Guys ...
I'm at the point now where I just don't even want to be living anymore. I either want to just die or check myself into a psych ward.
Every single day we are under spiritual warfare. There is an argument about SOMETHING that creates a massive amount of tension. Things are taken out of context constantly. Conversations are not normal - any conversation, words are pulled and those words are debated rather than the full statement of the conversation.
Today's argument was that my youngest daughter took my 20 year old daughter's coloring book and colored a fucking page in it. My wife was telling me how "terrible" this is because our youngest needs to understand boundaries and know that it's "not her property" and respect her older sister's things. I really didn't think it was that big of a fucking deal. The kid wanted to color a page. Cool. She's being creative. Turns into this whole fucking thing where my youngest is screaming and crying and my wife is screaming at her that she needs to "BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS!" and then my oldest yelling alongside it and I'm trying to break everything up. Then when I try to do so I'm "undermining and not backing it up." I've told my youngest that she does need to respect other peoples things and not take things without asking, that its not right, and that she wouldnt like if someone did that to her things. But it honestly feels stupid to even have this conversation. I discipline her just fine and she's a good girl. She just wants to be a damn kid. I've tried to have the conversation of not creating mountains out of ant hills with my wife. Doesn't matter, in fact it makes things worse, with things like "I'M NOT GOING TO DISMISS HER BEHAVIOR!". This is just ONE example of hundreds. I deal with insane shit like this on the freaking daily.
Hours later, she knocks on her door (per Mom's request) to tell her that dinner is ready, to which she screams at her and tells her "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" which leaves her crying again. I tell her this is not acceptable behavior, that she was sent to tell her FOOD WAS READY and she's a messenger.
But then it's "I'm taking her side!" Then wife agrees that oldest shouldnt have acted that way in that specific moment. Yet then they decide to go watch a dating show together for three hours and laugh and act like nothing even happened - send our youngest to bed, if I say anything about it I'm 'undermining', and they get to enjoy laughing hysterically at some stupid materialistic bullshit tv show all the while hurting my daughter's feelings and destabilizing her emotions.
I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. I really, really do. I have no outlets. I have no money to leave. I really feel like every day I am living in an actual nightmare. And I mean that in a non cliched way. I feel like I'm literally dreaming a nightmare and everyone has failed to wake me up.
I'll give another example: My wife does dog sitting. She watched this one dog and agreed to accepted cash app for payments. So we've watched him a few times. The most recent time, she was not paid. We're struggling with finances. The balance owed is $500. She literally said to me "WHAT SHOULD I DO IN THIS SITUATION." I gave my advice. She decided, since they've booked with us in the past, and that they're nice people, she wasn't going to contact them and ask for payment. I told her she needs to reach out and ask nicely if perhaps they forgot or something, maybe like "Hey I know you guys have a lot going on but I wanted to let you know I didnt receive payment yet." She straight up freaked out on me about this - that her decision was her decision and why was I not respecting her decision to not reach out to them. I'm like uh ... because they didn't pay you ... for your services ... and we need to pay our bills ... like ... what? "THIS IS HOW I FEEL. THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE, THEY ARE NOT TRYING TO SCREW US. I TOLD YOU I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE ASKING THEM FOR IT, WHY CANT YOU RESPECT THAT?!" then created an entire argument around this. Like ... an argument with me .. about not getting paid from a client ... and me suggesting she get paid. It literally makes zero freaking sense. I cannot reason with her. Whatsoever. Nothing is within any type of rational thinking.
I really am at the point where I just want to end life. I just have this tiny, tiny sliver left that is saying "that's Satan, kick him out."
I don't know how much more of this I can do. I really dont, yall. I don't know. I cannot afford to leave. I have like $500. I'm really at the point where I'm thinking that this has been the end of my life for a long time and I've not realized it - that it's just time to end life. I'm clinging on because of my kids. That's it. But if I'm going to be pitted against them and everyone, then what even is the purpose. Why am I here. I wake up every day to go to work and just pray to God for his strength because I can't muster an ounce of energy. I am at the point where I'm quite sincerely going to have a mental breakdown.
