I don't mean to make this sound too simple but it is. A former drinker here. The leading cause of stress is indecision. Decide to stop drinking and do it. Make it clear in your mind, "I am a non drinker". Find things to do that keep you busy. I work on my house. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy being sober. I personally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Agreed. When I quit drinking, it was a very firm decision that I was done. I told the people around me as well and that accountability was helpful. It’s weird to say it was that simple because fighting the temptation and learning how to live without drinking was hard. But at the same time, having that clear, firm line in my life made it simple. There was no middle ground of “only drink a little” or something like that.
Don't try to do it on your own. Just having someone else that is holding you accountable, even someone anonymous, can be a miraculous boost to the process. It's very hard to remember why you want to stop when the cravings start to kick in, and it's good to have someone on the outside who can ground you.
I have heard good things about the AA program, and there is usually a chapter or two within driving distance of most people who aren't extremely rural. The only people who tend to get turned off are people who get weirded out by spirituality, but I suspect that isn't a problem around here.
It's a long process that involves ups and downs. The most vulnerable days for relapse are when you've been successfully clean for a couple of weeks and are feeling good about things. Negative emotions can trigger it. Positive emotions can trigger it. Physical pain can trigger it.
Seriously, whether you go the formal route or not, it's extraordinarily hard to beat with a decision alone. Finding someone who can anchor you to your own motivation and remind you of why you want to stop is going to be the fastest, quickest, and most surefire boost to quitting I could recommend.
Yes when i stop for a good 4 to 5 days i start feeling good and forget about the horrible hangovers. The day starts out good then i think "hmm maybe just tonight i'll drink" my mind will make up excuses. It's like a devil inside me.
thanks for your post. Maybe ill try AA. I'm pretty shy though. I don't know if I could speak up in the meeting.
I’ll just tell you some things that helped me. 5 1/2 years alcohol free. I had a friend to talk to on my rides home for 2 weeks to keep me from stopping and getting anything. Distract yourself when urges hit. One day at a time. And set goals for easily obtainable day marks. One day, 3 days, a week, 10 days, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month. A week or 2 can be hard to imagine, but a day or two to get to the next milestone day is doable. Take all the money you would have spent on booze every day and put it in a jar to spend after a few months as a reward. Depression and anxiety can happen when you stop, if you don’t feel quite like you used to after a few months, consider getting some help. Treat drinking as something you used to do. I used to play football in high school, I still know how, but it’s not a part of my life any more. Also get some lacroix type drinks. If you believe hard enough you can almost imagine that it’s a beer. Good luck!
Usually you aren’t forced to talk, it tends to be a low pressure environment. It should help to remember everyone is there with the same type of problem. Might be worth checking out. Hope it helps.
"Every minute I am sober and not drinking, is another minute added to a better habit."
It's a habit. I have to suffer the pain of not continuing the habit of drinking. I have to expect it will suck the first few weeks of not drinking. I've been sober before and hitting the gym and i always loved it. I JUST NEED TO SUFFER THE PAIN OF CHANGING THE HABIT.
Kombucha is good, also coconut water. I have a rule that when I feel the urge to cush a brew I have to have a coconut water first and by the time I finish it I'm usually too full for the brew. I still want it but the craving is gone and I feel like a brew would make me feel gross. Works great as long as there's coconut water or equivalent substitute in the fridge!
Fighting with yourself is so true. I'll go back and forth in my own head all day long. I'm not going to drink tonight. I'm not going to drink tonight. But I want to. But I won't. Then I end up stopping at the liquor store on the way home. Some days I'll pull back out without even going in. Then I'll be extremely angry and mad at myself/life all night. :/
I like Tom McDonald. Thanks fren. That song rings true. So does your message. I didn’t drink yesterday or today and worked out instead. Feels so much better
That’s totally cool. No one expects you to say anything other than introducing yourself. The important thing is that you are there. You are with others who have their struggle, too. You are with others who are living one day at a time. Try to check out different meetings. Same location may have multiple meetings- each with their own vibe. Been to some that were like a Sturgis Bike Rally and others that were like a country club social. You will find a meeting / group that clicks with you. Be patient and be patient with yourself. You have made one of the best decisions of your life.
Right on. If you have found a meeting, tell a friend who will support you in your sobriety / journey. Yours odds improve when your share your ambition with them. There are people cheering you on even if you cannot see them right in front of you. Look at all the comments, prayers, wisdom, insights your post created tonight.
I’m glad I posted. I prayed a few times and didn’t drink yesterday. Today I made a roast and worked out. It was effortless for some reason. Either I just got fed up or it was something else?
I did pry a few times and didn’t drink today and worked out instead. I feel great. Not sure if it was prayer or just me fed up with drinking. It was effortless today!
It’s good to have the thought that you need to change, but if you don’t follow it up with an action, it doesn’t become anything than a good idea.
And the action to stop doing something comfortable (like drinking) is going to be uncomfortable, by definition.
Keep that in mind when evaluating making new choices related to stopping drinking. It’s not going to be comfortable, but you’re making this choice for a reason.
I've been drinking nearly every night since my mother passed away.....15 years ago this September. I think the answer to your question is to find out why we think we need to drink.....because we already know, it doesn't make stuff go away. Mom passed on my 51st birthday, so yeah, I'm pushing 66. One thing I do know, if enough people pray for you, without your knowing it, you will notice a change. Strength my fren.
Man if my mom died i'd be really bad. That's what I'm fearing now that she's getting older. She is my only person that loves me unconditionally. If i don't get my shit straightened out I'll be in a bad situation when she dies. I hope you and I can stop this shit.
Honestly your mother is supposed to die before you. My family my father died at 53, my mother died at 67, a brother died at 59 and a brother died at 25. You deal with it and move on.
Thanks Fren. Didn’t drink yesterday or today and today I worked out and made a healthy dinner. I prayed a couple times but idk if that’s what did it? It was so easy today. Like I had zero cravings
I lost my Mom last year 271 days ago. I'm 608 days sober.
