks in advance for the Christmas Eve suggests it was not to get rid of last minute left overs.
Also 3-4 day old meat - how did you know it was that old? Was it smelling? Tasted funny? It’s it decent then it means they took all precautions to serve you decent food.
Ultimately trust your instinct. There are no logic or rules you can use to determine this. Only you can know based on the sum total of your interactions with them.
What did you bring?
Don’t go next time, and let us know how that “tastes”…🤔
Prepare a couple cans of spam when they come over…lol, just kidding.
I would never accept another invite from them. If they are wealthy, then they have the money to prepare fresh foods.
Oh, I would definately accept another invite from them. One where I brought food, and hired staff to serve it. I'd ask at the table if the chairs were ok to sit in, but I'm petty like that. Would you like more of the Brisket? Another deviled egg? Smoked salmon?
Did they eat the same food? If so, it is a their family thing. I would only get pissed off if they didn’t eat the same thing or had a Christmas dinner the next day (if you could find out what they served for other relatives).
Personal question, is this some kind of payback? Do you ever invite them over for dinner? For some rich folk it’s because their less rich family don’t ever bother to invite them because they can’t compete & put out the spread that the richer folks can. Good food is not always expensive food.
I would decline all future dinner invitations around holidays & family events. Invite them for summer bbq.
both me and my wife are the black sheep of our families.
Our families are from Florida to California and far way from us. Be grateful in my opinion.
You showed up.
One time I went all out. Somehow a lot of my family was in town. I invited them over that day after Christmas and cooked a huge breakfast for about 30 people. The day before they agreed to come by in the morning.
No one showed up. My kids kept staring out the window. Yet I am the still the black sheep.
Be grateful you have wealth and so does your family. That is awesome.
I'm not a good cook so I might make some food item the day before just so I can taste it and see if it is ok to serve. Never more than the day before to give me a chance to make a replacement if needed.
I did have a wealthy friend who ordered her turkey from a restaurant but she complained it was so dry. I expect the restaurant cooked those turkeys days ahead just to reheat before delivery.
Be happy you have the best time slot.
My grandmother would invite us over to dinner and feed us leftovers all the time. I think it's generational... Like other people said, if they enjoyed it with you, and nobody got sick - be grateful they wanted to spend time with you - return the favor and invite them over to a good homecooked meal so they know your family eats well!