I really don't know what to think of this.
As many of you know we've been in divorce discussions for over a year. She came to me an hour ago and said "Well, things are getting down to the wire ... and ... honestly... I dont want this ..."
And so I told her I will always love her and I meant all of my vows and that ultimately I just want her to be happy and I dont want her just deciding to be with me and then changing her mind again in a few weeks.
She says that she was thinking that way because of just how hard everything has been on us over the last few years. And as I told her, through sickness and in health, through rich and poor.
She then told me , laughingly, "will you take me back?"
She then proceeded to tell me she wants me to move in with them when they move in the coming weeks. I was like "yeah but we've been sleeping in separate rooms for more than six months now?" and she said "well? we'd have to change that, obviously."
I quite honestly don't know how to take all of this. God got me into this kind of acceptance phase, if you will, and now she hits me with this. So now I'm mentally like, yeah, of course, I love her .... but why did God have me go down that road in the first place?
NO clue what I'm supposed to be doing or if she's going to just change her mind in the coming weeks. But I promised to keep you all updated.
And quite honestly, I really think this is because so many of you have been praying for me. I really do. God is making moves behind the scenes and I'm floored. Today has really honestly felt like I'm in a dream.
EDIT: WE ARE NO LONGER IN SEPARATE ROOMS. She's sleeping in the room with me tonight.
Ya'll... I dont even know what to say. Glory, glory, glory. Hallelujah, this is a true testimony of God's power.
"but why did God have me go down that road"...... maybe that road was for your wife to walk down. It sounds like he carried you. God bless.
I've experienced that feeling too. I've been at peace with things that would normally stress me so I take the time to thank the Lord for whatever his plan is.
Like the Footprints poem…
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord Scenes from my life flashed across the sky, In each, I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints; other times there was only one.
During the lowest times of my life I could see only one set of footprints, so I said, "Lord, you promised me, that you would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most would you leave me?"
The Lord replied, "My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
so powerful. during our conversation, when I asked her what made her suddenly change her mind and come to the conclusion, she said she had been praying a lot and just felt like a light turned on and she saw it all differently. She said she's spent a lot of time reflecting.
you're exactly right
Faith and love SHOULD be challenged. A bridge’s strength is best judged from the other side.
I heard something that stuck with me the other day. A guy was saying a little old woman came up to him and said, "Son, if the mountain was smooth, you wouldn't be able to climb it."
Never heard that one, it's good. Thanks.
This.
You beat me to it!
Congratulations. Wish you all the best and hope it works out
AMEN!
AMEN
Might have simply been about God helping her see the light, and a lesson for you to stay strong and have faith.
oh my gosh. I think you are right. God was testing me to see if I would remain faithful to him or if I would curse him. Much like how Job remained faithful all through his losses and never gave in to Satan's temptations.
As you so clearly stated, prayers for your situation were certainly supporting and embracing your family with God's love.
I continue to pray that your marriage is beyond the precipice and is now on the path towards full recovery.
God Bless your family. 💑💕
Please keep us posted.
Very true. This has absolutely strengthened my faith. I cant even say 100%, it's like a million percent. I used to joke about people who said "one hundred and ten percent" and now i understand it lol. I feel completely strengthened by Christ.
I am so happy to hear that God answered your prayers!
God Bless you both. I hope you eventually tell your wife how many of us here had you in our prayers.
Amen
I told her today.She said "you talked about this on the internet?" and I said "I needed some kind of outlet...". Then I told her about the outpour of the community here and the prayer and she said, and I quote, "Praise Jesus, he continues to provide..." then she paused, sighed, and went totally silent. I'm kind of dumbfonded. SHe's always been Chrirstian but has not been supportive of our relationship so this has all been really crazy.
I certainly hope this changes your relationship with your wife for the better going forward.
Dear God, please continue to aid and heal this man, his wife, and family. May these trying times make the good times yet to come, even more blissful. Amen.
Amen!
Amen
Awesome to hear fren.
u/#prayer
please continue to pray, thank you. It looks like this is going to become another testimony of Christ and His almighty power. "God got us through that."