For how to quit, it took me 4 tries but I went to an alcohol detox. They monitor you, give you meds to keep you stable and after they let you out after 4 days or 2 weeks, it comes to down to willpower. Some supplements like ashwaghanda, GABA and Vitamin D3 help, and I still smoke THC. God Bless, things are a lot better sober. I was a 5th of vodka each night heavy, physically addicted drinker (I think I went to Patriots.win at the time for help too). And if I can do it brother, I believe you can too!
Oh and you can't "moderate" drinking as an alcoholic, if you have a drop of it, it will turn into a daily habit almost immediately, that's why it took me 4 tries. I would say the First Step is admitting you have a problem but the more important Second and Final Step is to admit you can never touch a drop again.
I stop drinking cold turkey when my daughter was born. I drank heavily. I only will have a rum and Coke on vacation. Otherwise, I do not drink. I will pray for you pede. It will not be an easy process but you can do it! Get help if needed.
Thank you for your message. I wish I had a wife that would keep me in check. But the problem is my drinking is the blocker from me getting a wife. I think I need to get help.
Go to meetings, get a homegroup, get a sponser , work the steps... If your admitting to every other night your probaly drinking daily and in the mornings when you can. DO NOT SUBSTITUTE ONE ADDICTION FOR ANOTHER. Buy or download for free the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Apply it to your life.
Good for you! I need to start talking to God. I still am not a full 100% believer but I need to seek Him out. I just have an issue with being consistent. Once i feel better after not drinking for a few days I stop caring and then go right back on to doing whatever.
I had my moment of clarity and asked to forgiven. A huge weight was lifted from me that day 25+ years ago. Never asked to have anything come
easy and sobriety takes work. Have been I the best Christian? No. Would I recommend Christ? Definitely.
You shouldn’t take medicines unless they are natural. Don’t let anybody talk you into drugs that have side effects like making you want to kill yourself or others… for me, I took a 30 day hiatus from any stimulant or drug. I wouldn’t even drink coffee, no aspirin or Benadryl. I even stayed away from sugar as much as I could which meant no juice or soda or anything. 30 days of that will change your life and you can decide what you incorporate back in after that… not the other way around. It was a life changer for me.
You can purchase dried Amanita Muscaria mushrooms online legally.
Boil them in distilled water (3/4) + lime juice (1/4) for 2 hours and drink in small amounts and build up over time.
The active component acts on the GABA receptor like Alcohol and anti-anxiety medication. This has been used successfully to get people off both alcohol and benzo addiction.
In the absence of alcohol or benzos when you go sober this can help wean you off alcohol and cover your GABA bases.
It is an extremely potent hallucinogen in high doses and a pleasant anti-anxiety and mood lifting medication in small doses. Just be careful with it but I strongly believe it's a potent tool for addiction to GABA based drugs
There's all kinds of places. AmanitaMuscariaShop.com is one.
Just do your research and be careful. You have to do the boiling to convert a compound into the good compound. And do small doses incrementally and work up
Don’t know if this will help, but ever since I started taking 1000 mg of niacin (vitamin B3) at night for restless legs, I’ve had no desire for drink. It may be worth a try.
I also take a B-complex and the same amount of vitamin C with it, sorry. The B3 will give a warm flushing sensation that some don't like, but at bedtime I find it very calming. Mine is not a scientific but simply a personal observation. It is inexpensive and harmless to try even if it doesn't help. Another observation, I also find my dreams much better. I think of it as being a dietary supplement which benefits the central nervous system and brain.
I don't know about drinking, because I haven't crossed that bridge, but with cigarettes, I just stopped buying them and went cold turkey, You can't consume what you don't buy ahead of time.
Topiramate - also reduces appetite, all carb cravings. Very low side effect profile. Ask you primary doc if he will let you try it, but if not a psychiatrist will. It blocks the neurochemical process of addiction and strongly reduces cravings.
Hey brother, I’m with you. I recently started going to AA meetings and it’s changed and still changing my life. There is support out there and even though we don’t know each other, I’d be more than happy to help you find the way.
Problem is i'm really shy and suffer from anxiety around people. That also is the reason I drink. I hate that I feel socially anxious. It's burdened me my entire life.
I will make a promise to you. Walking in is the hardest thing to do. I guarantee that. Attend a meeting, you will find the support you need. If not, get in touch with me and I’ll help!
Well I’m on day 2 no drinking and worked out and made a healthy dinner. It was effortless for some reason. Maybe I just got fed up with things. Thanks for reaching out. I hope I’m done drinking for a long time! I plan to work out from now on and eat good. Feels great tonight after working out!
I can promise you that there will be at least one other person in your meeting who drinks / drank because of their shyness / social awkwardness- that would have been me on many occasions.
Walking in the door will be the scariest / hardest part and then it’s over. You’re inside. You’re still alive and you did not shit your pants. If you know another alcoholic who is in recovery, ask them to take you to a meeting. One of the 12 principles of AA is to help other alcoholics gain their sobriety where and when possible. There is no judgement. You are surrounded by people just like you. I took a lot of comfort in that during early days of my recovery.
If OP is consuming 7-10 drinks a day and buying liquor by the handle, or going through 3-4 24 packs of beer, or drinking 10 or more bottles of wine a week, going cold turkey could be fatal.
Delirium tremens is a thing for long term hardcore drinkers. Only 5-10% of drinkers fall into that category, though.
I'm a cold turkey kind of person, though. I make up my mind and I'm done.
I smoked cigarettes for 7 years and quit cold turkey.
I was smoking 15 cigarettes a day minimum (would go through a pack each day but other smokers would bum cigs from me), and would smoke up to two packs if I was drinking.
Did the same thing with caffeine (no sodas or coffee for over a year), but I did start that habit up again intentionally after switching to OMAD (one meal a day). I do limit myself to two cups of black coffee in the morning most days, but occasionally will have an unsweetened tea if I go out to eat.
