Sorry to hear that. You don't have to have any magic words. Just be there and willing to listen when he's ready to talk.

I’m so very sorry. Praying for all involved. 🙏

My good friend killed himself 5 years ago in Nov. I had to clean up the mess. There are no magic words. He will go through all stages of grief. The anger is the last taste left in the mouth. Best thing is to pray and talk about it. There are no wrong emotions. With younger folks, the best best thing is to monitor for signs of depression and copycat. No innocent life is worth taking. Best thing is to get out and help others. Sorry for your loss.

Go for a walk. Say nothing. Just wait until he says something and listen.

Ive been through a suicide of a close relative and the murder of my brother in front of me. I h ad a hard time with the suicide because she shot her self in my apartment and my husband who was a minor was working out of town when it happened. He blamed me and turned my life upside down. I went through hell. As long as your son has support from the people he cares about the most he will be fine. I can tell you though when my brother was shot in front of me he died instantly. At that time I thought Cheryls suicide was a choice she herself had made. My brother didnt have a choice. So explain to your son that his friend made that choice. No one chooses suicide with out first thinking about it for a long time.

I'm up to 7 friends who've killed themselves 5 saw combat, one was a drunk and the other addicted to meth. The thing that I have come to understand is it's not something selfish necessarily but more akin to someone escaping a burning building and jumping out a window to escape from the suffering. Don't know if that is helpful but it might help you explain how it works to your son once there is a dialog with you.

Speaking from experience there is nothing your son could have done. I've made sense of it by explaining it to myself like this: they are in a fight, an internal battle that they never tell anyone about. At a weak moment they lost the battle. I went through anger, bargaining, self guilt, etc. It was a fight they had between their ears and there was nothing I could have done. My friend fought depression for over 40 years and the inner enemy won. I was very sad for a long time but after 20 years of carrying this sadness all you can do is be grateful for your time together and thank God that you had the good fortune to cross paths and enjoy each other for at least a while. Lean on God during the hard times and allow your friends and family to help you.

The pain that comes with this is raw and crippling. At least at 1st. It takes so much effort to breathe through each day, to go on without guilt, grief, wondering what you missed, what you could have done, living in a black hole of despair.

But after time, (a few years), the grief lessens and one can have moments of appreciation and sometimes joy, for the loved one lost.

That's my only words of wisdom. Simply be near. Hold a hand once in a while, give a hug when one is not expected, say I love you when there wasn't a need. Wait. Be there.

This is beyond tragic, no matter what the circumstances, and you are in a difficult role. The first thing I have said to others (not my child) is, "All I can do is be sad with you, and you have questions or thoughts, it would be good to talk about them."

When I was in high school a friend of mine killed herself. My lest words to her haunted me for the longest time. I was joking with her but my last words where "see ya later bitch", she killed herself a few days later because her boyfriend broke up with her and antidepressants caused her to spiral but the fast those where my last words made me feel horrible.

Since your son was the last to talk to this person, the greatest advice outside of prayer and open communication would be letting them know that they are not what caused this, and they are not responsible. I obviously don't know you or your sons situation, but if that ever comes up I hope this helps.

You can check my post history. My cousin who I was best friends with killed himself on September 26th. We were born 5 days apart. He lived with me for two years. I just take one day at a time. Been really hard on everyone. The hardest part is the what ifs. Wish I could say it will get better but it's still fresh.

Dear Lord, comfort this son and everyone who loved his friend, Please do not let the What-ifs and If-onlys destroy them. Draw them to your Word where they may find you and your strength to cling to. Surround them with your love that endures forever. Draw the people & resources they need to process & cope with this loss to each of them. Provide them the support from family & friends and guide those family & friends in what to say or do so that those affected by this loss can find comfort & peace. Thank you that you are faithful to be there when tragedy strikes. Thank you for all the ways you provide for us. Please walk with each person affected by this death and lead them from the darkness and into your light. Let them hold dear the very best memories from their friend or family member and share those memories to honor them for the time they were here. Please Lord, let this grief find its place that those affected are not destroyed by it. I ask this most sincerely In Jesus' Mighty name, Amen.

Very sorry to hear that. Prayers for you and your son. And for all those that his friend left behind. Among all the other things that will arise, remember to show your son how much you love him. It will be difficult, but there is no quick consolation. Time and love will help.

I am sorry. If he is too depressed, I would provide Ignatia 200c and Rescue Remedy.

