Oh lord help me lol.
Quick Background: HR hires em', then sends them to my account.
What Happened: So today I was in for a treat apparently. My new employee has arrived and I tell her where to go on the phone.
In walks a obvious lesbian, hair with homemade dyes of every color of the rainbow, pants baggier than most street kids and I'm not even kidding, an overwhelming smell of cat piss.
My underling who knows I'm based AF choked on his coffee and made a quick exit to his office and left me stranded to welcome this new employee lmao.
I'm not even kidding you guys, when we sat down to do paperwork, holy crap this was a shit show. EVERY single page had it's rounds, but the more notable ones I can remember were:
-Social Security #: "I don't want to give you it because it's a capitalist's tracking device."
-$1 a month to a well known Charity we do annual donations to: She marks "no". I ask why: "Your company makes millions of dollars a year and they can donate if they care so much, way more helpful than my dollar."
-Paid Holidays: She freaking crossed out Thanksgiving and wrote Indeginous People's Day
Guys lol, wish me luck on this one! I think I'm going to need it and A LOT of patience.
I'm betting her own work ethic will end her tenure quickly.
The lack of soc #, piss smell and unprofessional apparel should end it immediately.
Can't hire her if she won't give up the SSN. How did HR hire her? Don't you get to interview your own team? Talk to HR and say you need to be in the hiring process so you can build a team that will get along and work through issues.
Wow Well good luck getting this one there to start the day. Exactly you have to produce an ID or Drivers License and your actual SSN card for HR, they have to have that in your file.
This would be the immediate push to our "war zone" territory. She would quit before training is over.
Be careful. Document everything and assume she is going to sue you. I’ve seen it multiple times.
Unfortunately I know the drill. But yes, DOCUMENT everything for any new managers out there seeing this.
As someone who had to forward a list of emails for evidence to a corporate counsel in recent history to show a termination was just and for cause and not discrimination, yes document everything!
I almost jerked off to reading the response about the lawsuit.
Smell and appearance should be reason enough. Too many Damn lawyers in the world!
This!!
Fire the dumb bitch, stupidity has consequences.
Unfortunately it almost takes an act of congress to get fired at my job. I'm in a line if work that is severely hurting for more employees. All terminations have to get approved by HR which is only after A LOT of progressive discipline.
shes going to destroy your office environment and make everyone less productive.
The office cancer. Seen it many times.
ya, my companied hired a "they," and productive conversations cannot be had until the bowing to "they" and discussion of admiration for "they." And i work in medical. Clown world.
Be as open as you can about your views. Be her fascist capitalistic boogeyman.
That just gets him in hr sights
Ugh. In descending order, the most harmful, useless, and idiotic groups in any moderately sized organization:
HR - almost always predominantly women. Usually a higher concentration of black women, absolute lefty women,, and gay men.
Communications: again, women domiminate. Lefty mentality is nearly a given. Essentially marketing, but as org propaganda.
Marketing: again, almost all white women and gay men. (Real, effective marketing is usually done by outside agencies). Basically communications, but by extroverts.
(Exceptions prove the rule)
Nay, be the Baba Yaga in this, boogeymen abound... 😁
Put up a poster of TRUMP in your office
I had one of these. Kicked her off my job site cause the Injun kid didn't want to fuck her, and then again when she freaked out on the Injun kid. She never did get fired, she just stopped coming to work. Then about 3 months later I was on a job and she came at me with a crowbar, and I had to get STD tested cause I ended up getting bitten while restraining her.
Luckily Im 99.999% confident she only bats for her own team on that front. But thanks....you've really given me a lot to prepare for lmao!!
Bisexuality for those types are the in thing.
They're only gay until they find a dominanting man to spank them
No problem, you've always got to watch out for that crowbar coming for the back of your head when dealing with mental patients on the loose on a construction site lol.
Homosexuality is a mental illness
Fire yourself. Kek. I’m sure they already have her on the short list to replace you anyways. Let that place fail, your talents are useful elsewhere I’m sure!
I never had a problem firing people as long as I kept my documentation up and made sure to treat all employees equally.
And who knows? She may really want a job and do everything she can to keep it, in spite of her personal beliefs.
She crossed out thanksgiving and put Indian day i highly doubt that will be the case
Cat pee on clothes, first day....no. Even she could smell it and shop at a thrift store, use a laundry mat etc etc.
“Hi, let me offend you with sickening odor! Let’s get to work...”
I suggest you, claim allergies and request it shows sensitivity to your needs!!
Tell her you start every shift with a prayer and the pledge of allegiance. She'll be gone before lunch.
No... she'll file a law suit stating that you are creating a hostile work environment where she does not feel safe.
Believe me... I lived it!
Red hats help as well.
We'll see how it evolves but if that's the worst it gets I could totally live with it.
Corporate charities are a scam. We're on the Great Awakening forum and you're complaining about employees wising up to that fact? Fuck RED RED and the rest of them.
Companies shouldn't need your social (I get that you need it but she has a point, it was never supposed to be used for identification to begin with).
Paid holidays are paid holidays. Who cares what they're called? If I applied to a place and they had "Indigenous People's Day" I'd slash it and mark "Thanksgiving" too.
The cat piss smell...well..can't help with that one.
Yea, the charity thing is something I would say no to as well. I'd rather help my local community out than give my money to some strange org that claims to help the needy.
The ss # is for paycheck purpose...
This is a serious danger to your wellbeing. Do NOT be alone in any room with this creature.
ABSOLUTELY 💯 THIS!!!
Be very careful around her because she'll likely accuse you of racism, sexism or rape, just so she can take paid stress leave.
Be preemptive and report "their" onnoxious odor to HR. Send "them" a follow up email w/ cc to HR to document every negative work related interaction.