I experimented with alcohol for one year in my early 20s and got drunk every day. Was buying half gallons of Captain Morgan's (loved rum and coke) and Wild Turkey. I quit that cold turkey as well.
Now I'm in my late 40s and that seems like another lifetime. I do miss the focus nicotine gave me, though.
Ivermectin, seriously...start taking it on a regular basis and you will notice the desire to drink fade and dissapear. Prayer and determination will help too. Just giving you a testimonial it worked for me and I wasn't trying to cut back on drinking.
Do 75 Hard and commit to doing it correctly, I can pretty much guarantee it’ll make you stop. I completed it a week ago and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done, I was drinking every night since the beginning of 2020, literally getting trashed every night. In my opinion everyone should do 75 hard atleast once in their lives. The creator is a huge patriot with a podcast as well which is a bonus.
AA is free, anonymous, available around the world and has helped millions regain their sobriety. The recovery “industry” is worth billions. Think about it.
No it’s totally free, that’s one of the best things about it. It’s called 75 hard, it was created by Andy Friscella. (May have spelled his last name wrong).
I was literally going to start lifting weights this week, then monday came around, was solid and ready to work out after work. Then i started hating working and getting stressed, then comes the mind telling me excuses why it was okay to drink just tonight and to put off working out till the next week.
I know once I start working out I will stop drinking I just have a hard time starting.
One thing is stop setting a date to do it. We tend to always set our diet and exercise goals to start on Mondays but then there is always something that hinders that from happening. No more excuses. Start tomorrow. If you screw up, try again the next day. Don't throw everything out the window from 1 slip up.
Coming from experience I can empathize. Everyone’s resolve and reason is going to be different so unfortunately there’s no perfect answer, but something that helped me was a few good books and a devotional. The Untethered Soul was a great book to understand that you own your emotions, your reactions and your choice to find peace. Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules book was great just to take stock of myself and find ways to respect yourself again. Then just that YouVersion Bible app… there’s like a million quick hit devotion plans that fit any mood you may be in and I think that’s key. You’re not always going to be in a “I need to quit drinking” mood, sometimes it might be, I want to be happy or I want to feel less anxious. The plans they have typically last 5 days so you can bounce between what emotions you’re working on.
Lastly just like you’re reaching out now, you’re never alone and you’ve got people on here that are pulling for you. I’ll be praying for you fren
Problem is when I'm feeling better i don't read books like I know I should be doing to get better. I have the books ready to read on my iPhone i just don't do it. Do i really have to hit rock bottom before i recover? I always prevent myself from hitting rock bottom. I hope i don't have to hit it to change. ugh. THanks fren.
Every alcoholic / addict has their own rock bottom. Mine may different than yours. Not trying to scare you, but ask yourself how bad do you want your rock bottom to be?
Focus on what you are gaining, not what you are losing. Keep your eye on the doughnut and not the hole. Pray. Give thanks.
Do you meditate? The trick is learning how to crush those voices before they start. Meditation is the best thing to help control your mind in order to build healthy habits. And it is very important when you do decide to have a drink not to beat yourself up about it. Having a friend or someone to talk you out of it can also help, like a life-line. Instead of grabbing a drink call a friend, go for a walk, read a book, just find healthy habits to replace it with. And from what I've read that I agree with, get a dessert or some treat to look forward to instead of having a drink, like a reward for you not drinking. Little psychological tricks that can help build strong resistance is all you need. Start with just 1 thing that you think you can do and master it then add another thing, baby steps. Good luck.
I tried to change my pattern this week. I was full on ready to start working out and eating healthy. Then the work day ended and my mind started making excuses why it was okay to drink "just tonight".
Get your blood work done. You’re likely low in vitamins. Your chance of relapsing goes down with a support group like AA. Worked for me 25 years ago. Keep a schedule to keep your mind busy. Start doing those things that you were too hungover to do before. Build on these things. It’s a process. You have made a breakthrough in being honest with yourself that drinking has more control over you than you do over it. You’re not on an island… there are hundreds reading your post who are so happy for you Fren. Get in a group. Work your plan.
A tip to go with the other great comments is to enjoy a non-alcoholic drink in the evening instead. Tea, vitamin water, flavored water, sparkling water, etc.. “I will enjoy this nice hot/cold glass of _____ tonight.”
Switch to water. I drink water socially like I did with beer. It’ll help ease social anxiety by pacifying your urge to drink by actually doing it but with water. Oh and get the Quit That! app. Put in “Stop drinking - not a drop” and put how much on average you spend a day. It’ll be awesome to see your days since using go up while your $$ saved also go up. Win win. You can do it, brother!!
Ayahuasca ceremony is a deep heal but Allen Carr books especially the audio book was great for me. The work of Dr. Hawkins (the psychologist) not the Cia eggplant. Good luck God bless and God speed
I wasn't super religious either,never went to church or anything. I became more religious as I prayed and quit drinking. I was also baptized very early in the process,my pastor in the church I just started attending,thought it was very important.
Drink more water. Every other drink needs to be water. Chug it down if you have to. Hydrate or Headache. (it’s the headaches that kick my ass) Hydrate or Hangover.
Are you an alcoholic? By this I mean do you obsess about getting that next drink? (learned this from some alcoholics in a line the other day) Some people are genetically predisposed to craving alcohol. If this is the case then you need serious help. You will need the support of others and even then you may still fail. Can you honestly not drink? I put alcohol in the same class as chocolate as far as craving. It’s a nice to have, not a must have. For some people it is a must have.
Before you take that next drink, ask yourself if going for a walk might be better. It’s kind of like stopping cursing. Use substitution.
Also, before you drink, try to remember how miserable it will make you later. Make better choices.
Try to slowing down your consumption as well. Also, a lot of great things are happening now. Try to start looking on the bright side so you’ll stop self-medicating so much.