I am so sorry.

I worked with high school youth at my church a while back. Our church draws from a number of school districts, so the kids do not attend the same school.

One girl told of an incident at her school where there was a group of 4 guys who were all good friends. Within a matter of 5-6 weeks, 3 out of the 4 committed suicide.

The girl was pretty shaken up.

I let her talk and asked clarifying questions only. Basically, she drove the conversation.

Once she said everything she needed to say, I started guiding.

My first concern was that her faith life was still intact. So her knowing that she is deeply loved by Jesus and his salvific work on the cross has washed away her sins was paramount.

Next, we talked about them choosing a permanent solution to a temporary problem(s). This is never a good idea. Empathy, not judging, is how I used my words.

Then we talked about how dark life can seem at times. It is in these moments Satan chooses to strike to trick us into thinking that suicide is the only way out. We need to remember how deeply we are loved by Jesus and that this is temporary.

Lastly, we talked about the boys.

For the 3 who committed suicide, I stated that we turn the matter over to God, trusting in his wisdom, goodness, love, and faithfulness to do what is right. We do not, cannot, know ALL aspects. God does. The matter is in his hands, not ours. Be at peace.

We prayed for the one remaining boy. For him to know the love of Jesus. She was not sure if he had a saving relationship with Jesus.

Shortly after this, we went into COVID lockdown and then my life went in a different direction so I do not know how it turned out.

I hope that this helps. This is kind of tersely written, when speaking I use a much more softer approach and use sensitivity in my word choices. The message is identical however.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. Blessings upon you and your son and your conversations.

I had a friend take himself years ago. It was a person who I might have traded lives with in a second. Good looking, popular and actually a hell of a guy. It’s really hard to make sense of some tragedies and in my case, I just needed to stop wondering why. Harder than it sounds but I had to stop thinking of explanations and just let it be. Hope your son pulls through this stronger.

That’s terrible. They say only the ones who want to do it are successful- meaning they never give any signs. So sorry for your son & that friend’s family.

When I was in college, a friend of mine committed suicide. The thing that I had the hardest time with was my anger. I was SO angry with him for doing that, but I didn't feel like I should be angry because I knew he had to be absolutely in such a terrible place to feel like that was the only way out. It was working through all the emotions without censoring them that I finally had to give myself permission to do.
I was so traumatized by what happened that I wrote a short story that captured the back and forth I was dealing with. The story ended with two lines:

"And I keep thinking about her saying that and all I can think is, That bitch! That rotten bitch.

Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry."

I'm sorry that your son is going through this. It's brutal. I will keep him in my prayers.

Just talk to him, let him know you'll always be there for him to listen to his problems. Maybe his friend didn't have anybody he could talk to, or maybe medicine side effect?

NAMI has support groups nationwide, which helps kids & families.

Jason Foundation has a free support system set up by a father who had a child commit suicide.

You may be able to find help with a query (DuckDucjGo, Yandex, Bing, google etc...) "suicide survivor support group"

Local Grief Support groups can help as well.

If you choose to go the route of counseling, remember that you are the customer & if the counselor isn't a good fit for you & does not respect your values, then you need to use a different counselor. Most people Don not understand this & give up after a single bad experience.

Source: Based Behavorial Health Director for a major chain, my spouse.

I've been a Christian for a very long time (since I was a kid), but it wasn't until my early thirties that I read Joyce Meyer's book, Battlefield of the Mind. Prior to that I thought that every thought that came into my head was mine, and I'd wrestle with each one since I thought it's meaning and root was something in my soul. When I learned that the enemy (Satan) has access to (for lack of a better term) shoot, like arrows, thoughts into my mind... I started to look at them much more critically.... the imposters became more and more obvious: "This isn't mine, it's an attack." That has helped me tremendously in life. I know this won't bring his friend back, but maybe it will help with the struggle to understand. Many people have no defense walls in their lives. The enemy ransacks their kingdom (their mind) over and over. His friend very likely didn't know how to explain or ask for help. I can't even imagine what he's going through. I echo the advice to just sit with him, like a faithful dog would do. If you're not yet comfortable praying with him, you can pray for him. It WILL make a difference. Your son's relationship to God is your highest calling. Do battle for him regularly in the heavenlies. You'll be amazed at God showing you how he'll answer.

