I don't drink often, but when I do I get ridiculously drunk, I become a monster. Im surrounded by some of the best people in the world, but I always end up doing or saying something i can hardly deal with the next day, aside from that, they are more than forgiving. I just recently had a bout of this for my birthday. I generally think this is because I bottle my feelings and the only way I know how to release them is by blacking out and throwing a temper tantrum or sobbing. Its crazy because I'm a grown man. I hate it, i actually hate it. Its like I never grew up, a child stuck in an aging body. I tell myself it wont happen again. Then after months i go out for a beer or a drink and wake up embarrassed seeing flashes of this animal mixed with absolutely nothingness. Wondering what i did or said. While not really wanting to know. If any of you are dealing with this or have, what helped? I dont mind if you Share some embarrassing moments you've dealt with or just how to deal with it. Thanks, this place is the only place I know to ask because I don't have anyone else to talk too.
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It's what I hate about drunks. They either love you or hate you..A trip to rythmia costa rico would cure that
Yes things bottled up to come out when you drink! The Indians couldn't drink at all for any reason and that is why they called it firewater.
Smoke weed it's a better alternative. It'll expand your thinking instead of your mouth.
Alcohol isn't called "Spirits" for nothin.
Some people do not have the mechanism in their brain that tells them its time to stop intaking alcohol. Best advice I can give is limit yourself to 1 maybe 2 drinks in social settings, hard pass after that. Or just dont drink at all. If you have to drink to have a good time, your an alcoholic. Not being mean, just what it is. And alcoholics who dont have that ability to stop drinking end up blacking out and doing stupid shit or saying stupid shit... all the time.
That sounds exactly like me. I don't drink often at all maybe once every few months max, but have zero control once i have a drink.
Good news is it doesn't sound like your going through withdrawals or anything like that. Going months in between drinking is a good sign that you can just cut it out all together. And a good sign that you have the ability to set yourself hard limits ahead of time. Have faith, you can do it.
Yea, it's so hard when all my friends want to go out and have some drinks, and its unbearable to watch, so I either don't go, or go and wake up the next day hating my decision. I wish I could be enjoyable in those environments because they all have a good time and talk about how much fun they had "last weeked" and can't wait to do it again. Wish I was normal ish.
Go out with friends just don't drink alcohol. Get a gingerale or sprite to pretend if you must. There is a type of alcoholism that is binge drinking type. Black outs are a huge warning sign.
I am now understanding this. It's exactly what i deal with. It was always easy to tell myself i wasn't an alcoholic because i seriously hardly drink until im drinking.
It takes a lot of self control, but my close buddy who was a raging alcoholic (Wrecked 2 cars, 1 DUI, had a bottle broken over his face while fighting) was able to quit cold turkey 9 years ago.
I know you don't drink often, but the thing is, my buddy ONLY drinks Mountain Dew when he goes out with people who are drinking. Not sure how he has the self control, but maybe you could promise yourself to only get a soda and see how it goes. It helps that nobody tries to buy him alcohol, so maybe you could text everyone in advance that you are making this commitment to be a better friend and human.
Good luck and God Bless!
Its scary for sure, the shit you do when you're under the influence. I really appreciate the advice and will take it into consideration. Honestly its easy for me to say never again after those kinds of nights i can't even count how many "never agains" it has been.
I get that. You just have to decide what you want more.
Next time your friends invite you out, before going, come make a post about it.
It sounds as if you perhaps do not have the oft referred to "addictive personality" but perhaps you have a "binge personality"... You refer to yourself as a "grown man" so it is not inexperience.... so perhaps find something healthy to binge on. Exercise, Research, helping others, nature photography... Something positive!
Thats a great idea. I have lost alot of my life in numerous ways. So it seems I am acting out childishly to fulfill that lack of childhood. To make matters worse I was constantly bombarded with negative things in the last 5 years or more. Im not sure what my outlet will be, but Im going to try.
Gummies! There’s a lot of different kinds.
Best advice, look at what is around you... Easy access. Is there a bike/exercise path nearby? Are there accessible wild areas and park lands? University libraries where you can get a community card... PAL programs?.... Cooking classes? Try to keep the threshold low so your new activity is easy to do at a moment's notice.
Im you. I dont really drink at all anymore. When I do its a beer and thats it. Its funner to watch people be stupid than be stupid.
That sounds alot better honestly.
Check out Dr Hulda Clark and consider treating yourself for parasites and detox. She has a book on Amazon. Good luck and may God bless you on your journey.
I was always an embarrassing mess when I drank- I stopped drinking any alcohol whatsoever at the age of 23 roughly. I’m 45 now, my sister and brother still drink and they have the same issue. Binge drinking is a problem for specific people, some can have just a drink or 2 , binge drinkers get drunk every time. Once you give it up completely you’ll be so much healthier and I always found depression was so much worse after drinking. I don’t miss it one bit. I sometimes miss the taste of a good beer. I was stationed in Germany for a couple years and came to love beer but for the most part don’t miss it.