I had this battle in my mind monday that i was going to stop and that i hated the hangover. But somehow my mind made excuses to drink "just tonight i'll quit later".
I'm pretty sure i'm an alcoholic, my dad is and I'm sure I got it from him.
So, these alcoholics that were in line with me. They apparently came from a nearby coffee house where they met on weekends for AA and then went over to the Mexican food place that was in the same strip center for lunch. Great Mexican food place. Too bad the restaurant founder, which they knew, died of alcoholism. Apparently a lot of alcoholics end up dead.
I never understood it because I’m not addicted to alcohol. This is why I was asking them questions. I have wondered to myself about the DTs, I was like what is that? (yes, I’ve been drinking too much, but I don’t obsess about having a drink) A good example is I once saw a beer commercial and was like, hmmm, a beer, that sounds like a good idea. But on second though, yuck, I didn’t really want a beer after a drink and then poured it out in the sink. That’s why I was asking them questions. One of them said that one can be an alcoholic and never had a drink. Their bodies are just genetically predisposed to obsessing about alcohol.
My dad was alcohol dependent, but I don’t know if he was an alcoholic.
So the question is, do you obsess about that next drink? Then you need real help and need to talk to someone. A problem shared is a problem halved. Simply by talking to alcoholics you might do yourself some good. They can also help you understand your condition and help you.
Premature death or institutionalization (usually prison) is the final stage. It does not end well. 👆🏼Solarsavior is spot on about the craving. I had been sober about 7 years and was still miserable. I have depression and anxiety. Alcohol was how I managed them. Seek a medical professional. You are healing your body as well as your mind/spirit. You do not need to go this alone. In AA or a similar 12 Step you will get a fresh perspective on craving.
Look up the Sinclair method or TSM. They’re on Reddit under r/SinclairMethod. How it works: you see an online doctor that prescribes Naltrexone (a drug that inhibits your brains reward response to alcohol). It’s highly effective. People have had a lot of success with it! My husband was a heavy drinker for 15+ years. He’s newly sober without the side effects of withdrawals. (He had quit once before cold turkey and the withdrawals were really bad) Start by cutting back, then work on breaking the habit. Replace your nightly drink with a seltzer. And don’t forget to pray. Prayer works. God bless
Keep up the momentum! I quit drinking a little while ago, and in my limited experience it seems like the cravings happen again at 1 week, and 1 month. The longer you can abstain, the easier it gets! Your friends on here can encourage you and hold you accountable if you need it! Keep praying! God bless
Thank you. I have a feeling I will keep it up. Today i ate a healthy smoothie in the morning ( i usually skip breakfast ) and have been drinking tons of water. Question, how could I have you frens keep me accountable?
I would make a new post for your 1st week of sobriety in celebration, and then again for your 1st month, 6 months and then 1 year. That gives people the opportunity to congratulate you and also normalizes “not drinking” when so often the opposite is the norm
Make a point to get out in nature. Go for hikes, walks, bike rides, eat lunch at a park, whatever. God's creation is full of amazing details that can absorb your interest. Beauty is all around you, if you pay attention. You can enjoy this beauty and positivity freely as God's gift, because He loves you. Your mom does too. These are positive things that come into your life unasked. All you need to do is look out to appreciate them.
Separately, exercise is a good thing, if you don't do it already.
Only an act of providence can (completely) remove the compulsion. Try AA for one day and then try it for one more. 29 years this Nov. 01. By God’s Grace, I’ve strung quite a few of those days together. Good luck Fren!
AA. My mom got sober at 43 by the grace of God! She went to AA which provided her a spiritual base and tools do deal with all the crap life threw at her. She remained sober the rest of her days (38 years!) until she died 3 years ago. AA works. My mom also worked with many other people sharing her experience, strength and hope which the program provided. Good luck queue. I’ll pray for you to find the strength to walk away from the drink.
I don't mean to make this sound too simple but it is. A former drinker here. The leading cause of stress is indecision. Decide to stop drinking and do it. Make it clear in your mind, "I am a non drinker". Find things to do that keep you busy. I work on my house. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy being sober. I personally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I was the best. 😊
Agreed. When I quit drinking, it was a very firm decision that I was done. I told the people around me as well and that accountability was helpful. It’s weird to say it was that simple because fighting the temptation and learning how to live without drinking was hard. But at the same time, having that clear, firm line in my life made it simple. There was no middle ground of “only drink a little” or something like that.
I never made that decision, it just eventually happened for me. I realize though that my path is unusual.
I did this but with smoking
Don't try to do it on your own. Just having someone else that is holding you accountable, even someone anonymous, can be a miraculous boost to the process. It's very hard to remember why you want to stop when the cravings start to kick in, and it's good to have someone on the outside who can ground you.
I have heard good things about the AA program, and there is usually a chapter or two within driving distance of most people who aren't extremely rural. The only people who tend to get turned off are people who get weirded out by spirituality, but I suspect that isn't a problem around here.
It's a long process that involves ups and downs. The most vulnerable days for relapse are when you've been successfully clean for a couple of weeks and are feeling good about things. Negative emotions can trigger it. Positive emotions can trigger it. Physical pain can trigger it.
Seriously, whether you go the formal route or not, it's extraordinarily hard to beat with a decision alone. Finding someone who can anchor you to your own motivation and remind you of why you want to stop is going to be the fastest, quickest, and most surefire boost to quitting I could recommend.
Best of luck, truly.
Yes when i stop for a good 4 to 5 days i start feeling good and forget about the horrible hangovers. The day starts out good then i think "hmm maybe just tonight i'll drink" my mind will make up excuses. It's like a devil inside me.
thanks for your post. Maybe ill try AA. I'm pretty shy though. I don't know if I could speak up in the meeting.
