This ties right in to awakening and realizing that the “women’s liberation” movement in more recent times has merely been a psyop, meant to separate children from their mothers’ influence and presence. Women from the Boomer generation right on down to Gen Z have been told since childhood “get your education, start a career, get married, be a mother. You can do it all and have it all.”
I am the 30-something grown child of a Boomer woman with said education and busy career, and no, you cannot fucking do it all and have it all. My entire life has been impacted by that lie, and the resulting necessity for two incomes to even think of staying above water.
As a result of never seeing my mother for entire days sometimes during my childhood and teen years (not her fault at all, life is expensive and she & my dad did what they had to do for us kids), I have rebelled SO hard against that notion—and caught an incredible amount of flack for it from FAMILY of all people.
I had the grades, the test scores, the accolades and awards, athletic prowess, EVERYTHING…and then as I grew older and went off to college, I inexplicably fell apart academically. I had no drive. I didn’t care. I flailed about from major to major, considering the military even. It took many years to realize just how profoundly I had been affected by my mother’s absence, and that excelling in college and having a career meant my own future kids would suffer that same fate.
I have never been unloved, neglected, hungry, or abused. Other than missing my mom all the time, I had a magically fun and safe childhood, running wild with cousins and friends before technology chained us to couches and beds.
I am living proof of just how important having mom (or dad!) around all the time is. I’ve been impacted for a lifetime by my childhood, even though it was filled with love and all my needs & wants met. And I have chosen to sacrifice the big house, fancy cars, and constant vacations so many of my peers strive for to simply BE THERE for the little one growing inside of me. Thankfully my husband is fully on board, and makes plenty to offset my smaller secondary income.
Whether they’re working from home or staying home, one parent should be with the kids and available to them at all times. Because I am not bringing life into this world just to hand him or her to strangers so I can “have it all”. That lie has pulled mothers away from their children for three generations now, and it ends HERE.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Yes! A million times, yes!
And by changing our perspective, women can have all we want by wanting what we have.
Signed,
Homeschooling mama of many
Having all we want by wanting what we have… I LOVE that. God bless you and your family!
Yes! Well said!!!
Bravo! You have my full support. If more couples thought as you do, we would have a less degenerate society.
Thank you fren. I exist to break the cycle!
Your on fire!!
I'm right there with you. My LO is my whole world and I just woke up to the system my mom put herself thru (working single mother stressed, manic, and a narcissist took advantage of the welfare system). I feel I suffered greatly as a result. I don't want that for her it's affected me so bigly I just want the best for her and for her to feel safe comfy and loved.
Career during childbearing years is awful. I was a stay at home mom until my children were almost college age. Then I went to work to help them pay for college, so no debt for them. When they graduated, I went back to school and became a nurse. You can nearly do it all, but waiting until the children were adults worked best for us. BTW, I'm a Boomer and there weren't all that many of us stay at home moms left. Other women asked me why I didn't work. I'd just tell them that I'm doing what I love.
you worked all the time! sheesh!
True but it was, and is a labor of love.
-- well, i just HATE it when working moms say stay at homes don't work.
it's more work when you are always home. hat's off to ya' :)
This is more true now than it ever was. I know stay at home moms that went back to school and huge careers after their kids were in high school.
Yes. And what is so sad, many children I care for have parents who view them as accessories or mistakes, and put themselves and their careers before EVERYTHING. You can tell which kids get time, love, and attention from their parents regardless of work schedule, and which kids just exist in their homes.
Exactly. I had my career first. Then quit the career to stay home to raise 4 children (still at the tail end of that with the last 2 in high school). The next phase will be mine. And then hopefully back to family centered as my kids marry and have kids of their own
SO true.
Female, in my forties, no kids, worked my ass off for years (as in periods of 75-120+ hours a week, multiple post-grad degrees) and for what? Prior to Covid I did have good hobbies / friends but still… Likewise I was brought up totally indoctrinated into thinking I had to go to college, get a career, then maybe get married & have kids. High IQ, high performer, lots of other talents.
But EQ? Parents always fought (& finally split, as did other aunts uncles in my late teens/twenties so no great examples there) so our emotional needs… i ended up a high performing people-pleaser which means getting worked into the dirt in competitive careers or jobs unless you cop on. Who wants to date a woman always working, or doing exams, or the next degree?