Im definitely a binge drinker. I hate it. Its easy to say I just won't do it again, but its something I will have to work on.
I was lucky, I’m a woman met my husband not long after I quit drinking…at church. In my religion drinking isn’t acceptable so I don’t really hang out with people who drink anymore and a couple decades later I have 6 kids. I won’t say it’s easy, but my circumstances made it easier. Good luck, praying for the best for you 🥰
Thank you, and congratulations on making life better on yourself. Im certainly going to try
Heres an idea. Stop drinking period. By the way one of these times you will kill someone when you black out. Just so you know blackouts are not a defense in court. The guy that killed my brother tried that and he is still in prison 33 years later. Let me tell you that is pretty good considering I am in Canada and you dont hear of many people doing that kind of time here.
If you dont stop drinking that is where you are headed.
Im sorry to hear that, really. And it shouldn't be a defense that holds up period. Thanks for not beating around the bush. Sometimes its the harsh reality that sticks the most.
If as you say, it happens every time you do it, don't do it! Ever! What you need is an outlet for your feelings. This is why people take up art, go to counselors, get pets, write diaries. The most immediate easy thing is to write your thoughts down daily. Then put them away, keep them for a month or so, look them over again. Repeat. You'll probably see themes that will suggest why you feel bottled up.
Check out lithium oronate...helps to quit drinking...
Also check out mega doses of B3 per Dr. Abram Hoffer and Andrew Saul...used by AA in the past to aid in sobriety...so try going to AA perhaps if you are serious...
Do you need counseling...perhaps but first just quit drinking...it is your enemy...you will like sobriety better than the guilt of making a fool of yourself...would you willingly drink poison? That is essentially what you are doing...
I have seen too many lives ruined because of alcohol...it is NOT worth it...
I'd suggest looking for any traumatic events in your life, esp. surrounding people who drank or who embarrassed you or shut you down because of your feelings. You may not recall it immediately, but your body remembers it every time you drink (and through alcohol, lose control).
This suggests you're burying something: "I hate it, i actually hate it. Its like I never grew up, a child stuck in an aging body. I tell myself it wont happen again. Then after months i go out for a beer or a drink and wake up embarrassed seeing flashes of this animal mixed with absolutely nothingness. Wondering what i did or said. While not really wanting to know."
It seems like you're trying to block something that is a part of your experience - it's living - and living things don't stay buried for long. Much as you don't want to look at it, you have to do it to get control of it. Otherwise, it'll stay stuffed down and control you.
I pray that God grants you the spiritual wisdom you need to figure this out so you can be free of it. May His peace be yours, fren.
The scary thing is, I know what the trauma is. Just have zero idea on how to go about it. Even if I talk about it it will always be with me. I don't know how therapy helps because letting it out is a minor relief to something that always comes back. Truly thank you for your response and maybe it is something I will have to learn to deal with in other ways, drinking only makes it worse for sure, and if I keep this up, i will lose the only people that truly care for me.
EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy is very effective for trauma, but it needs to be in person (no online sessions). I encourage you to do all you can to find a good therapist - the best you can afford - who uses it, and give it a try. A good therapist will work with you and not waste your money or time. I really think it might be helpful to you. Maybe one of those caring people you have around you knows someone (who knows someone...). Whatever it is is part of your experience, but you do not have to let it control you (and it does whether you are conscious of it or not, unless you put it in its place). I hope this helps, fren.
"EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy." Absolutely worked for me. I searched for a qualified therapist that used this method. I had been in traditional talk therapy off and on for many years with limited success. I was amazed at how fast I was able process a given traumatic event. It's like defragging your hard drive (brain).
You're able to move the trauma to where it should have gone in your memory, thus making the traumatic event an unpleasant, unhappy memory instead of the memory that causes you to ruminate, with a never ending replay of the trauma. It was not a cure-all for me though. Forgiveness of the ones that caused the issue was the key to letting go completely.
Forgiveness is for the forgiver. I didn't forget the perpetrator nor what they did to me. I've had to forgive that person many times on certain memories. I have learned what Jesus meant when asked, "how many times should I forgive my brother? Jesus' reply was 70 x 7." This act keeps them from living rent free in your head. I also learned that if I needed to, these people were removed from my life by going no contact.
Such great advice...forgiveness is key to healing trauma. Wish I had that wisdom instead of having to learn it through trial and error. Thank you; I sincerely hope OP sees your comment.
I wasn't digging how my screen is so messed up when the updates come. So I picked up a Constitution and started reading....