I’ll just tell you some things that helped me. 5 1/2 years alcohol free. I had a friend to talk to on my rides home for 2 weeks to keep me from stopping and getting anything. Distract yourself when urges hit. One day at a time. And set goals for easily obtainable day marks. One day, 3 days, a week, 10 days, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month. A week or 2 can be hard to imagine, but a day or two to get to the next milestone day is doable. Take all the money you would have spent on booze every day and put it in a jar to spend after a few months as a reward. Depression and anxiety can happen when you stop, if you don’t feel quite like you used to after a few months, consider getting some help. Treat drinking as something you used to do. I used to play football in high school, I still know how, but it’s not a part of my life any more. Also get some lacroix type drinks. If you believe hard enough you can almost imagine that it’s a beer. Good luck!
👆🏼this is the way.
Usually you aren’t forced to talk, it tends to be a low pressure environment. It should help to remember everyone is there with the same type of problem. Might be worth checking out. Hope it helps.
I think this is what I needed to hear.
"Every minute I am sober and not drinking, is another minute added to a better habit."
It's a habit. I have to suffer the pain of not continuing the habit of drinking. I have to expect it will suck the first few weeks of not drinking. I've been sober before and hitting the gym and i always loved it. I JUST NEED TO SUFFER THE PAIN OF CHANGING THE HABIT.
Kombucha is good, also coconut water. I have a rule that when I feel the urge to cush a brew I have to have a coconut water first and by the time I finish it I'm usually too full for the brew. I still want it but the craving is gone and I feel like a brew would make me feel gross. Works great as long as there's coconut water or equivalent substitute in the fridge!
Fighting with yourself is so true. I'll go back and forth in my own head all day long. I'm not going to drink tonight. I'm not going to drink tonight. But I want to. But I won't. Then I end up stopping at the liquor store on the way home. Some days I'll pull back out without even going in. Then I'll be extremely angry and mad at myself/life all night. :/
Super powerful song by Tom Macdonald talking about fighting the same demons. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fgo0V52o10U
I like Tom McDonald. Thanks fren. That song rings true. So does your message. I didn’t drink yesterday or today and worked out instead. Feels so much better
That’s totally cool. No one expects you to say anything other than introducing yourself. The important thing is that you are there. You are with others who have their struggle, too. You are with others who are living one day at a time. Try to check out different meetings. Same location may have multiple meetings- each with their own vibe. Been to some that were like a Sturgis Bike Rally and others that were like a country club social. You will find a meeting / group that clicks with you. Be patient and be patient with yourself. You have made one of the best decisions of your life.
I'm seriously considering it now. Funny, I'm about 1.5 hours away from Sturgis.
Right on. If you have found a meeting, tell a friend who will support you in your sobriety / journey. Yours odds improve when your share your ambition with them. There are people cheering you on even if you cannot see them right in front of you. Look at all the comments, prayers, wisdom, insights your post created tonight.
I’m glad I posted. I prayed a few times and didn’t drink yesterday. Today I made a roast and worked out. It was effortless for some reason. Either I just got fed up or it was something else?
Well done. You proved to yourself that you can go a day without the booze. Add another day onto that Fren.
Once you want to quit as much as you want xiden out of office you’ll have no problem.
Good luck man, you can do this. Also pray. That helps a lot.
I did pry a few times and didn’t drink today and worked out instead. I feel great. Not sure if it was prayer or just me fed up with drinking. It was effortless today!
Dude keep that up working out releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel a natural high and it will make not drinking even easier!
So happy for you.
Prayer works †
You dont need to. You can just go sit there and listen. You will talk when you are ready.
Ok maybe I'll try it. (probably not) UGH.
It’s good to have the thought that you need to change, but if you don’t follow it up with an action, it doesn’t become anything than a good idea.
And the action to stop doing something comfortable (like drinking) is going to be uncomfortable, by definition.
Keep that in mind when evaluating making new choices related to stopping drinking. It’s not going to be comfortable, but you’re making this choice for a reason.
You can also find AA meetings online so you participate (or just listen) from your sofa.
Oh nice I should look for that!
I've been drinking nearly every night since my mother passed away.....15 years ago this September. I think the answer to your question is to find out why we think we need to drink.....because we already know, it doesn't make stuff go away. Mom passed on my 51st birthday, so yeah, I'm pushing 66. One thing I do know, if enough people pray for you, without your knowing it, you will notice a change. Strength my fren.
Man if my mom died i'd be really bad. That's what I'm fearing now that she's getting older. She is my only person that loves me unconditionally. If i don't get my shit straightened out I'll be in a bad situation when she dies. I hope you and I can stop this shit.
Honestly your mother is supposed to die before you. My family my father died at 53, my mother died at 67, a brother died at 59 and a brother died at 25. You deal with it and move on.
You are a strong person.
We're praying for you, pede. Don't be hesitant to ask for prayers too.
Thanks Fren. Didn’t drink yesterday or today and today I worked out and made a healthy dinner. I prayed a couple times but idk if that’s what did it? It was so easy today. Like I had zero cravings
I lost my Mom last year 271 days ago. I'm 608 days sober.
For how to quit, it took me 4 tries but I went to an alcohol detox. They monitor you, give you meds to keep you stable and after they let you out after 4 days or 2 weeks, it comes to down to willpower. Some supplements like ashwaghanda, GABA and Vitamin D3 help, and I still smoke THC. God Bless, things are a lot better sober. I was a 5th of vodka each night heavy, physically addicted drinker (I think I went to Patriots.win at the time for help too). And if I can do it brother, I believe you can too!
Oh and you can't "moderate" drinking as an alcoholic, if you have a drop of it, it will turn into a daily habit almost immediately, that's why it took me 4 tries. I would say the First Step is admitting you have a problem but the more important Second and Final Step is to admit you can never touch a drop again.
I have a similar story. I found kratom removed my desire to drink.
I stop drinking cold turkey when my daughter was born. I drank heavily. I only will have a rum and Coke on vacation. Otherwise, I do not drink. I will pray for you pede. It will not be an easy process but you can do it! Get help if needed.