Add on top if it I have my mother who is a complete narcissist texting me and telling me how hurt she is that I only come visit a few times a month and how wrong that is of me and how I should be over there at least a few times per week. And how she never feels good - then I suggest some things - then those things aren't good enough - it's just non freaking stop. Then telling me that she's going to die soon and why am I not doing more for her.
This entire planet is trying to drain every ounce of energy I have. I wish I could just go get my own little apartment somewhere with my daughter. Just can't afford to do so, and I'm working two jobs. The time that I have off is just filled with arguments and anger. I have no peace and no downtime to myself.
Someone please help me. Please.
Dear God Almighty, please send this brave spiritual warrior your strength, clarity, inner peace and wisdom to make the best decisions for his family. Help him to put on the Armor of God, protect him in his struggle and let him feel your eternal love and the love which binds his family together. Also let the forgiveness of Jesus Christ work wonders in this family so that well being on all levels will return, their daily bread is given, laughter and ease will fill their hearts and their home. Thank you for your love and protection.
I pray this for our fren too. Lord Jesus Christ i pray that OP can accept and withstand the abuse, just as you did on your way to the Cross. The front line in this war is in the marriages. Being Christ to our families will be painful. If a wife shall leave let it be for a time. But a man shall not leave his wife. Keep being Christ to your family. You are the only mooring rope that is tying your family to the shore of sanity. Above all- do not let murder be the last physical action you perform under the sun. May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His countenance upon you and give you peace.
Amen.
Amen
Amen!
Fren
Can you edit out the donation link please, it is strictly against our rules.
I will then consider stickying this post.
There's a skill to being awake.
You have to be able to switch modes between high level thinking and political analysis and day to day functioning with normies who do not realise that we are in a spiritual and in some parts of the world physical battle which is the biggest we have ever faced. It's a skill to be able to switch to everyday mode and deal with family arguments and money worries and then switch to anon mode and talk to guys like us about psyops and awakening strategies etc.
Being aware means that you are an extremely precious resource, but it's extremely hard and heroic to do and there is no going back to not seeing. Please cut yourself some slack, these are the hard times and things will get better.
Very well said, prop. We do need to live life in different modes. Sometimes we fight the bad guys. Sometimes we do the normal-life work stuff. Sometimes we do the normal-life fun stuff. It needs to be balanced.
Clearing the mind of anger and fear is very important. We will not win without this. Anger and fear IS brainwashing by the globos.
Good point fren.
Anger at anyone, including oneself is self-defeating.
I have removed it, sorry. Can you please sticky?
Also thank you for the words of encouragement.
Sure thing fren!
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Was in an awful place similar years ago....got myself out of it...maybe think outside the box on how you and your daughter can put yourselves into a different, peaceful living situation. Not easy ...takes time to figure it out...
"Today's argument was that my youngest daughter took my 20 year old daughter's coloring book and colored a fucking page in it. "
Does "20 year old daughter's coloring book" not raise any suspicions about this post to you?
No. There are adult coloring books. They are just a way to unwind, relax, get creative. Nothing odd about it, really
There is nothing creative about coloring inside someone elses lines
i find that people who are bored are often boring low intelligence people. People who are intelligent are never bored and the have teh wherewithal to know that if they ARE bored its because they find themselves in a position of boredom that is their fault due to laziness or procrastination
Just because it's a trend doesn't mean it's not sketch or late expressing autism level social contaigon
like this... (not porn) https://files.catbox.moe/xdl8h6.jpg
Haha 😂 didn’t realize adult coloring book could have different meaning
oh yeah, fer-sure bro. this one is mine. Its fuckin' motivational, man.
it was a gift. and i do colour in it a bit.
The only suspicion it raises in me is that the OP made a typo and hasn't corrected it.
You should watch some videos on how to combat spiritual warfare. There are hundreds of YT and Rumble. It's a very real thing.