Best way to try to have it all is find a good match in college/20s, have the family early, then in your forties if you want to run a business or go back to college do it then, when your kids are late teens early twenties.
But career structures these days are not only still designed for men with full time wives, I’d argue that performance expectations are even higher than they they were 30-40 years ago, with worse pay & job security.
The system is fucked and destroys the family and the woman. I'm waking up to this. I'd argue to say a lot of women (because they are more agreeable) opt in for the harder/stressful jobs. This fucks us up even more. We're fucked unless shit changes :(
You need to find a partner (husband) who is willing to support his family. Your job is to streeeeetch that dollar with your domestic skills and raise the kids. And yes, keep him happy. His job is to keep you happy. When you love someone, you want to do what makes both of you happy. choose well :).
You’re dead on with your points I just have to rant about something real quick. One of my pet peeves is referring to a spouse or fiancé as partner. I mean yes technically husband and wife each contribute 100% as a partnership, but the pick haired degenerate lunatics sullied this term for me. Every time I hear one’s significant other referred to as partner, I always think “what the fuck are yall 1860s bank robbers or something?” Saddle up pardner we gots us a train to catch!
Sorry to take away from your excellent point of a husband’s role, and the importance of a wife’s role as household director/COO, just had to get that one out there
when i say partner, that's exactly what I mean.
in retrospect, I'm glad we never married.
:)
I'm in my thirties and I'm right there with you. I sympathize with my parents who pushed me to the college route because they saw me getting better opportunities with a college degree than they had without one. And then I graduated into the "New Normal" that was the Obama economy. Thanks, O-bummer. I spent a lot of time in academia being told I needed higher degrees to even be hired in my field, when all I wanted was to finally be gainfully employed.
Do I have regrets? Yes. Do I think that I can encourage the ladies in the generation below me to consider Making Courtship Great Again? I hope so. I think that's a good starting point.
My parents meant well too & genuinely thought college/career etc was best for me (& my sister). I did career switch in my early thirties specifically because I wanted time for a personal life, but it was still a rat race, plus I felt I had to “prove” myself after leaving career 1.
Still time in your thirties, but best to really prioritise. I did build a good personal life, but found dating difficult.
Yes, exactly! I think the key is to be so awake at an early age that you can operate just outside the system. That would take being raised by awake parents. Get married young, husband seeks out very high paying trade skills (college not needed), wife has children and home-schools, live within their means and accumulate zero debt. With proper planning, this can create abundance.
Ouch. Sounds crampy.
All while working like crazy too. LOLZ.
But seriously, to a significant degree, this entire fraud has been unknowingly perpetuated by people pleasers. However, the more of us who wake up, well globohomos' power meter goes down. Way down. Good wins.
The abundance of competent fools they once ruled over to do their dirty work are being replaced by incompetent fools as we speak. Hilarity ensues. At times. But mostly sadness. The point is, I think this is part of some plan. Like maybe there's a bunch of us around the world who will all be part of some serious house cleaning that generations and generations and generations will benefit from.
I could have written a big portion of this. My mom was a homemaker and I really appreciate it. She always acted like we were poor (now I realize she was thrifty) and never lacked for any needs (wants were a different story).
My life now is exponentially better since I've been unemployed and a homemaker for a year. I did almost all that I do now with having a job and life sucked in many ways, mostly being short on patience with my son, who needed it most. "Having it all" doesn't mean one has true happiness.
Oh, and while I wasn't super smart, I skipped from major to major in college, trying to find something I'd want to spend the rest of my life doing. The degree that worked best for me was culinary. I'm better with using my hands and abhor sitting behind a desk all day. No thanks!
I am certainly a hands-on person myself. I love gardening and physical work, including the physical work of caring for children, which is what I do for a living! We humans are not meant to sit in a cube all day.
Oh, same here! I worked for years because it took us years to have a child, and I even worked after he was born. I set us up financially so we could afford for me to quit working. It gets tight, and I hate having to dip into savings, but I am working on getting out of that rut.
Boy is this resonating with me. Oddly I find myself physically unable to sit still now that I am older.