Thank you for your message. I wish I had a wife that would keep me in check. But the problem is my drinking is the blocker from me getting a wife. I think I need to get help.
Boom! 1st step right there! You CAN do this, brother.
You Can do it! Focus on getting yourself healthy and a wife and things will come when the time is right. Prepare your fields...
If you do go to meetings, do NOT date within the group. Wife shop elsewhere.
Go to meetings, get a homegroup, get a sponser , work the steps... If your admitting to every other night your probaly drinking daily and in the mornings when you can. DO NOT SUBSTITUTE ONE ADDICTION FOR ANOTHER. Buy or download for free the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Apply it to your life.
The Lord help me be sober when I was asking for peace and clarity in my life. About a year and half sober 😊🙏🏻💙🇺🇸
Good for you! I need to start talking to God. I still am not a full 100% believer but I need to seek Him out. I just have an issue with being consistent. Once i feel better after not drinking for a few days I stop caring and then go right back on to doing whatever.
Thank you. It is a bit ironic tho I’m early in pregnancy and feel incredibly hungover with vomiting and nausea all day. 😂
You got this friend! Praying for you
Thank you so much. It means a lot. Your baby is in good hands!
I had my moment of clarity and asked to forgiven. A huge weight was lifted from me that day 25+ years ago. Never asked to have anything come easy and sobriety takes work. Have been I the best Christian? No. Would I recommend Christ? Definitely.
You shouldn’t take medicines unless they are natural. Don’t let anybody talk you into drugs that have side effects like making you want to kill yourself or others… for me, I took a 30 day hiatus from any stimulant or drug. I wouldn’t even drink coffee, no aspirin or Benadryl. I even stayed away from sugar as much as I could which meant no juice or soda or anything. 30 days of that will change your life and you can decide what you incorporate back in after that… not the other way around. It was a life changer for me.
You can purchase dried Amanita Muscaria mushrooms online legally.
Boil them in distilled water (3/4) + lime juice (1/4) for 2 hours and drink in small amounts and build up over time.
The active component acts on the GABA receptor like Alcohol and anti-anxiety medication. This has been used successfully to get people off both alcohol and benzo addiction.
In the absence of alcohol or benzos when you go sober this can help wean you off alcohol and cover your GABA bases.
It is an extremely potent hallucinogen in high doses and a pleasant anti-anxiety and mood lifting medication in small doses. Just be careful with it but I strongly believe it's a potent tool for addiction to GABA based drugs
This is super interesting. Any idea where I can order them?
There's all kinds of places. AmanitaMuscariaShop.com is one.
Just do your research and be careful. You have to do the boiling to convert a compound into the good compound. And do small doses incrementally and work up
Prayer! You know we will all lift you up brother
Don’t know if this will help, but ever since I started taking 1000 mg of niacin (vitamin B3) at night for restless legs, I’ve had no desire for drink. It may be worth a try.
Interesting. Just straight up B3 only? I have a b-complex i take but it doesn't do anything.
I also take a B-complex and the same amount of vitamin C with it, sorry. The B3 will give a warm flushing sensation that some don't like, but at bedtime I find it very calming. Mine is not a scientific but simply a personal observation. It is inexpensive and harmless to try even if it doesn't help. Another observation, I also find my dreams much better. I think of it as being a dietary supplement which benefits the central nervous system and brain.
I think i will order some.
Do not take 1000mg flushing niacin and also drink within 24hrs, it will cause liver problems quickly
I am praying for your success. I have no personal experience. I have been told that 12 step programs work. God bless you.
Thank you.
I don't know about drinking, because I haven't crossed that bridge, but with cigarettes, I just stopped buying them and went cold turkey, You can't consume what you don't buy ahead of time.
Topiramate - also reduces appetite, all carb cravings. Very low side effect profile. Ask you primary doc if he will let you try it, but if not a psychiatrist will. It blocks the neurochemical process of addiction and strongly reduces cravings.
The last thing I need is reducing apatite. I'm already skinny. But if it works I'm willing to try it.
Hey brother, I’m with you. I recently started going to AA meetings and it’s changed and still changing my life. There is support out there and even though we don’t know each other, I’d be more than happy to help you find the way.
Problem is i'm really shy and suffer from anxiety around people. That also is the reason I drink. I hate that I feel socially anxious. It's burdened me my entire life.
I will make a promise to you. Walking in is the hardest thing to do. I guarantee that. Attend a meeting, you will find the support you need. If not, get in touch with me and I’ll help!
Well I’m on day 2 no drinking and worked out and made a healthy dinner. It was effortless for some reason. Maybe I just got fed up with things. Thanks for reaching out. I hope I’m done drinking for a long time! I plan to work out from now on and eat good. Feels great tonight after working out!
Keep it up
I can promise you that there will be at least one other person in your meeting who drinks / drank because of their shyness / social awkwardness- that would have been me on many occasions. Walking in the door will be the scariest / hardest part and then it’s over. You’re inside. You’re still alive and you did not shit your pants. If you know another alcoholic who is in recovery, ask them to take you to a meeting. One of the 12 principles of AA is to help other alcoholics gain their sobriety where and when possible. There is no judgement. You are surrounded by people just like you. I took a lot of comfort in that during early days of my recovery.
AA can help. Try a meeting or two, there are meetings for different life stages, men, women, coed, smokers, no smoking, anything. Even zoom meetings.
If OP is consuming 7-10 drinks a day and buying liquor by the handle, or going through 3-4 24 packs of beer, or drinking 10 or more bottles of wine a week, going cold turkey could be fatal.
Delirium tremens is a thing for long term hardcore drinkers. Only 5-10% of drinkers fall into that category, though.
I'm a cold turkey kind of person, though. I make up my mind and I'm done.
I smoked cigarettes for 7 years and quit cold turkey.
I was smoking 15 cigarettes a day minimum (would go through a pack each day but other smokers would bum cigs from me), and would smoke up to two packs if I was drinking.