Main points to ponder;
Remember that Jesus gives life and joy and peace, while Satan steals life and joy and peace. This battle you are fighting is not against your wife or your kids. It is against Satan and his minions. I will be praying for you and beside you.
Stand strong in the Lord!
Yep very true, this is what I keep telling myself. And it's what I've told the family, as well, which I prayed over it aloud at dinner, specifically mentioning that when we come into agreement the Lord hears our words and makes it so - and thus I cast out all demons and satan from this house. Had some sideways eyes at the dinner table. But wife actually agreed and sobbed which was odd to see. I can be as clean as possible but it's also a matter of what is going on in this house, isnt it? Like what if my oldest daughter is not living a biblical life? And thus it lets in the Devil? I feel like I cant combat it from every single angle.
You cannot force your offspring to believe. They have to find their own way. Some have to go through a deep valley first, and that's between the lord and them: It is not up to you. But, after some time, they should come back to you, and then there will be feasting and joy.
All you can do is pray that angels will protect them against the devil when they enter that valley.
You can. You are the king of your castle. Take authority over Satan and tell him and his imps to GET OUT in the name of Jesus!
God put you in this time and place for a reason. Satan is trying to distract you from your purpose. It's time to put an end to it! Satan, in the name of Jesus, leave the household of u/wantingtounderstand and NEVER return!
If you call down enough angels, Satan's got to no choice but to go away. We stand with you!
Thank you so much
We are always here for our fellow frens. WWG1WGA IS NOT JUST A CATCHPHRASE!
Makes me wonder if we've all been MKUltraed :( This stuff was never happening with my wife 2-3 years ago. But in all seriousness, thank you for standing with me.
If she is vaccinated it could affect her mental health
Have you done any research on mk ultra and how it works and how to help healing take place. Things like brainwashing and NLP are all good things to look into
I feel like this entire family has been MKed. I dont know how to break away from that. Shit is probably targeting us from satellites, for all I know. I've thought on this because of the fact that things are just so bizarre that I feel as as if it's almost humanly impossible to be happening without some type of outside influence
and I agree wholeheartidly. I believe I have a purpose that is going to be used very soon as a testimony of some sort. I dont know what, or why, or really any of the details. But the trials I have been through to get this far... I keep wondering what my purpose is and why I'm here. There must be a reason.
My kids are the sweetest angels but they do the exact same things. The oldest is 6 and I felt recently they reached a new low with fights. There is a spiritual side of it and if other people don’t see that, doesn’t mean what we see isn’t real. My wife also does not see the spiritual side of it and thinks it is normal. I’ve had a dream about this and there were evil spirits causing kids to do bad things with fighting or making messes. Just makes me think that there is something real to this
Your kids
you have to calm yourself, and then the demon parasites will leave you alone. they're acting through the people around you because those 'people' obviously don't have their armor on. And they are 'of this world' and are actually OK with the current conditions. they want your Loosh, remember Q said we're batteries.
so grey rock them All. don't interact & keep yourself as carefree as possible. it's their Drama, not for you.
maybe go to a campground for a couple of days, just listen to the birds and cook a steak🐸
don't give the 'parasites' any attention.
I agree sue. Even though it's hard when drama is all around you, step back and stand on the knowledge that God is protecting your home and family.
Sit down and have a weekly talk with your wife & kids....make it calm and no chaos or shouting. Let this be a reminder to them of how much each one of them are loved by you. Tell your wife what you love about her and then your kids, giving examples of to each one.
Start a weekly time you set aside for simple bible study...each person can read a Psalm. Just fill your home with the presence of Abba, our Heavenly Dad. Satan can't stand to hear God worshipped.
If you start to feel helpless and nervous, say to yourself, I AM MY FATHER'S BELOVED CHILD AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME!
YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON. DON'T LET THE DEVIL WIN! 🙏🙌
Absolutely. This is most definitely a spiritual war FOR SURE and I can tell that they do not have their armor. I have referenced that scripture so many times to my family and begged that they listen to sermons with me. They're more interested in watching shitty horror movies or crime shows. It's exhausting. I can't even watch that stuff anymore, its just straight up negative energy. I've read about the loosh thing, I dont remember that coming from Q. What did he say about it? And can you explain it all a little further to me? Thank you for your help. I love the camping idea.
you're welcome:) and yes it can be exhausting because they're incapable of 'listening'. I've started comparing them to my Roomba, somewhat helpful, but they really could care less about 'life'
and this is from #749;
"Coincidence the MATRIX(movie) grew people as a crop, used for energy, and controlled their mind?
Sound familiar? Wonder where they derived that idea from.
Now comes the 'conspiracy' label. Deeper we go, the more unrealistic it all becomes. The end won't be for everyone. That choice, to know, will be yours."
if you read this as an 'autist'...Why wouldn't the end be for everyone...
this is why you have to stay out of their drama, rise above it.
Oof that's good. Maybe it's an intentional split where I'm raising my vibrations and moving into a positive aspect of my life whereas she is focused on the past and cannot live in the present.
yes, think of a literal swamp, if you 'drain' it, at some point the sludge must separate. so focus on ascension like Q said🇺🇸😇
It was just a full moon and this is when the parasites are most active. People become psychotic Lunatics
Middle English: from Old French lunatique, from late Latin lunaticus, from Latin luna ‘moon’ (from the belief that changes of the moon caused intermittent insanity).
yes^ was just telling my grandson about Luna...And isn't it the Flower Moon in May? there's an underlying moon, native American theme with Q...
Read a good book once titled,”The fine art of not giving a f*ck.” Is it really worth quarelling about? Place your troubles at God’s feet and trust in him. Pray Daily. We’re in a spiritual battle. Cast out the demons of disharmony
Yes second this.
Your wife seems like a narcissist, just like your mother. If you kill yourself, you will be leaving your youngest all alone at the hands of those crazy women.
Do not allow yourself to get caught up in your wife's emotional roller coaster drama, she gets off by getting a rise out of you, it's a narcissist thing. Same applies to your mother, stop answering her calls if she does nothing but berate you. You owe her nothing. Tell her if she does not change her behavior that you will cut her out of your life and be prepared to actually do it. You did not choose your parents, but you can choose the relationships that you have in this life. This may seem hard or unthinkable to do at first because of the biological bond you have with her, but trust me, once that negative, self-serving entity is out of your life, you will be much less stressed and thus happier. These sort of people feed off of other's misery and will gaslight you if you try to point it out. Be prepared for her to resort to the victim role when you try to bring up the problems you have with her. She will try to get you to feel bad for her. Do not fall for it.
Also, going to the gym can be life-changing for men. It boosts energy and testosterone levels and it can help you become more in control of your life.
Take all the narcissists out of your life and you'll realize the world is not trying to drain you, it's been your family and possibly some of your friends? this whole time and that's why it feels like the entire world, because it's your entire world. Your mother is a narcissist and you chose a wife that is a narcissist probably because humans tend to chose mates whose traits/personalities are familiar to us. Now that you are older and wise to it, hopefully you can recognize a narcissist before forming new bonds with one. Eject all toxic relationships out of your life and do not form new ones. Do this if not for yourself, for your youngest daughter's sake. You need to protect her from them or they'll use her up like they've used you.
God bless, I hope the very best for you!
100%. Very true. Thank you.
Just for comparison, I was in hospital once just when we were about to move house. I was rushed in with a grumbling appendix, was there three days all told, pretty dicey at one point.
My mother didn't come to see me because she'd made a commitment to play badminton and didn't want to let them down. The next day she text to say that the other person had cancelled and how pissed of she was!
Not only this, but my wife was having to cope with all this, plus getting everything ready to move house and my mother didn't offer to help once.
In the end I let my wife reply to my mothers text, it was a doozy..
"Fuck your selfish self". Said it all really :) Some people, no matter what we think we might owe them, really are selfish, and that's just the way they are.
