Today, two of us went out to walk by the beach in Massachusetts State Park. (Google Maps Satellite) The river (actually a giant lake) is ~750 ft wide and very deep. There's a Boat Club with several ramps. It is a beautiful serene place.
We noticed we were the only two people in the park. As we approached the beach, we nearly collided with a man (Hispanic / Middle-Eastern, 20-30 years old) swiftly walking behind us. It appeared that he was late for a meeting. The man was wearing a thick black winter coat (backwards), big boots and heavy backpack.
The man ran onto a narrow boat ramp. I thought: "What is he doing? Waiting for a boat?" The man was ~140ft away from us. He was pacing back and forth on the ramp. Suddenly, he stopped, turned and fell backwards into the river. He wailed one last time. Then his head submerged into the deep water below.
Guy from the Boat Club ran onto the ramp. He looked down into the river and yelled: "Motherf--ker!" He quickly ran back into the Club shouting to his fellow employee: "Call 911!"
Within ~10 minutes, an armada of police and EMT arrived on the scene. We counted 50+ officers and emergency personnel, two divers, three ambulances and two fire trucks. It took them almost an hour to locate the guy's lifeless body in the deep waters and bring it onshore.
I felt completely numb. I have watched many gruesome videos on LiveLeak (people getting electrocuted, shot, fall from roof, run over by cars, airplanes crashing and burning, etc). In those instances, innocent people died by accident.
But I hate people who kill themselves. This guy was in his prime. Yet he was a coward. He could not deal with his problems, so he decided to "unplug" himself. Now his parents, siblings, girlfriend will be suffering. What a waste.
Let me remind you: You are not alone. Everyone has dark thoughts. This is Satan whispering into your ear. Pray to God. Don't give up. Never give up. If you have bad feelings, reach out and let someone help you. Don't be a coward. Do not commit suicide. May God bless you.
Suicide/death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
And leaves sooooo many victims behind. A person who offs him/her self leaves behind a massive wake of grieving loved ones. A parent or parents. A child or children. A spouse. A brother or sister. Friends. You name it.
The pain the suicidee felt is only compounded and transferred to others.
This. I’ve dealt w several suicides of close friends and family members. It does nothing but leave pain for the living.
A very sad loss.
That’s not always true.
So I've been told.
I believe you come straight back to deal with the problems you tried to avoid, now compounded with that final act.
And you might wander around beforehand.
No, I don't have all the answers.
I belive the good ones who kill themselves do go to heaven, but they are tasked with helping those down here who are devastated by their deaths.
Prove it.
Which happens to be exactly what suicidal people are looking for. Who wouldn't want a permanent solution to any problem?
Those who you can 'talk' out of it.
And reinstate back in to society as a working, contributing citizen, with meds if needed.
Kinda bothers me when someone criticizes someone for committing suicide and calls them a coward. For one it's just not a good word to use. Ending ones life and risking eternity in Hell or purgatory or as a ghost- I can't call people that do this cowards. Sure they ran away from whatever in life became too intense to handle but we have no idea what exactly they felt like inside or what it's like inside that person's mind.
I once heard someone describe their mental issues in a really good way, saying that living inside their own mind was like living in a very dangerous neighborhood. For some people, it's harder than we can imagine.
Agreed. And to also say you hate them.. Yes suicide is wrong. But have some compassion, you truly do not know the thoughts running through their head.
Could of had family in Turkey?
If OP can't swim that seems even more suicidal, so, not that weird. I can swim but I'm definitely not a good swimmer, it's pretty much impossible for me to be able to help in that circumstance either.
Yes, I agree that if somebody’s not a good swimmer, or is it being that cold could be detrimental to your health it would be a deterrent
But to call somebody else a coward for committing suicide, and then refusing to even run over to the edge to see if they’re OK, or even consider, jumping into help them, to me that is who the coward is.
Agreed. OP doesn’t know if this guy had a family, siblings, girlfriend, or friends. He may not have. Many people are alone in this world and have absolutely no one.
As for reaching out for help. Ending up in a psych ward after asking for help makes it worse and destroys any trust/hope. It’s a risk many aren’t willing to take because why would they want to be involuntarily be pumped full of psych meds? People lie to get out of these places.