Did the same thing with caffeine (no sodas or coffee for over a year), but I did start that habit up again intentionally after switching to OMAD (one meal a day). I do limit myself to two cups of black coffee in the morning most days, but occasionally will have an unsweetened tea if I go out to eat.
I experimented with alcohol for one year in my early 20s and got drunk every day. Was buying half gallons of Captain Morgan's (loved rum and coke) and Wild Turkey. I quit that cold turkey as well.
Now I'm in my late 40s and that seems like another lifetime. I do miss the focus nicotine gave me, though.
Jesus
If you don't know him yet, get to know him.
Ivermectin, seriously...start taking it on a regular basis and you will notice the desire to drink fade and dissapear. Prayer and determination will help too. Just giving you a testimonial it worked for me and I wasn't trying to cut back on drinking.
How much Ivm did you take per day? I have lots of the pills I ordered from India
20mg
Thanks. Any specific time of the day you take it? Also did you cut out sugars or anything?
1/2 am 1/2 pm. Didn't cut out sugar, but I'm sure that would be a big help.
Also, 20 mg seems like a lot. The tablets I have are 12 mg. Any particular reason you went with 20 mg?
I used the horse paste, split it in 2doses
Do 75 Hard and commit to doing it correctly, I can pretty much guarantee it’ll make you stop. I completed it a week ago and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done, I was drinking every night since the beginning of 2020, literally getting trashed every night. In my opinion everyone should do 75 hard atleast once in their lives. The creator is a huge patriot with a podcast as well which is a bonus.
Looked it up. A program you pay for? I'm worried that i'd pay and fail.
AA is free, anonymous, available around the world and has helped millions regain their sobriety. The recovery “industry” is worth billions. Think about it.
No it’s totally free, that’s one of the best things about it. It’s called 75 hard, it was created by Andy Friscella. (May have spelled his last name wrong).
I was literally going to start lifting weights this week, then monday came around, was solid and ready to work out after work. Then i started hating working and getting stressed, then comes the mind telling me excuses why it was okay to drink just tonight and to put off working out till the next week.
I know once I start working out I will stop drinking I just have a hard time starting.
One thing is stop setting a date to do it. We tend to always set our diet and exercise goals to start on Mondays but then there is always something that hinders that from happening. No more excuses. Start tomorrow. If you screw up, try again the next day. Don't throw everything out the window from 1 slip up.
I worked out today. Didn’t drink since 2 days ago. I feel way better after working out. It was effortless today for some reason.
Coming from experience I can empathize. Everyone’s resolve and reason is going to be different so unfortunately there’s no perfect answer, but something that helped me was a few good books and a devotional. The Untethered Soul was a great book to understand that you own your emotions, your reactions and your choice to find peace. Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules book was great just to take stock of myself and find ways to respect yourself again. Then just that YouVersion Bible app… there’s like a million quick hit devotion plans that fit any mood you may be in and I think that’s key. You’re not always going to be in a “I need to quit drinking” mood, sometimes it might be, I want to be happy or I want to feel less anxious. The plans they have typically last 5 days so you can bounce between what emotions you’re working on.
Lastly just like you’re reaching out now, you’re never alone and you’ve got people on here that are pulling for you. I’ll be praying for you fren
Problem is when I'm feeling better i don't read books like I know I should be doing to get better. I have the books ready to read on my iPhone i just don't do it. Do i really have to hit rock bottom before i recover? I always prevent myself from hitting rock bottom. I hope i don't have to hit it to change. ugh. THanks fren.
Every alcoholic / addict has their own rock bottom. Mine may different than yours. Not trying to scare you, but ask yourself how bad do you want your rock bottom to be? Focus on what you are gaining, not what you are losing. Keep your eye on the doughnut and not the hole. Pray. Give thanks.
Taper off.
I quit cold turkey. Closed my eyes and, using the power of my mind, made it so.
I nearly died.
NAC also will help with the liver. Any questions I will try to answer.
I've got NAC. When I'm sober for 3-4 days i start feeling better then my mind starts making excuses to drink.
Do you meditate? The trick is learning how to crush those voices before they start. Meditation is the best thing to help control your mind in order to build healthy habits. And it is very important when you do decide to have a drink not to beat yourself up about it. Having a friend or someone to talk you out of it can also help, like a life-line. Instead of grabbing a drink call a friend, go for a walk, read a book, just find healthy habits to replace it with. And from what I've read that I agree with, get a dessert or some treat to look forward to instead of having a drink, like a reward for you not drinking. Little psychological tricks that can help build strong resistance is all you need. Start with just 1 thing that you think you can do and master it then add another thing, baby steps. Good luck.
I tried to change my pattern this week. I was full on ready to start working out and eating healthy. Then the work day ended and my mind started making excuses why it was okay to drink "just tonight".
Get your blood work done. You’re likely low in vitamins. Your chance of relapsing goes down with a support group like AA. Worked for me 25 years ago. Keep a schedule to keep your mind busy. Start doing those things that you were too hungover to do before. Build on these things. It’s a process. You have made a breakthrough in being honest with yourself that drinking has more control over you than you do over it. You’re not on an island… there are hundreds reading your post who are so happy for you Fren. Get in a group. Work your plan.
I've done my vitamins before but I don't trust their results. They always say i'm good. Thanks for your post fren.
A tip to go with the other great comments is to enjoy a non-alcoholic drink in the evening instead. Tea, vitamin water, flavored water, sparkling water, etc.. “I will enjoy this nice hot/cold glass of _____ tonight.”
Sadly that won't work for me, I drink way too much coke zero. It's the buzz i'm after and I hate it.
Switch to water. I drink water socially like I did with beer. It’ll help ease social anxiety by pacifying your urge to drink by actually doing it but with water. Oh and get the Quit That! app. Put in “Stop drinking - not a drop” and put how much on average you spend a day. It’ll be awesome to see your days since using go up while your $$ saved also go up. Win win. You can do it, brother!!