Yep. Facts. I dated a girl for over a year who constantly accused me of cheating on her, would make up shit to “prove” it, and then claimed I had anger issues after I got mad about being accused of cheating on her the millionth time when I literally hadn’t left the house all day and could prove it.
OP said they were working 2 jobs and prob don't have time for gym. I would suggest getting a new ONE job that pays the same as the two. However you can do that, do it.
Example: change careers and become a police officer. It pays well and as a uni it gives you time to process the bullshit in your family. Also, they will respect you more because npcs esp narcy ones have a fear respect thing with cops.
Or postal service worker also. If you are a foot carrier, you can get your exercise there. and have time to think while you walk. It's good to have a job that lets you get time to yourelf to process home life while you work, without puting you too much in danger
This is the quickest fix and easy to implement. You feel so much better. Little things don't bother you as much.
Plus you can release all that tension while pushing heavy iron.
No way do you 'off' yourself...no way. Take it off the table. That would absolutely ruin your daughters for life. I know a gal whose dad self off'd and it impacts her entire family to this day...she's 60.
That's the only thing keeping me going - knowing that I'd be leaving her in this dysfunction and toxicity. I have to see her out of it somehow and someway.
I get what you deal with, brother. I just has surgery on my shoulder so I can't do anything right now. My wife cried Friday night because she got unbelievably frustrated while I described to her how to turn on the grill. She claimed I yelled at her and all kinds of crap. Like you say, do you really think I yelled at her over directions on how to use a grill? That's such a non important thing. She called me a "fucking asshole" because I have her "horrible fucking directions." It's insane!
Well. If you can swing it. I’d suggest first and foremost either reducing the workload or even just try to get a few overlapping days/a week off from both jobs.
Go fishing. Hiking maybe. Do a little camping. Just something to get you out of the current environment and time to collect your thoughts and brainstorm potential solutions. Free of immediate stressors. Ideally that would be done alone. But you seem concerned about your youngest so you could bring her if you believe you can’t trust your wife with her wellbeing. Tell her your meeting with some friends you haven’t seen in a while for a guys weekend to catch up. If you want an excuse for the trip. Though you of course would need another excuse if you bring the daughter along.
From the sounds of it. You are suspecting your marriage is over given how readily your discussing the potential of leaving even though your lack of funds complicates matters. Which I suppose is a step down a Road to a solution. Though I’m not sure it’s one you’d want to travel.
If you want to try salvaging the situation you could try couples therapy. Though I’ve heard it’s a waste just as often as it is a help for a situation.
I’d also advise seeking someone to confide in and get advice from. Whether that be a Pastor, a Therapist, or a Relative outside the immediate family and your mother.
Consider changing work as well. Something less stressful or time consuming perhaps. Allowing you to be present at home and in your family’s life more. I’m not sure of your immediate situation. Though so I’m not immediately sure if it’s possible for you.
If you decide on divorce. I’d advise slowly gathering information favorable to gaining primary custody of the youngest as it seems like she is your main concern. Also get advice from other Divorced men and start putting out feelers for lawyers and getting contact information. Some will at least give out their Business Cards and even some preliminary advice free of charge. Given how many bloody lawyers there are these days. It maybe worth it even if it’s not financially ideal.
I wish I could be more helpful. So much ultimately comes down to you and what you are or aren’t willing to do. I wish you the best man and am praying for you to keep going and fighting. Don’t let the Devil win this one.