Try to find a redeeming quality.
I've met people like her and they almost always have a very sad childhood. I've been able to bite my lip knowing their views come from experiences that are different than mine and truly sad. We are the tolerant party, right?
All that said, their anger and combativeness, is exhausting.
By "they" I mean the people I have met that fit the colorful hair, chubby, sloppy, lazy, stinky, cat loving liberal that walked into your place of work. Good luck.
Thank you. I guess it probably wasn't in good conscience to post this because I have lose site of that over this past year seeing these types of people daily in the news, but I do know myself and easily do not let my views influence my decisions at work. She will have the same treatment as everyone else.
I have a friend who is extremely liberal, but this new employee is the closest person I know who is probably more than likely an actual Antifa member level of liberal so I am curious to see what the future holds.
In all the back and forth with her today, I do have to admit I respected that she didn't give AF about looking crazy and we shared a lot of laughs trying to get through all of the paperwork. And she could hold a conversation really well.
Red-pill her, we need some crazies on our side lol
I love that even with all the crazy, you were able to find something to appreciate about her🐸
Good call. No matter how much I disagree with the way that other people dress and think, it is none of my business. If she can do the job and not bring disruptive personal issues then she deserves to be treated like any other employee. If not, well solution is obvious.
Check for cameras and witnesses first. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Ugh, I’ve watched some of those videos and how easily those jaws make mince meat of thick metal. I can’t imagine falling into one of those, especially feet first when you feel it the worst and longest.
That reminds me, its been a long time since I saw Fargo...🐸
Fire the HR rep
Yeah, they knew exactly what they did.
She's probably on reddit right now complaining about you being an absolute fascist something or other, and complaining about pronouns. God bless you with patience, keep us updated, I feel a possible screenplay out of your adventures with the libtard.
Drug test her. That's a telltale sign of a tweaker.
Pot smells more like a skunk, meth actually legit smells like cat piss
You have my sympathy!!! I'm dealing with the same thing. I don't have the constraints that you do with firing someone but I know from past experience to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.. date / time / content etc. It's exhausting but vital.
I had two other employees that I fired for cause.. their worked sucked, they showed up when they wanted to show up, spent the day reading entertainment blogs, etc. As soon as they were fired, we got slapped with a discrimination suit. Fortunately, I had all my notebooks and all every email sent after a verbal conversation that began ".. to reiterate our recent conversation".
The problem is, in my position as a director, I am held to a "higher standard" .. and can't challenge views or even be open about mine. It's exhausting
It is insane how much time is required to document everything, all that time wasted that should be put towards team growth & client's needs.
Though it makes things easy when you are ready to pull that trigger.
Step 1) fire the hr person that hired them.
Fire her and hire me. I’ll need help with work visa but after that you won’t here one complaint other then trump won…. :D
You need to give her written warnings for absolutely everything she does against company policy. And keep your mouth shut completely about your politics. Write that bitch up for EVERYTHING and keep tidy records. Boot her ass out as soon as possible. Trust me, she will make problems for you and the company Edit: I got fired up and wrote this before seeing the many responses saying the same. Sorry
Indigenous peoples day is supposed to be Columbus Day, not Thanksgiving
No worries, I am sure this person has taken the vax and all boosters, chances are this person may be dead soon. Not saying it to be mean, just being honest.
You can't report earnings and deductions to IRS without SS number. 941 and all that..
I got it eventually and not like HR didn't already have it. This entire thing took 3 hours when it usually only takes 1 hour to do.
Get used to that shit. Not gonna be the only time.
Did you give your pronouns?😂
Oh my God!? When I said "You must be #####" she replied yes, but I go by "####" which was not even remotely similar to her real name, but I was still trying to get over her appearance at that moment and didn't think about it then.
That means, I used her pronoun the entire time!?!? Nooooooooooo
If you live in a state like FL, fire her immediately. FL is a "Right to work" State, but among that the employee OR the employer can terminate the job at any time, for any reason, with no advance warning, as long as it doesn't violate civil rights. Just tell her "this isn't going to work out. Your services are no longer needed." If need be, start writing her up. She defaced company paperwork and refuses to give you her SSN? In violation of the Federal Income tax laws? That's grounds for termination. Time to fire her ass and let HR know that they can't be hiring people like that.
Yes, all of that.
Make sure your business has fire insurance
Who’s the idiot that hired her. That’s what I would like to know
Hahahah
Enjoy the shit show! Sounds like you have a front row seat.
So how hard will you laugh when she gets arrested if/when Antifa gets officially declared a terrorist org?
Lol, that is nuts. Bold of her to say all of that. How in the heck did she get through the interview process. I thought St. Jude was a fraud?
Why?
"Progress" from the top down.
Yep, probably due to some “diversity and inclusion” director
Gotchya
Isn’t she just doing her thing, to stay on welfare?
repeat after me:
"i don't know how we are going to get by around here without you... but we are going to start trying tomorrow".
Try to redpill her! Very, very subtly of course, bc the koolaid-hair pronoun ppl are quick to take ppl to HR
I'm not a miracle worker lol
Bro, Jesus desires that ALL shall come to repentance. Remember goodness is like hot coals to evilness. The darkness cannot understand the light.
You should have said, “no SS number then we can’t pay you.” “Thank you for your time and for interviewing.”
Be nice to her as much as you can. Even dense people can sense profound empathy through kind understanding. They are often the ones who will warm to you in thick and thin loyalty.
Get out your company policy manual and study it. She's a probationary employee and you can write this cunt up every time she violates policy which she agreed to because you have to sign it before you start work. You should be able to have her gone sooner than later. Also ride her ass if she's not doing her job. These fuck tards don't last long!! GOOD LUCK!!