Stop drinking and smoke some weed instead. It's much healthier. I have a friend whose 53 years old and diagnosed with cirrosis of the liver. They gave him until Aug 15th, 2022 to live. He quit drinking and occassionally has a cocktail. 3 of his doctors told him to start smoking reefer instead and he's still alive so it seems to be working. He never blacks out and never regrets what he's done the night before Good luck. I hope you find your peace!
My sister is like this. We all joke about her 7 stages of drinking going from all lovey to total wrecking ball to weepy and sobbing.
Her solution was to quit drinking. You should consider the same solution.
I was a heavy drinker in my youth. One day I decided being hung over at work in the hot sun sucked. So I quit drinking during the week. A year or two passed and I noticed I wasnt drinking on Friday or Saturday either. You know what? I dont miss it. Ill still have the occasional beer or three but as soon as that buzz gets going, Im done. I just dont want any more.
The one big drawback is that at family get togethers, like at the lake in the summer, when everyone else is drinking, they are annoying as fuck. My wife and I tend to leave before that happens when we would not have if they had remained somewhat sober.
"I don't have anyone else to talk too."
Me too. Thanks Frens.
~{°¡°}~
Go to an AA meeting. Find one near you here: https://www.aa.org/find-aa Take your post above (great, by the way) and read it when you are asked to introduce yourself. You’ll be amazed… Twelve Step program is the best beginning, and you’ve already done Step 1. Blessings on your courage and your new beginning…prayers for you Fren!
There's a reason that booze is called SPIRITS.
I'm not going to get all deep into details... just know that possession by demonic energies is very real.
Perhaps stop all booze consumption except for one glass for a special occasion and be sure to speak aloud a toast or declaration of why the occasion is worthy of celebration. It's all about your intention and moderation.
You must make a conscious CHOICE about how you will conduct yourself in future social drinking situations and then STICK TO IT.
All the best to you, fren. When each of us improves our thoughts, words, and actions to align more with Natural Laws/God's Laws the entire group is also uplifted. This is how I interpret WHERE WE GO ONE, WE GO ALL.
Stop drinking. Don't be an asshole. You'll find the world is a much better place when you're not consuming FDA approved poisons.
I just heard this on the radio yesterday. (It's from the enemy camp: NPR). About naltrexone, a drug that theoretically eliminates cravings, and will turn you off from alcohol. https://www.kcrw.com/@@search?q=Naltrexone
Obviously do your own research, but certainly worth looking at. And lent isn't over yet, so you can still do it for lent, with or without the drug. If you do without, I recommend a discipline of meditation and prayer, asking for help to remove the cravings. Good luck and God bless!
NAC was studied in the same way for cravings, but my personal advice to OP is to make a switch to cannabis for these times when you would be drinking, and see what happens. 🤷🏼♂️
Thank you, certainly something to look in to. I definitely hate feeling this way.
DM sent.
Maybe harsh and unpopular opinion but I'm not really worried about it.
Alcohol is a drug. It's just completely normalized. If I told you I only do fentanyl every once in a while and when I do I have a bad reaction and regret it, what would you say? I would hope somebody would be blunt with me and tell me like it is and say something like "If you're not addicted wtf are you doing casually using drugs that can kill you just to fit in if you know you react badly to it?"
It sounds ridiculous when you put another drug there, even though alcohol kills more than any other drug could dream of. If you have a problem on a drug and the option to just stop using it because you arent addicted, I would strongly consider taking that option while it's still an option.
I quit drinking with God's help 30 years ago,cause I had similar trouble.
I don't think any half measure will work,as I tried everything else.
I started in AA and then replaced that with a real church.
People like to blame this kind of event on trauma or past history. But honestly, I think some people just don’t do alcohol well. It just doesn’t mesh with some people’s biology. I used to drink a lot, and I was the same way—I’d have a bad reaction. I have relatives who are the same way. It’s like an allergy to alcohol.
Stop drinking. I know, easier said than done, but it’s crazy to keep doing something when it has such terrible consequences. If every time you turned on the water, it burned you, you’d avoid turning on the water and get it fixed. Simple analogy, but it’s true. Stop doing what hurts you.
Stop drinking NOW. You cant handle it. If you hurt someone you will spend the rest of your life in jail. Stop the excuses. We all have bottled up 'feelings' but most of us grew up and learned how to handle them. I picture you as a man in a diaper with a baby bottle in your hand filled with booze. Grow up.
Dont listen to anyone on here that tells you to stop drinking and then tells you to start taking a different drug. Weed is not the miracle we thought it was...long term effects can be disastrous for anxiety and depression. What you need is to give your brain time away from chemicals that alter its state. You may also consider something tougher to evaluate: are the people you choose to hang out with encouraging the behavior or contributing to it? If so you nay have to make tough choices on what events youll go to if alcohol is involved.
My dad was like this, it's a binge drinker. Youd be better off just abstaining. Find a non-alcoholic drink you like, like seltzer with lime in it or something and stick with that when you're out.