Thank you. Yes, I didn't share it as already had, but weve been going through a divorce for over a year now (and I mean going through because she insisted about 15 months ago that we separate, so we moved into separate rooms, yet we continue to live together). I've brought this up recently and "nothing has changed" so yes I do wish I could just find some place alone. I think fishing or doing something outside in nature is a great idea. I'm so exhausted from work that I often spend my day off just sleeping as much as I can then doing some indoor games like things on the nintendo switch. I dont have much energy to even leave the house. I appreciate the work suggestions - I'm very happy with where I am and am currently a contractor hoping to make it full time which will change thing significantly, so I don't have a desire to leave just yet. Want to see it through. I think primary custody is probably what I should fight for, as well. She even just told me yesterday "I think hou should take her, I want to focus on my career and I just cant (she just finished school)". Funny because, like I told her, we are still parents. Nothing changes that. And asked her what if I wanted to flip the script and go to school full time, have her pay all the bills, how would she feel? Her response: "BUT YOU DIDNT!" just cant grasp any of my points. I'm like "Yeah ,but if I did?" "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO, YOU HATE SCHOOL!" Point being - she went to school for four years while I worked. I did this so I could ensure she got her degree. I busted my ass. Now she literally just graduated a week ago and has been wanting a divorce for the last year. So I sacrificed all of that just so I could set her up with a degree and set myself up with a divorce.
She used you to get her degree and now that she saw the finish line she has been trying to get you to blow up and hit her so she can get everything in the divorce. That's literally what she's doing. Ask me how I know...
That's what I told her. Said the same thing again a few days ago to which she said "DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME, I DID ALL OF THAT MYSELF WHILE HOMESCHOOLING." I was like yeah, I understand that, but what if I told you to pay all the bills and I'm going to go to school for four years, get my degree, then at the end, I say we separate. She's like "YEAH BUT YOU DIDNT! YOU DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL!" she can't put herself in my shoes. There's zero logical thinking going on. I would have expected "Yeah, that's true, I see your point." It's possible that she does see it but would never admit to that.
"It's possible that she does see it but would never admit to that."
Precisely! She is a manipulator. Keep records of everything. Record audio /video. Use it in the divorce to keep your daughter.
Dude, you still don't understand it. You can't reason with them when they are like that. Stop trying to win. You won't win anything.
DISENGAGE WITH HER.
you're right
Wait are you the same guy we explained shit tests to and said your wife def found some other dude or cheated weeks to a month ago on here? You need to get out and fast.
I don't believe she cheated, no. But she's got photos of her ex high school sweetheart on her phone who died a few months ago which put her in this weird ass depression. She never told me about it. I found the photos.
Do a 10 day insight meditation retreat (vipassana)
Art of living is a buddhist based ecumenical (all religions welcome) tradition to teach people the methodology of vipassana meditation aka insight meditation. It's an active meditation that has you scan your own body up and down constantly and 'analyzing' sensations like hot, itch, cold, vibration, sting, pain, etc and then allowing them to pass.
dhamma.org's retreats are FREE (new students sponsored by old students)
I did it for 10 days and then a month as a chef 'old student' helper. I spoke about it in front of 100 people and only sold one person on giving it a try. A russian american guy, who found me after the 10 day thing and gave me a hug, said it was life changing for him. It felt like little ole me actually helped someone in this world.
https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/about/vipassana -- go to courses and search for one near you
You would have to be able to sit (or kneel) in a chair or on a cushion for 14 hours a day, and you'd have to be silent for 10 days. I found that part was very easy.
This will change your life because it will give you the tools for calming yourself and understanding yourself on a subatomic level
You might find the root of your problems with the family and root them out. That happened for me.
Do not allow your bitch wife to upset you. I was engaged to a girl just like this. This is what you do.
Foot down. Oh she will kick she will scream but this is your house and if she wants to make an issue and have a divorce over it that's cool BUT YOU ARE NOT LEAVING YOU ARE MARRIED THAT IS YOUR HOUSE.
Don't worry about legal anything. Because the woman is just talking shit she has nothing to back it up with just ignore her and operate with the same bliss they ignore your youngest with. If they ignore her go out somewhere with her idk.
Show genuine boredom in your fights and refuse to engage with it, act as if what she is doing is incredibly dull to you.
Start acting exactly how the fk you want. Acting how she wants will never fix anything. She will only take take take. I was engaged to one of those for a long time. All you can do is put your foot down.
Don't cry don't say you wanna kill yourself none of that you are fine.
