Going to visit my woke family, looking for suggestions for what wokesters like to do.
🗣️ DISCUSSION 💬
So far I have:
1.Get booster shots and have a cardiac event
2.Look up local sex offenders and vote for them
3.It's women's history month. We could dress up in a vagina costume with dildo shoulder pads and "smash the fash"
4.We could groom my underage nephew to get on hormone blockers and cut his dick off.
Any other suggestions would be great. I really want to have a time to remember.
Bring the following with you:
A rainbow flag and offer to put it up on their garage for them.
Co-exist pins
A bag full of crickets (as a side dish)
Instructions on how to install the CNN app on their devices
A collection jar w/ the Ukraine flag on it
Your vaxxx card
Biden-Harris bumper stickers
Receipts from recent purchases of gas and/or eggs so the fam can rejoice in how wonderful woke times are
Two cantaloupes, stuffed in your shirt. Tell them you're entertaining the idea of transitioning.
A friend, wearing a BLM shirt, tatt'ed to the 9s, wearing an ankle monitor
Bag full crickets as a side dish 😂😂😂omg, so funny!!!
Don't forget to sit on your girlfriend's lap while you're visiting, that's how all the cool woke bois roll. Be sure to get several facial piercings, you can't have too many.
A suggestion for those with facial piercings would be to utilize ball bearing magnets by placing one on the exterior and interior of the lip. This can create a unique and visually striking effect, which may garner attention and admiration of your woke companions.
I guess our family has been doing it wrong all these years. We've always just played a game of Monopoly which led to fighting and screaming and silent treatments.
Might I suggest there are much much much better board games.
My fam has gotten really into board games the last few years. Carcassonne hunters and gatherers and raiders of the north sea have both been hugely enjoyable.
Seriously frens, there are so many awesome games now. Throw away your family wrecking normy games.
Uproot for Carcassone.
Is cribbage worth it? My wife and I do not play card/board games at all but everytime I see a cribbage set I think it is probably the only one we would truly enjoy
Add Pinochle to your four player list and you have a perfect evening. Bridge is fun too, but Pinochle is the King of Card Games imo.
Hmm, maybe not the "king," but certainly the queen AND the jack.
(That's a little pinochle humor lol.)
I also highly recommend cribbage for two players and strongly support the recommendation for metal pegs. Spend the extra five bucks or whatever and keep your cribbage board for a lifetime.
Cribbage is a great game, grew up playing it with my folks on an old school board with those plastic pegs mentioned in another comment. Thankfully none have ever broken. It's been around for 50 years now & we still use that board all the time.
Ooh good point, I will he oh so careful at my next cribbage match!
or get this version https://monopoly.fandom.com/wiki/Socialism_Edition
Scrabble. Using a scrabble dictionary, not the whole wiki dictionary which is woke crap.
🤣😂🤣😂
Sorry, it's spring. Crickets are out of season. But Mayfly season is right around the corner! The wings are especially crispy with just a hint of cellophane.
Farm raised crickets are way more ethical bro.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
lmao the collection jar
Get a Trump or MAGA hat and watch the shit storm. Make sure you record it so we can all see it later.
Omg. Epic comment ^
A. Take Plant Based Meats....
B. Take ""Celebrity Meats""....
C. Take a BLM Flag and just Nail it on their Porch, don't ask permission....
D. Take Pictures of Prominent Communists and Criminals like Karl Marx, Stalin Lenin, Pol Pot, Nelson Mandela, El Che, MLK, Hugo Chavez, Mao, etc., and replace Family pictures with them, again, Don't ask....
E. Take an Assortment of Dildos, All Sizes, all Colors, just hand them out to everyone....
F. Take ""Pussy hats"", hand them out....
G. Dye your hair One side Yellow and the other Blue, Not Blond, Actual Yellow....
H. Cut your Facial Hair to look like the ZigZag Rolling Paper Guy....
I. Take Crystals and Super Glue, access their Cars and Glue them to the Middle of the Steering Wheels....
J. Take lots of Adult Diapers, hand them out....
K. Shit on their Sidewalk, if they complain, them them it's a ""San Francisco Treat""....
L. Take PETA, Biden, Bernie, stickers, put them on all the cars....
M. Order Vegan, Glucose/Lactose free Pizzas, then liberally add White sugar before giving it out....
N. Take ""FURRIES Costumes"", hand them out to everyone....
O. Take Post It Notes, and stick them to everything ""Petroleum Based"", with those words on them....
P. Scoff at everything that is not ""Electric or Battery Powered""....
Q. Regardless of the complaint, always retort with ""That's Capitalism or That's what a Capitalist would say""....
Enjoy the show....
Its a San Francisco treat made me spew!!
Same here...someone remembers the old Rice-a-Roni commercials.
And wear a mask while doing all of the above..
I laughed hard at these, especially D, I, and O.
You could have a career writing for sitcoms.
speaking of sitcoms...have been looking for some old ones for my grandson to watch, so if anyone has any suggestions. think Cheers might be fun since Woody is in the news;)
Last Man Standing
thanks! he really likes Tim A., so that will be a good one.
Keep in mind television is programming. Yes even those old ones were a form of programming of the masses. Project MK Ultra. Those card games mentioned above may help your Grandson with those critical thinking skills many youth of today are missing. Or gardening is great hobby, we are soon going to need to be growing our own food...
i agree/remember the old shows & definitely have to be careful with them too. we don't watch a lot of TV, but live on an acreage no neighbor kids/and inside a lot this winter, so need some variety. also think it helps to paint a picture of a time; was easier to explain the 50s-60s after he watched a few episodes of the Dick Vandyke show. I remember loving Bewitched as a kid, but too much 'magic' to watch now.