This is a very sad situation for your son. He needs help to understand that he had no control over his friend's actions. Sadly, love and friendship isn't always enough when a person decides that it is their time to leave this earth. No one can know why his friend saw suicide as the only option. Only his friend knows.

Sometimes when the decision to end it all is made, the person may not show any signs. They just feel relieved that their anguish will end so they carry on as usual.

I pray that one day soon your son will accept his friend's death as he would for anyone who dies after a painful illness. We mourn the loss of the person but find comfort in knowing that they are free from the pain they had.

My girlfriend who is a therapist says that he needs to go through all the stages of the grieving process and that you should be there for him. Ask how he's doing. Be real with him, he lost a very close and personal friend.

If this is his first experience losing someone close it's hard because it brings mortality home to him, now he's threatened. That's on top of the grief and shock of sudden loss. Often people wish they could have said something before it was too late. Probably there wasn't anything your son could have said or done to prevent it, but he might think there was and need to talk about it. Let him imagine his friend was there to talk to.

This a tough one to respond to. A little over three years ago my best friend killed himself. He left a new wife and an unborn son. For me, it wasn’t talking it out but just knowing my friends and family were there as support. What helped me out a lot was giving his eulogy, it was really cathartic. Just be there, your son will be questioning why. Try not to make sense of the death, but just be there.

Please feel free to DM me with any questions. I am sorry for your son’s loss and please know I am giving him a virtual bear hug.

On another note, depression is a terrible, terrible disease. Topic for another post, but my buddy ws pumped full of meds prescribed by someone guessing what was wrong.

1. It's not his fault.

2. Grieve as you will, but try to do it in private.

3. Time is the only thing that will make it better. Let it happen.

Pray for him every moment it crosses your mind. Everyone grieves and deals with life in their own way, I can’t speak for your son but I can share with you my experience in the hope that it helps. My best friend committed suicide last year on the same day my other best friend, my dog, of 14 years died.

I’m not one to express my emotions with people, I’m of Irish and Scottish descent if that helps paint a picture. It’s easier for me to type this out to strangers than to speak it with loved ones. Life following that day was very surreal for quite a while. An extreme heaviness came over me for months following. Sometimes silence and solitude is the only comfort. Words lose relevance and meaning and can come across as fake when people try to console you. If he knows your there for him then he knows, make sure he knows that that love is real and that it is there for him.Time heals wounds but the scars will always remain. Do your best to show him love without driving him away by smothering him. It’s easy to fall into a state of wanting to just drown it all out through alcohol or drugs, sometimes it’s needed or at least feels that way, but the danger is that it gets a foothold because it can make it worse and will take you into a darker place if you don’t have a solid foundation to stand on (Jesus Christ and the word of God) or good people or parents like yourself to help you out.

If you asked me during that time what you could do for me I would say pray. Leave me alone and let me grieve and just pray that the internal dialogue gets hashed out into a better understanding of this life and how fragile and precious it truly is.

My hearts broken for your sons loss, I will lift your son in prayer and ask that this wound heals and he becomes a better man from it.

Ecclesiastes 9:4 For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion.

I am so sorry for your family and the friend's family...I pray that the Lord will give you peace and comfort in the midst of this storm. May your family grow stronger in fellowship with each other and with the Lord. Our Father understands grief and he knows the depth of your sorrow and I know He will carry you through. May God bless you.

I can relate and so sorry sorry for what you are going thru. Make sure your son knows he is loved and God has a plan for him and all of us, and that plan never includes taking one's own life. It hurts families and friends for decades, and solves nothing. Praying for you and your son.

Hospice in my area had a program where children going through grief could have their own self help group. They could feel safe and talk freely about their feelings. My son was in a group with a brother and sister whose father committed suicide and my son came to believe that suicide was the most selfish thing one could do. I believe this saved his life.

I have known several people whose child committed suicide. It is a hell I would wish on no one. Your child needs help. Do not let this slide.

Tell your son he did nothing wrong and not to bear that responsibility. There was nothing he could have done. My friend committed suicide last year, I know he may be feeling some sort of guilt for not stopping the impossible.

Go with God friend.

As others are saying, just being there for your son and listening when he's ready to talk. Or just hug him.

The pain of losing a friend in that way is never easy, it just gets just easier to deal with (speaking from experience).

I'm so sorry you are all going through this.

My very deepest condolences to his family & friends. I pray that your son will be able to talk it out with you or others he trusts as he is going to need someone to help him through this.