Ayahuasca ceremony is a deep heal but Allen Carr books especially the audio book was great for me. The work of Dr. Hawkins (the psychologist) not the Cia eggplant. Good luck God bless and God speed
Godbless you fren. Jesus loves ya, don't be too hard on yourself
Quit drinking 30 years ago,main thing I remember is lots of prayer and hanging out with people who don't drinkl
I will try to pray every day. Although I'm not super religious. I will try it though. Going to set an alarm on my phone to stop and pray.
I wasn't super religious either,never went to church or anything. I became more religious as I prayed and quit drinking. I was also baptized very early in the process,my pastor in the church I just started attending,thought it was very important.
I bet you only get hangovers on days you aren't drinking. I have a solution.
Logic is solid kek
Drink more water. Every other drink needs to be water. Chug it down if you have to. Hydrate or Headache. (it’s the headaches that kick my ass) Hydrate or Hangover.
Are you an alcoholic? By this I mean do you obsess about getting that next drink? (learned this from some alcoholics in a line the other day) Some people are genetically predisposed to craving alcohol. If this is the case then you need serious help. You will need the support of others and even then you may still fail. Can you honestly not drink? I put alcohol in the same class as chocolate as far as craving. It’s a nice to have, not a must have. For some people it is a must have.
Before you take that next drink, ask yourself if going for a walk might be better. It’s kind of like stopping cursing. Use substitution.
Also, before you drink, try to remember how miserable it will make you later. Make better choices.
Try to slowing down your consumption as well. Also, a lot of great things are happening now. Try to start looking on the bright side so you’ll stop self-medicating so much.
I had this battle in my mind monday that i was going to stop and that i hated the hangover. But somehow my mind made excuses to drink "just tonight i'll quit later".
I'm pretty sure i'm an alcoholic, my dad is and I'm sure I got it from him.
So, these alcoholics that were in line with me. They apparently came from a nearby coffee house where they met on weekends for AA and then went over to the Mexican food place that was in the same strip center for lunch. Great Mexican food place. Too bad the restaurant founder, which they knew, died of alcoholism. Apparently a lot of alcoholics end up dead.
I never understood it because I’m not addicted to alcohol. This is why I was asking them questions. I have wondered to myself about the DTs, I was like what is that? (yes, I’ve been drinking too much, but I don’t obsess about having a drink) A good example is I once saw a beer commercial and was like, hmmm, a beer, that sounds like a good idea. But on second though, yuck, I didn’t really want a beer after a drink and then poured it out in the sink. That’s why I was asking them questions. One of them said that one can be an alcoholic and never had a drink. Their bodies are just genetically predisposed to obsessing about alcohol.
My dad was alcohol dependent, but I don’t know if he was an alcoholic.
So the question is, do you obsess about that next drink? Then you need real help and need to talk to someone. A problem shared is a problem halved. Simply by talking to alcoholics you might do yourself some good. They can also help you understand your condition and help you.
Premature death or institutionalization (usually prison) is the final stage. It does not end well. 👆🏼Solarsavior is spot on about the craving. I had been sober about 7 years and was still miserable. I have depression and anxiety. Alcohol was how I managed them. Seek a medical professional. You are healing your body as well as your mind/spirit. You do not need to go this alone. In AA or a similar 12 Step you will get a fresh perspective on craving.
Look up the Sinclair method or TSM. They’re on Reddit under r/SinclairMethod. How it works: you see an online doctor that prescribes Naltrexone (a drug that inhibits your brains reward response to alcohol). It’s highly effective. People have had a lot of success with it! My husband was a heavy drinker for 15+ years. He’s newly sober without the side effects of withdrawals. (He had quit once before cold turkey and the withdrawals were really bad) Start by cutting back, then work on breaking the habit. Replace your nightly drink with a seltzer. And don’t forget to pray. Prayer works. God bless
https://www.sinclairmethod.org/
Thanks! Sadly my state isn’t listed but I bet I could order it online somewhere just like ivermectin.
Anyhow I stopped yesterday and worked out today and I feel 1000x better!
I don’t know if it was me praying a few times or what but it was super easy today for some reason. Had zero cravings
Keep up the momentum! I quit drinking a little while ago, and in my limited experience it seems like the cravings happen again at 1 week, and 1 month. The longer you can abstain, the easier it gets! Your friends on here can encourage you and hold you accountable if you need it! Keep praying! God bless
Thank you. I have a feeling I will keep it up. Today i ate a healthy smoothie in the morning ( i usually skip breakfast ) and have been drinking tons of water. Question, how could I have you frens keep me accountable?
I would make a new post for your 1st week of sobriety in celebration, and then again for your 1st month, 6 months and then 1 year. That gives people the opportunity to congratulate you and also normalizes “not drinking” when so often the opposite is the norm
Find something positive and soul building that reinforces the positive aspect of your life, and use that for motivation
I honestly can't come up with something.
I play video games to distract me from the hangover. Maybe i need new distraction activities because they aren't working.
Make a point to get out in nature. Go for hikes, walks, bike rides, eat lunch at a park, whatever. God's creation is full of amazing details that can absorb your interest. Beauty is all around you, if you pay attention. You can enjoy this beauty and positivity freely as God's gift, because He loves you. Your mom does too. These are positive things that come into your life unasked. All you need to do is look out to appreciate them.
Separately, exercise is a good thing, if you don't do it already.
Will be including you in prayers.
Only an act of providence can (completely) remove the compulsion. Try AA for one day and then try it for one more. 29 years this Nov. 01. By God’s Grace, I’ve strung quite a few of those days together. Good luck Fren!
AA. My mom got sober at 43 by the grace of God! She went to AA which provided her a spiritual base and tools do deal with all the crap life threw at her. She remained sober the rest of her days (38 years!) until she died 3 years ago. AA works. My mom also worked with many other people sharing her experience, strength and hope which the program provided. Good luck queue. I’ll pray for you to find the strength to walk away from the drink.
AA