"...but why did God have me go down that road in the first place?"
Perhaps this road wasn't yours alone to travel, it was your wife's, too.
With God in your life, anything is possible. Take it one day at a time. May God bless both of you.
reminds me of the revelation verse that says "and his name was faithful and true."
He is faithful and true, 100%. I have prayed about this for a year and a half now and have consistently screamed for the devil to flee this home and that I would never give in.
God saw me through all of this. He put me through the trial. This is now going to become my testimony. I am so beyond amazed. I really don't have words for it. It's the glory of God.
Amen, fren.
I think the literal time of your wife spending time with God is what allowed him to open her eyes. I recognize that same moment in my life. When you are deceived, things seem ok that you never should do.
I’ve known two relatives to have issues like this where the wife or the husband just has to move out for a time. Prayer seemed to work and it came out better than before the separation for the one couple. The other situation where I was not close to them, I don’t truly know but it doesn’t seem better. Unfortunately I feel like they need to deal with unforgiveness first.
Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive. Then the past will not keep you there and your joy will overflow in the present. You will not be weighed down by hurts that are likely to happen.
Wow. Once again prayers work. I can't tell you what to do but I do believe God wants families to stay together. But absolutely I'd put my foot down about never doing this again. Us women are starved for manly men. Just saying. ❤️🙏👍
Relationships are hard under the best of circumstances. Whatever is at the core of her change of heart, I pray that she's sincere.
You have to be firm about your expectations at this time. If her behavior is due to any substance abuse, That ends now. Any falling off the wagon is unacceptable. You are in charge at this point. Believe me, that is best for both of you.
Lurked your last few posts and I'm glad to hear about your happy ending. I hope she is sincere.
you will need to both of you get on the same page regarding your relationships with GOD. I recommend you pursue a joint approach to prayer, interacting together and with God. Not all churches/christian assemblies do this well, you'll need to be diligent together in seeking that relationship. you are each other's wingman, if one of you fails, you both fail. fail at what? your mission, if you dont have a mission that God is going to bless, i recommend you get one. i recommend Matt 28:18-20, Mark 16:15-20, Luke 24:46-49. Once you do what God commands as a mission together, you'll discover you need to educate yourselves to accomplish it. this will be the most fun and rewarding thing you ever do. get use to seeing God manifest (miracles) himself. you may not be equipped to start, i can provide pointers (esp in scripture).
Maybe get Christian counseling? My pastor was great with this stuff.
Good for you bud!
Sounds good, but PLEASE proceed slowly and with extreme caution.
Genuine reconciliations can and do happen. (Let's hope this is what happened in your case.)
But, non-genuine reconciliations also happen, especially if/when one party realizes how difficult it is to "be out there by themselves" (living alone, with less $, and/or in a less desirable home/apartment and having to do and decide EVERYTHING by themselves; or finding out that the dating scene sucks [i.e., that they aren't as attractive to the opposite sex as they believed themselves to be or that the {single/widowed/divorced} "grass" on the other side of the marriage fence isn't greener than the spouse they'd planned to toss aside] and/or finding out how much they stand to lose $-wise and material-asset-wise).
'Not trying to be a doomer, but just sayin',. . .
When you let go, it gives the other person the chance to notice your energy isn’t around them and they feel that loss. I think she felt your pulling back. I hope you have some friends you can talk to because you really need to decide not what is easiest or what you “should” do but instead what is best for you as a person. God would want that for you!
I certainly agree with this. She saw I was in that acceptance phase; building my own hobbies, spending time with myself, with the kids, doing my own thing. Seems like she saw that I was able to move on (after a year and a half) and she realized she didn't want that for us.
That’s exactly what happened. Don’t go back to who you were. Build those hobbies. I really hope this is true reconciliation and am happy for you. Women do like strong independent men- to a degree. You became that and if you fall back all the bad habits that lead here will return. Women want a man they almost can’t get. Then have more children.
Were you the one who was married to a shitlib woman who seemed reconcilable?
absolutely not. She's Trump all the way - both republican and christian
Alright. I had you confused with someone else on here who was sleeping on the sofa, ready to give up on his crazy family. I'm glad things are going well for you then.