The big lie of feminism is that women can be as good at being a man as a man is... and that is bullshit. I will never be as good as a man in certain areas (ie physical strength), nor do I want to be. I like being a woman and to tell me that I am inferior for not wanting to be more like a man (ie wanting to be a stay at home mom instead of a CEO) is a lie from Satan.
True feminism is valuing the characteristics of women (ie, nurturing) as equal to men's characteristics, and understanding that a society that equally balances the two sets of characteristics is what brings us healthy, happy and functional children.
Feminism was always psy-op, the first step of many down the road to where we are now, where the WEF is trying to convince us to accept trans-humanism. We have to reject these notions and go back to being the people God intended us to be -- and that means women being proud of our feminism.
It’s so true. Women were designed by millions of years of biology, to make and care for babies. Our linguistic skills and ability to read microexpressions well are because we pick up on pre-verbal cues, to better care for and communicate with children.
Motherhood has been equated with failure (in the corporate or academic world) when it is really the opposite. So many well-off, barren women going through the agony of fertility treatments. Spending a lifetime trying to “not” get pregnant then wishing desperately for what they were designed to do.
Encouraged by “feminists” to have sex like men. Each new partner steals a bit of what is sacred and holy—the ability to conceive and bring forth new life.
And then these poor girls (thinking they are doing the educated thing) end up getting abortions because it’s “not the right time” or the “right guy”.
It’s been a cruel and evil thing to watch as it plays out. So many Gen Xers alone and childless. With “careers” that weren’t very important.
Not every women has to choose between having a family or being a lifesaving, gifted surgeon. Most are choosing between having a family or a cubicle job.
I LOVE your ted talk. It is 100% real and true. I am a first grade teacher, and I see it. My husband and I always worked opposite...he has been a second shift guy for our entire 24 year marriage. It hasn't been easy, but we practically never had babysitters. When we did, it was usually family we asked. I honestly shyed away from "girls' night" outings and events that didn't include the kids with rare exception. I'm not a martyr. I'm GLAD I did. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family. Now that my kids are in college and high school I realize what a gift I was given in being able to be there for everything. I guess my whole point is that somehow society made it a bad thing to be stuck at home with your kids. I disagree. It's the most wonderful thing. I also realize not everyone is able to have that. I get it. But making it that one is less of a woman if she doesnt have a career is so misguided.
I agree. I regret I wasn’t there more for our children. I had a useless husband, who didn’t want to work, but he certainly didn’t help out at home either. I opted to stay, kept relatively quiet to not put our children through the emotional trauma of divorce and custody battles. I often worked 7 days a week, when I should have been there for our children. I tried to be mother, father, earn enough to send our children to private schools and colleges. I now have a 45 year old son who won’t talk to me. Who believes I was never there for him. He is right. I was young, stupid and blind. When I woke up, it was to late. Often one or both spouses puts on a good facade during the dating, early marriage before children. Then the children are used as a bargaining chip. Children must be the focus, and you need to make sacrifices. But it takes two spouses to make the sacrifices.
Yes, see my comment about "but men, that means you can't be assholes."
This topic is huge. And I regret I have only one updoot to give.
This is the greatest threat to satan and his minions.
Want to talk about power? Women hold the keys to life, stable society and the future of a nation. Destroy women and you destroy (a moral) society. Destroy a moral society and you have Sodom and…destruction.
You can always tell what is life giving, joy filling, healing and constructive to we humans (and important to God) by what satan attacks. The lies told (and lives ruined via sexual revolution, abortion and careers) is staggering when you think about it.
Go figure God knew what he was doing. /s
There is a lot of work to do to un-brainwash women and turn this around. God help us.
Unwin did a dissertation on this decades ago… the main finding from looking at 80+ cultures in history was that “sexual freedom always led to the collapse of a culture three generations later”.
Here’s an article summarising his work (it has further links).
https://www.kirkdurston.com/blog/unwin
Yes, I’ve heard this but haven’t studied it. Thx for the link.
In the immortal Words of Rush...”Right on, right on, right on!”
My gf started out the same way as you. Went and got her mba, career focused, somewhat new age feminist, etc. Now she's realizing the value of taking on a more traditional role, even though we don't have any kids. She's said the same thing as you. Having it all is q complete fucking lie. Glad to see the shift happening.