I’ve often said that in my opinion it takes a strong constitution and somewhat of a brave person to do something like that if you will! To me Coward doesn’t fit the description in most cases! I myself have lived through many horrors that for most would of been enough to push one’s mind off a cliff , bridge or pier! By the grace of God I never attempted and often joked I was to much of a coward to do something like that . So I agree for many reasons they are not cowards it actually takes a lot of balls ! Of course there are always the acception , and my heart breaks for anyone so desperate to do this !
Agreed with everything you said… I have been there. Many times. Too many times and am sure, that if not for God’s Hand on my, I would not be here today.
From the outside, I had an enviable life but no one knew anything then surface stuff.
If anything, we should feel pity for the loss of a soul that couldn’t see their way through and say a prayer
Some of the people who end their lives this way are yes mentally unstable, mentally ill , but many aren’t , they were perfectly fine until some tragic situation entered their lives and they felt as though they could no longer deal or process through the pain that manifested from the situation. For some it’s physical , chronic pain , others emotional and of course mental. there are also suicide demons speaking to the vulnerable or desperate, the devil has all kinds of ways to destroy humanity. Yes it’s extreamly sad , it’s natural for those left to feel angry as they work through their grief , the ones dealing with the loss have the right to heal in their own way and I’ve never heard any of them use coward when expressing their anger and sadness . It’s a tough go to tragically kill yourself , it’s a form of murder , murdering the life that caused oneself so much anguish ! Compassion is a force that can change and save lives ,,, yes we must be kind and pray for those hurting.
Yeah brave is exactly the word I wanted to use but I self-censored myself out of using it haha.
So true. The novelist, David Foster Wallace, temporarily stopped his meds, then went back on and they stopped working. Nothing he tried after that apparently worked. He must have been in tremendous pain.
Yep. The judgement is unreasonable, and reactions usually just as or more selfish than they claim the act itself to be, as if the person were property to be held caged for the emotional and moral satisfaction of others' egos.
Yes, that's a whole 'nother part of it I've always completely agreed with it. They call the person selfish but really they're the ones pretty much saying that they want the person to continue enduring whatever soul crushing feelings they're dealing with for a full lifetime just so that they (the accuser of selfishness) don't have to lose someone.
I'm sorry you had to witness that and I'm sorry that the man chose to end his life. I have been in that dark place before, and the one thing I know is that it is 100% demonic and Satanic. They will weigh on you until you almost can't breathe and want nothing more than to end it all. Some people can't see their way out of that fog and make the wrong decision. And the demons win.
God bless you and I hope that those images will fade quickly from your mind.
Seagate, glad you survived. I agree. Depression, being spiritually bereft, creates crippling internal pain. Those that give in and commit suicide intentionally (as opposed to accidently) are in the midst of pain so great that they act just to make the pain stop. It's not selfish, instead it's a response to unabated crushing pain without end. Of course, this does relate to those people with borderline personalities that are manipulative, selfish, and histrionic.
Seagate, glad you survived. I agree. Depression, being spiritually bereft, creates crippling internal pain. Those that give in and commit suicide intentionally (as opposed to accidently) are in the midst of pain so great that they act just to make the pain stop. It's not selfish, instead it's a response to unabated crushing pain without end. Of course, this does relate to those people with borderline personalities that are manipulative, selfish, and histrionic.
Hate autocorrect...didn't notice it changed your name from seagoatz to Seagate
They'll never fix that now that Steve Jobs is deaf.
(Possibly this gag's final public appearance).
I am sorry for the man who felt things were hopeless and for you to have to see that. I have seen many pass from life naturally and it is always intensely emotional...even though we will all face death at some point...a lot of sadness in the world...
I will pray. Just heard of a young mom also kill herself. Very tragic.
I know people who have had a family member kill themselves. Those left behind never get over it.
Good message, but maybe leave out the "I hate people who kill themselves". Hating the act is OK, hating the mentally ill person who feels so hopeless they see no other way? Not very frenly of you, fren.
Do you know how difficult it is to not only decide to kill yourself, but then act upon it, too? It is not cowardly and cowards do not make that decision. To call people who kill themselves "cowards" or "cowardly" is projection.
I was going to say just this, but couldnt come up with the right words, so ty for your post.
Having experienced long term major dep/anx experience myself, I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy, let alone the darker thoughts, hopelessness and mental agony and exhaustion that accompanies suicidal ideation, planning or ultimately attempting to end ones life.
Sorry to hear this.
You never know what people are going through. A friend of mine took his life because he couldn't live without his girlfriend that died 5 years prior. I was there for him to lean on, but I couldn't force him to reach out for help. She was my friend too, for almost 36 years, so he and I were in pain together (she died of cancer). I blamed myself for not being a good enough friend to him for quite a while, but it was his decision. I hate him for making that decision, but it was his.