Oh goodness, no. We've been sleeping in separate rooms, however. But now we are sleeping in the same room again :) Prayers to that individual going through that. After going through this, I have faith God will bring him through it.
Not sure how both of you were as far as open to God and our Lord Jesus, but if you two were not as much….this is a great opportunity to tell her the steps God has placed you on. About acceptance. And trusting Him. And how you feel prayer is how this may be coming back together. Just a great time to place Jesus right where He belongs. Right in the middle of a husband and wife. You both hang on to Him, and you’ll be right as rain. 😁
My man, when you ask you why God would take you down this road…he needed to show you your OWN path, with or without your wife. This is your journey and she needs to be on the ride with you, on your path, as a leader. That’s what God showed you. He took you into the wilderness and laid it out plain for you so you could lead from there. Now your wife wants to follow you. Stay in the lead, and follow God from here.
One man, one woman, one flesh, one road. God is good. Amen.
James 5:16, fren, always remember!
Thanks for this encouraging update! 🥳
Just guard your heart bro- if she could throw away your marriage so easily and then flip back to wanting you again, there’s no guarantee in a few months or years she’s not going to do that exact same thing again.
Tough situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPcR621vuNc
Gosh that was beautiful
I'm glad you liked it. Just call me an old romantic.
God Bless you and your wife and live happily ever after under the Graces of God of what He has brought to you two AND your marriage...
Extra prayer for you two for seeing the light!!!!! AND YES, it takes BOTH!!!!!
We did this evening.
Things we've come up with:
-not dwelling on the past -staying more positive despite any negative situation -focusing more on God and reading scripture together -building hobbies together including her love of the beach and my love of hiking
Time for piña coladas and getting caught in the rain🍹🏖️
Go to church brother, bring your wife. Marriages are under attack by the enemy, spend time with God as a couple and surround yourself with other people that want to see your marriage succeed.
If they can find a church! We’ve been churchless for years. It strengthened our faith because we are in the age of laodacea. Many many churches are pulling in the cultural rot of DEI.
i don't think this is a good idea.
I am happy for you, remember to keep working on yourself, hold your head high.
I'm glad, I wish I had prayer warriors when I needed them.
I moved on, getting married August 8th but 3 heartbreaking relationships and a hard divorce later...
At least I got my kids back and I pray this woman won't betray me after we are married.
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Maybe God was also sending HER down a road of realization of how she truly feels about you. We are all on a path of discovery and learning. It's a possibility.
Yep. Said today "I dont see myself with anyone else - ...I can't live without you..."
Havent heard those words in a very long time.
Pray together often.
Completely agree
PRaise King Jesus! God is awesome and he doesn’t lie about prayers, he answers them, Amen! HalleluYAH!
GLORY!
He certainly does. This really goes to show me exactly what I've been telling myself for so long now - it's not on my time but always on God's time. We pray and don't always have immediate answers. It's important to remain steadfast.
Bro, having been thru 3 relatively short term separations (each was about 4-6 months, spread out over the course of 20 yrs) before the 4th and final separation from my wife, I will tell you to take it all one day at a time. There's a lot of trauma there individually, and shared trauma between the two of you, as well. I suggest going to marriage counseling with a psychologist akin to someone of Dr. Jordan Peterson's caliber and cut, but it isn't necessary, as long as you both are 100% committed to making the marriage work. It took time for the marriage to get to this point, and it will take time to get past this in order for you both to heal, individually and as a couple. If one, or the both of you aren't fully committed, it won't work, no matter whether you find a counselor to help, or not. Just keep in mind that sometimes, splits happen and sometimes it's best to stay split (as is my case). Whatever the future outcome may be, that's a "future question." Focus on the here and now. Thoughts and fears of what "may be" will still be there, just make sure you keep them as quiet as possible so you can make an honest attempt at healing yourself, each other, and the marriage in general. Also, keep your Faith in God and His Plan and everything will work out accordingly.
Good luck my brother, and God Bless.