Wise words. I worked and felt guilty when I was at work and guilty when I was at home. It was not worth it. Plus, there is something to be said for a person actually concentrating on the household and finances. The chaos involved in two people working stressful lucrative jobs is extremely expensive not just emotionally and spiritually, but financially. I can point to so many examples of people in their 50's and 60's who are far better off financially than dual income people.
But men, it means you can't be assholes. Women have nowhere to go when they are financially dependent on drunk or abusive (or both) men. Man up.
You speak true. I would add that women need to step up also when they make the choice to stay home, like many of the good women commenting here are. I made the choice to work and earn for both of us. She stayed home but fell into drinking and drugs because of her frustration with being "stuck at home." Like, drunk while the kids were awake. I won't describe the things I came home to, and I admit I enabled it because I felt guilty about her being unhappy. We were divorced before she realized she needed help. On the bright side, I changed my work so I could be with my kids most of the time (her lawyer pulled some shit so she has some custody,) and I'm earning more and spending more time with the kids than any chef in history, I'm pretty sure. No question, it is all about the character of the party in question, but men aren't always the drunks/abusers.
Good reminder. My husband has struggled but he is a good man. I have never feared for my or the kids' safety. I have thought about what it would have been like if I felt I couldn't get out if I really really needed to. Thankfully he is OTW and has been for some time. Took a lot of hard work.
Great subject. This needs to be discussed as a society.
Another outcome of this movement is that one parent must make an extreme amount of money to afford a house in a decent neighborhood. Teachers, firemen, police type salaries with a mom at home would mean you live in a trailer park or the lowest of available single family homes alongside multi families in one home, crack houses, all kinds of crime. Not sure if the home prices went up because of the dual income or the homes just got bigger and fancier to reflect what two incomes could now afford. Most neighborhoods from the 50s60s are small and simple homes.
And yet plenty of families live with less than an extreme amount of money but still with one parent home. I’m not trying to be argumentative but it’s really all about choices. It’s about making the necessary sacrifices. Too many really don’t want to sacrifice. They say they wish they could stay home but they want to stay home and still have the same lifestyle. And that’s just not how it works.
Knowing I would make less money than my husband for a good 5-10 years until our (still to-be) kids get older, we bought a condo that is the size of a nice ranch, but $60k cheaper than the smaller, older homes that we looked at. It’s our dream home and very affordable even with the HOA. We were so blessed to find it!
isnt it interesting that maybe half of liberals are women... yet none of them stand up to the blatant eradication of women from sports, politics and the workplace by the extremely fringe mentally ill trannies... how can those leftist women be so blind to see that they're getting set back hundreds of years by their silence...
Pres Trump said same last nite at his Fla rally. he asked WHY aren't women fighting for this? i've had this very same question....why aren't patriotic women fighting for this, not just libs? i've been in both situations, having to work as a single mom n later a stay at home mom, which imo i think is preferrable for all in the fam. taking a 'man' job ('70s) meant more $$$, tho back then it also came w lotta verbal abuse for being a woman in a man's world. i fought hard for women's rts in my very small way.
Wahhhhhhhh. Muh transphobiaaaaaa.
No bitch, it's not transphobia. We aren't afraid of anything. We are PISSED. You are so afraid of of pissing of your legit bubble that you are supporting putting women in harm's way. There is such a cognitive dissonance with these liberal women.
Satan told Eve the same thing. It's genuinely tragic.
I've been saying for years that feminazis absolutely destroyed my life. Hang them. I'm a woman BTW.
After my first daughter was born we tried day care through a family member. Didnt last long, i hated the fact that someone else would be imprinting on my daughter all day. I got a better paying job so mom could stay home. Wouldnt change it for the world
This. When I returned to work after my first and saw the snuggles he was getting at daycare from strangers (they had a camera system you could login to to watch your kiddo’s room), a good thing really, I wept. The sense of protection and jealousy and feeling like a prisoner in the cube while I pumped bottles of milk that the daycare could then provide - awful. Pulled him within a year.
You 100% made the right choice.
Women used to be fired when they got pregnant, openly paid less than men for the same job, sexually harassed and insulted in the workplace without consequences, and not even considered for jobs they were capable of doing. We've gone too far in the opposite direction now, but I have heard a number of horror stories (some told to me by men) about the way women were treated at work in the 1950s-70s.