Please just pray for the man and the loved ones he left behind.
I'll light a candle for the soul that passed. God speed.
I have been there, the darkness and the pain. Obviously I wasn't successful. If it taught me anything, it showed me that there are forces beyond one's control [or at least we think there are] that dictate the grand scheme of things. The only reasonable conclusion I can draw is that there was a reason I wasn't successful. Perhaps one day I will figure it out.
I too tried to kill myself and was unsuccessful and like you it was weird how it went. Maybe this maybe tmi but I was hanging myself in my bathroom with the shower head hose. I, well too me at least, was going unconscious, it felt like I slept. I suddenly snap awake in a panic attack and then cried right after. It still boggles my mind how my body instinctively jolted me awake so I wouldn't die and like you maybe there was a reason but I humble myself because I'm not special. I don't know, it just seemed very weird.
On a side note. I really bugs me that some people still have this notion that depression is just about being sad but its way more that that. I wouldn't even call it sadness, more like the joy of living is just sucked out of you and everything just seems bland, your motivation gets thrown out the window, your socializing also gets thrown out the window. Your hobbies and likes for some reason just aren't fun anymore. You are wondering how is everyone so happy yet for some reason your brain doesn't want to compute it. Like I should be happy right now but I can't. Don't get me wrong we do experience happiness time to time, but most of the time we can't. And when we do feel happy, we sometimes get sad because you remember you don't always feel like this. Depression just sucks man lol. I'm better now, but me remembering how I was at my lowest points, kind of makes me happy knowing how long I have lasted.
Well said.
Been there.
Great post, concise synopsis of what it is like. Thanks Fren.
There is a reason you were saved fren. I'm glad you were destined to be on this path here with us. You are needed in this battle.
Always appreciate the kind words. Thanks Joy.
Depression is real… Just because he committed suicide doesn’t mean that he’s a coward. You should really educate yourself on that type of illness.
Being a person who suffered with depression, my entire life, and I probably spent at least half of my life, wanting to kill myself every single day, let me tell you it’s real, and it sucks balls.
However; I made a decision a long time ago that I would never do that to my family. But, and this is a big but, I don’t know what’s worse. Wanting to kill yourself, or knowing that you can’t.
Suicide is a Luxury!
For you to say, this person is a coward, without even knowing their circumstances, tells me more about you than him. I’m sorry that you had to experience this today, however, instead of running over to help him, all you’ve done is post here in judge him.
And many people don’t realize that the person suffering with depression has probably multiple problems. RX meds, insomnia, possible brain injury, self medicating with drugs or alcohol, domestic issues, etc. Rarely is it just one problem. So they get tunnel vision. They can’t see anything but the problems with no resolution, with clouds of desperation swirling around and the cycle of trying to alleviate making it worse. They sometimes feel the world would be better off without them. They’re mistaken but they do think that many times. And so many without God in their lives now.
Here is one truth that many don’t realize. SSRIs can make people suicidal, especially young adults. So many are on them now. The lockdowns, covid, job or lack of, failed businesses, school and social media exacerbated the problems and millions are on them now but they do not help. I’d love to see a study where it was proven they work. Big Pharma at it’s finest.
THIS SSRI’s were the beginning of brainwashing, and causing people so much grief. I’ve been prescribed so many of those, and I refuse to take them now. I just won’t. I’ve taken a lot of drugs in my life, and the worst drugs that I’ve ever came off of work, psych meds it was horrible. They started prescribing these like candy about 25 to 30 years ago. You can see the effects of that on society now.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I watched a pedestrian walk out on the freeway as their body was hit by several vehicles and tossed about like a kids beach ball. It was now over 30 years ago and the view still haunts me. May God have mercy on his soul, and may God give you strength for what you witnessed.
It's a moment that always brings reflection. About 8 years ago I was doing one of my usual lunch hour swims at Newport Beach, CA right next to the pier. I would swim out to the buoys. On this particular summer day, I was having the time of my life, marveling at such a perfectly beautiful day, the heat, the cool salty water that teems with life, the sunshine boosting our moods.
I came back to shore which ended up being right alongside a freshly washed up body of a millennial guy, fully clothed and clearly had just thrown himself off the end of the pier. Blood out of the nose. The lifeguards started tending to him but police or ambulance were not there yet.