Fun! Woody was great in Cheers. Also, Rules of Engagement and Friends were fun. And King of the Hill, Last Man Standing, and According to Jim.
SOAP, Season 1, maybe 2....
SOAP is the show that taught me what 'gay' meant, my poor midwestern mom had to explain all the drama to me😸 i do remember it being funny though.
That 70s Show.
Dumbass
ThanQ, that's a high Energy complement....
Haha, literally just listing the news!
Wear your hair in a "man bun". If you don't have enough hair for it, wear a wig that does.
Use bongos. It's old school. Gives cred.
Talk about the need to return humanity to neolithic living standards.
Talk about the glorious tech utopia being developed all around us.
Talk about the need to return to the stone age and the glorious tech utopia in the same sentence.
Like all of these. And maybe, as he enters, loudly declare "tonight's menu is 100% organic non-GMO vegan right?" Then list out about a thousand allergies. Oh, and make sure dining chairs are 6' apart.
OP, bring a tape measure!
All my food is vegetarian.
Casually say, "I have this friend—he's an AI—and he says..."
Neolithic is a great idea. At dinner time, also casually say, "At home, all my utensils are hand-chipped obsedian, imported from Ethiopia."
Ethically sourced
Declare your pronouns.
Yes!! And then go one by one 'round the room and ask everyone for their preferred pronouns.
Dye your hair green and cry, cry, cry.
Need additional information. Your side of the family or your wife’s? If it’s yours wear a LGBTQ or I support Ukraine t-shirt. If it’s your wife - well. I’d keep my mouth shut cause I wouldn’t want to hear for the next 20 years how I pissed off her family 😝 Good luck!
With a username like "dipshit" and stating "I really want to have a time to remember", probably doesn't matter. Ol' dipshit is goin' in guns blazing and I love it. I'd also love a post-game report
;)
I would suggest two games that would truly make you popular.
When I play these games with my intelligent, highly educated liberal family members, I am truly amazed at the idiotic garbage they can come up with.
🤣🤣 I regret I have but one updoot to give. That's brilliant.
Bring them a house gift of 'The Eat a Bug Cookbook' or 'Creepy Crawly Cuisine".
They are family. Just leave them alone.
They will have their time of humiliation when they learn the truth.
The best thing you can do it wait for then and be humble.
Out of all the conversations I've had with leftists in the past few years, I think I've only had one or two of them not make shit up about my beliefs.
If we are to assume that they treat others how they want to be treated, be sure to include plenty of ad hominem attacks, straw men, and red herrings in your conversation.
say " I hear that Ukraine is really kicking some Ruskie ass, what do you hear?
Sit down and watch The View 😂
Bust out some TDS. They all love that shit!
Watch literally any Netflix show or movie
& be able to repeat scenes verbatim, yet have no clue about the world around them🤦♀️
Seriously almost every show I've seen on Netflix has a gay character
Feign illness and stay home...
Complain about GEOTUS? Seems like that is their only conversation topic, and gay stuff...
Get out and about. Go places you couldn't go before without showing your medical credentials. If it's snowy, ski or take trekking poles. Have fun.
Hit up the janitorial supply store and bring industrial garbage bags and go clean the neighbourhood. Bonus points if you clean up a homeless camp, apologizing to everyone there along the way. Be sure to offer to take the garbage to the dump, yourself, but instead dump it by the mayors house on your way home.
WAIT WAIT you're right. Recomputing.
OK, so, how about this. What about painting rocks with rainbow colours? ALSO, maybe there's a monument in town? Maybe to some "so and so" white supremacist personality from the civil war? Maybe we can't have the monument removed and melted down for BLM, but, could we paint it a rainbow in acryllic?
This is the kind of top-flight brainstroming we need to push the fash back where they belong, frog.
The Kindness Rocks Project® https://www.thekindnessrocksproject.com/
"Raise awareness"
Don't forget the blue and yellow face paint.
Play “Try to grab the cops gun.”, it’s an oldie but goodie and fun for the whole family.
Wear your Che T-shirt and barre.
drag queen story time show
Why don't you bring them one of those "We believe" lawn signs if they don't already have one.
If they are "woke" why are they doing all that crazy stuff...if you plan on doing any of those activities, I think you would have a better time if you just stayed home...do a video call and save yourself some heartache...
Inlove your humor.
My family is conservative, but they are still not awake like me. I would suggest simply enjoy them. They are tour family.
Dont bring up politics, wokeness or anything real. If they bring it up and look to you, ignore it if they press you tell them, our beliefs are so different on every level it doesnt nake sense to have this discussion.
By doing this you win, they will know you feel intellectually superior. It might piss them off but better than arguing with them all day.
If they press, tell them you love them too much to discuss subjecrs that will make them angry.
Wokesters cannot have a rational conversation, no reason to attwmpt it.
Body piercing and hair dying
Tell them you now identify as a cat. At various times during the visit, drop your pants and wash your genitalia with a wash cloth.
If they appear alarmed, just say meow, don't mind me, I would normally lick myself, but at present I've got a bad back from being chased by a dog!
They'll understand!
Sounds good, I can work with that!
If you have to engage in conversation, just talk about mindless bullshit TV shows, movies, or sportsball, and they'll think you're one of them.
Eat crayons n roll their shit into balls.
That may be too advanced for them.
Have a Virtue Signalling contest.
Talk about orange man bad
Burn their house down for the cause of social justice.