I agree that ideally, women should not have to work full-time outside the home when their children are young. But without those who fought for women to have the right to work, to be allowed access to higher education, to be considered for traditionally male jobs if they could do them, and to be treated decently in the workplace, it wouldn't even be an option. While couples should work out whatever financial arrangement best suits their family, women shouldn't automatically be at the financial mercy of their husbands, especially when their husbands are abusive. And men shouldn't have to bear the sole responsibility for their family's finances, especially when there are circumstances, such as illness, that leave them unable to do so.
I am a Boomer. After being home with us six kids, my mom decided to go to work when she was in her 40's. Initially, she started working as a waitress in a local restaurant. I was the fourth of six kids. She got me in under the wire (I was only 12 and was underage) to work in the kitchen as a salad girl. I was paid through her salary. It wasn't my first job, though, since I used to babysit in the neighborhood but only during the day.
I know my mom wanted to prove she could take care of us if something happened to my dad. She had to help take care of her own mom (who had no other skills but raising kids and cooking) and her siblings after her own dad died at the age 42. The year before social security was implemented. So the family had NO money coming in at all. She was the oldest of 5 and ended up working as a secretary to help the family out.
Mom left the restaurant after about a year and started to work as a temporary secretary. She could type and she knew shorthand, too. Her skills before married and she continued to work after she married while my dad was fighting in WWII.
Needless to say she walked into an office (in the early to mid 1960's) where she was going to be a secretary and a man in the office turned around and said "Here comes Grandma".
She had to put up with a lot of sexual innuendos and comments while there. I never knew until I was an adult how they treated her. And it was not very nice.
I have been saying this for years. Mother with a college degree who sacrificed it all to stay home with my child. I refused to buy into the "lie". Two thumbs up to your comment!
I have a Master's worked so hard for it...successfully got it b4 my LO came....many obstacles. My mom told me to get it (boomer) and I wasn't happy and confused I wanted a family. I didn't want to go back to work. I woke up. I have it all...I just choose her. My heart is with no one else but them .
I was homeschooled K-12 along with my five siblings by our dear mother. She realized basically everything you said in the late 80s and made sure she was the one to stay home and raise us.
I’m praying the Father so blesses my little family, as 10+ years married and waiting almost the same about of time for our first is very trying. May you be granted the patience and stamina it takes to fully steward another human. I encourage you to read through the book of Proverbs over the next 12 months, the wisdom it contains to teach us how to parent is not found anywhere else <3
I hope you are blessed soon.
Hi yeet. Get yourself to an ivf doctor. I was married 20 years with no protection - we were hoping they would arrive. I'm 43 with my first after 7 cycles of ivf and alot of money and 3 miscarriages -8 years of doctors. If I hadn't listened to my husband and waited till we thirty and financially secure before deliberately trying alot of this heartache would have been needless.
Not all women after 30 have good eggs. I finally had a lucky miracle month. Thank God.
My point is it took a toll on me. Those injections are no joke ( gained 20 lbs with each try) and fertility help works better when you are still young. Pregnancy as well. My health is a mess now.
Read the book "taking charge of your fertility" by Toni weschler if you aren't ready for medical intervention. It is a fertility Bible. First thing ivf doctor asked was if I had charted temperatures and cycles for a year. He wanted to see them.
Thanks for your testimony, but I am not called to do any medical intervention through the hands of doctors. My brief experience 8/9 years ago was extremely unpleasant and they could do nothing further. The Father has used my life to help others regardless of if I am able to bear children. They are not a requirement for me to do the will of the Father. I’m not making my life all about having a child, in that way they become an idol.
I am extremely blessed even without children, the time my marriage has had to grow during this season is something I cherish.
Oh well if you re happy then all is well.
Castor Oil packs on your ovaries, with heat pad every other day for several months while not trying to conceive. Do it daily in your luteal phase if you’re trying to conceive. Never do it while on your period. Also take Vitex as a supplement, it helps regulate your hormones and keep your cycle consistent. DIM also helps regulate estrogen. Maca Root as well is known to help fertility. Best wishes! I too don’t trust doctors. I’m always researching alternatives.