I simply squatted down to the sand and looked at his face, from a somewhat respectful distance. I sort of had a silent "conversation" with him in his head, knowing it was rationally fruitless, but just to process the contradiction of someone who took the last step of a condition of having no appreciable level of dopamine left, right in the middle of an environment that is essentially a dopamine pharmacy. I can say this because someone who truly acts on the belief that the only empowered choice they have left is to self-terminate, by definition has no appreciable amount of dopamine neurotransmissions left to perceive the reality around them and process decision making accordingly.
Individual, seemingly small, early on choices can have massive downstream consequences eventually. These are the nonlinear effects in life, whether for good or ill, and it has all to do with the management or mismanagement of time and energy, and I mean that in more than one sense.
Don't neglect yourself fren, deal with it as you see fit but don't bury it.
Since it is clear your Goverment wants you dead, you should stay alive out of pure spite.
I support you 100%.
Well, sorry you had to witness that, friend. You didn't even know the man, but his death affected you enough to write this down for us, and I can sense the angst in your post. Pray for the man and his family and loved ones, and ask the Lord for relief for you too.
I've seen deaths and violence in the Third World, and it's never anything you forget soon.
I'm from the 413 - sorry about that man. :(
I have a hard time replying because your post is kind of a mix of empathy and hatred. But let me begin with- I’m sorry you went through that. To see someone take their own life has got to be one of the worst things anyone could experience. I hope you’re ok. It’s good you’re trying to talk about it.
One thing about suicide- everyone has their own story and unless you know that person, I wouldn’t presume to know why or know who he has impacted directly. He may have no family that he had a relationship with. He may have gotten dumped by his girlfriend, got divorced, lost his job, lost his home, hurt someone terribly, been a drug addict, had legal problems, been on SSRIs, had PTSD, was having a psychotic episode, been an alcoholic, found out he had terminal cancer, just lost a child, had been an abuse survivor.. . I guess the list of possibilities could go on for hours.
But it isn’t up to us to judge. It’s up to us to have compassion, forgiveness in our hearts, love for one another and to pray for his soul and those who knew him and try to reach out to others who we think may be in a desperate state or seem depressed because a lot of times they just need someone to care and listen. They need direction where to get concrete help. So we need to work on that. I know it’s too late for him and you didn’t know him but we need to be more compassionate human beings and try to help prevent this shit.
But again, I’m sorry you went through that- it would be something unforgettable and life changing. Prayers for you, fren.
One less invader
At least he didn’t have a bomb vest and yell I’m a snack bar
People are in a psychotic episode when they do this shit.
or they're just in more 'ain than they feel like living with, and don't know how to deal with it.
Thanks for sharing.
There have been a few suicides among people in my life and I struggled with the back and forth of feeling guilty because I didn't know how to help them (or that they needed help) and feeling angry that they would do this to everybody around them. But my Mom said something to me in my college days when I was ranting about the situation where one of our roommates in the co-op we lived in hung himself in the laundry room we all shared--she said, "Imagine how terribly he must have been feeling that THIS seemed like the best solution for him." That statement she made has stayed with me through the other suicides I've witnessed in my world. People are not always in their right minds when they act in all sorts of situations. It's easy to judge them when we're on the outside looking in. I suspect it would be a lot easier to be compassionate toward them if we could feel what it is like to be on their inside looking out.
Sorry you had to see that, friend.
Seriously doubt a coroner would rule this a suicide just by eyewitness account. I would wait for the autopsy before passing judgement.
Unfortunately, Satan's whispers are easier to hear than God's.
Why not vaxxed and "Died Suddenly" - he could have been waiting for someone.
Too bad it wasn't Hillary.
He fell into the water... And just sank?
Did he have weights on him?
He was wearing a thick winter coat (backwards), big boots and heavy backpack.
Odd. Definitely sounds mental. Sry you saw that.
Death is permanent. I saw enough (usually gory) of it as an Leo.
It's stressful. You never forget some of them depending on the situation.
If you were only feet away, why did you not jump in the water to try to help him?
It’s February. In Massachusetts. Over 100 feet away. Wearing heavy boots and a loaded backpack that he couldn’t shuck off because of the way he put on his coat.
Just stolen from Penisse's post "Hold the line" - All credits to him and thanQ!
Q DROP #828
👉🏻 https://qalerts.app/?q=%23828
u/#q828
You prefer to watch someone die by accident over suicide?