I feel like God does this to us because He knows our heart. He knows what we really care for and do t care for. It takes years sometimes, but we “ fall off track”, get distracted, and sometimes we fail. But here’s the thing...those are only our perspective views. That whole time we are being directed down a path. So we weren’t fall off the tracks or failing...God was setting us up to be the person we need to be. Now many people disagree on this view, because they are still in the “car crash”. But that because they haven’t seen God’s plan yet. And if they could give in to His love, and let go, to start trusting Jesus...it all starts to get better.
I’m happy for you. God bless you sister. 🙏❤️👍
Yes, the good Lord made me, so He knows I’m stubborn as a mule and have a proud streak. I needed to be humbled and “poked awake” by struggle, and that is the only way I could have found my true self. That process also deepened my faith.
Yes. Women need to return to their traditional roles of staying home, tending to their home and raising the kids while the father goes and gathers resources like money, firewood, whatever the case may be. That's how things were for a long long time and only recently things have been different because of feminism. There is nothing that will make a woman happier than raising kids and looking after her man.
Anyway. Guess who was behind the women's liberation movement? George Soros.
You are absolutely right. I would be at my happiest with a baby strapped to my back in the garden, teaching my other little ones about soil types, planting depth, plant care, etc. then going in to make a stew for my husband before he came home from a long day of work. That just sounds like HEAVEN. It isn’t slavery or servitude, it is LOVE.
Exactly! There is nothing wrong at all with what you just said. But if you said this in public you'd be called sexist. The reason behind the feminism movement is to degenerate western society to make it easier for Bolshevik communism to take over, that's what it all comes down to.
Well said sister. I've been raised in a culture that despises the idea of having children and being "chained down" to them. Thanks for sharing.
God bless you and your family. Please keep speaking out. You have a great first hand perspective and so many young women and parents need to hear this
Whoooo Yep that’s a big ok’ wallop in’ yep. My babies are now 16 and 19 and I sacrificed it all to be with them 100% of the time. No regrets.
My grandmother, whom I loved dearly and herself was the stay at home mother of seven said this to me on her deathbed (when my babies were 9 and 12) “Never regret how much time you spend WITH them”. She held my hand and smiled. I promised her I never would.
God bless you and your littles. The days are long and the years are short- time is a thief.
100% feel the same. My 9 month old is breastfeeding in my arms as we speak. She will be home schooled.
In laws keep telling me to get a job so we have 2 incomes for a big house and they will raise her. Lol. Over my dead body. I'll eat mud and live in a hut first
I was one of the original latch key kids. My parents divorced when I was about 4. My mother was a business owner and worked long days and partied at night. Sometimes I wouldn't see her for a week or more at a stretch. I understand exactly what you mean. Remember that your kids won't always be little and there is plenty of time to go after your dreams when they are grown and gone. Wish you the best
You are the future of womankind, and humanity. God bless you.
"Thank you for coming to my TED talk." was my favorite part. Not because I think that the rest of it was shit, but on the contrary, because this is a great message that should be by and for Leftards.
They are on a mission to run off a cliff. Normally I would not care.
But they are trying to take us with them.
It’s crazy where my wife and I live… when she takes the kids to the playground during the week, she’s the only Mom there, everyone else are nanny’s.
You're already an amazing mom! Congratulations on your new little Patriot :)
Thank you fren 😊
Your children are your most important asset. Money comes and goes, but your children are yours forever.
Amen, Sister. Everything has it's season, and nurturing children is critically important not only for them but for mom's mental health in all of her life. Nothing hurts worse than regret for things NOT done in their season. To have been emotionally and physically present, accepting and loving to your little ones. That is the quandary, though. If a mom is a homemaker, and emotionally distant from her kids instead of responsive, detached instead of a warm hugger, then her children suffer. I can honestly say that if my mom had been a fulfilled person who worked, but came home and showed me she really loved me, it would have been better than her home all the time obviously unhappy in her life and barely tolerating my presence. I was the loneliest child and I have spent a lifetime trying to understand.
I love this thread. We’ve learned from our mistakes…the best thing we can do is teach younger generations to do prioritize parenting.
Women do not want to work in an office but con themselves into it because of media propaganda. All this while being told babies are parasites.