Set up Uber Eats, Doordash, and Instacart. If you unlock all 3 you never need a job I drive a 2024 and only drive for one service.
DM me if you need help.
Stop taking her so seriously all the damn time.
She knows what she is doing and takes pleasure in it.
Start listening to Stellar.
Yep. We call this “The Office Space Ultimatum”. Ha.
100%. Will start working on not feeding it and acting dull about things. I agree that giving my energy to it really gives it the power and definitely think she enjoys the drama. I do have doordash and uber and I drive occasionally. It's not super busy in my area so the most I typically make is like $100 if I'm out all day. Unless its spring break, then it's slammed. but never consistent unfortunately
Definitely do not engage when she is acting irrational and stupid. Fighting back does not work. You have to have your boundaries and stick to them. I've learned this while dealing with many gfs in the past. You react to their bull shit they will continue and walk all over you. They actually respect you more when you stand your ground and don't react to their emotional nonsense. SOMETIMES it's even a test, they do it unconsciously because they have survival instincts that need assurance that you are a strong man and can not be pushed around.
I've felt like a lot of it has been the shit test, for sure. She just randomly told me the other day, completely out of the blue, that she is going into the military. After much discussion, the next day she says she changed her mind. Think I'm just being constantly psychologically tortured, manipulated, and extorted. All of my emotions, all the time. I had ONE DAY off of work which was Friday. Ive not taken a day off in over a year. Literally (outside of the weekend). She knows this. I had this day planned for the last few months and was really looking forward to just sleeping in and watching some tv. Instead, Friday was filled with the most drama I've seen in the last several months and constant arguments and constant drain. Now it's back to work tomorrow as I have to work holidays. Ridiculously selfish and intentional.
Are you willing to make a promise to goto the gym, or even just lift heavy things you have around the house? Can you make me that promise that you will do it starting tomorrow?
Lifting doesn't solve all problems. But right now we need to get you into a better headspace, which lifting heavy weight accomplishes.
For motivation start searching forums online for success stories on people who started lifting weight.
Time to start making time for YOU. You need to get your ass in the gym. If it's hard to start for you, just go there with the intention of doing 5 minutes of weights. Please do this.
Edit: Notice I didn't address anything about the shit you just said?
All that shit is not helpful to think about. It's noise. Focus on solutions brother. YOU GOT THIS.
Good advice!
You have to recognize the peak busy hours and the richest neighborhoods and drive accordingly. You only really need Uber Eats. Do not do uber x
I turned off X and do XL and eats only. Works out okay, except the majority of them I am forced to contemplate my existence because I usually I have six 21 year old wasted drunk girls in the car as we drive 20 minutes to the next bar. And they always play a 100 question game where I get interrogated the entire time by the upfront passenger OR they're all screaming at each other; have had a few that puked in the car. Fun times. I hate this city. Very rarely I get an older couple who is going to dinner together and my God the drives are so pleasant and peaceful. I wish I could replicate them.
Every city is good for 100 a day which is all you need to live however in places like Atlanta 350 is achievable on Fridays and saturdays. If you work at night you make a lot more but it's not worth the sacrifice usually. The flexibility you have is golden doing this. Make money on vacation type shit, go to the beach for three months type shit.
Hi fren, the other frens have made some good comments.
I'll just add some information that might be of help to you so you may cope a bit better with the troubling situation you are in.
Are your vitamin D levels fine? You could try taking 4,000 to 6,000 iu of vitamin D3 and 500 mg to 1,000 mg of Quercetin.
Vitamin D3 and Quercetin can have a calming effect so you can roll with the punches as you try to keep yourself together.
Stick around and hold on to life. It's a shit show at the moment, but things will get better.
All best,fren.
This phase will not last forever. At some point 20-yr old will leave home ...They tend to screach a lot before leaving in a huff. Really, there will be more peace then. (personal experience)
Try not to take sides. There are a lot of angry women in your life. Can you get out of the house?
Stay true to your morals. i.e. do not perpetuate lies if you know they are untrue. In the case of the 20-yr old's coloring book - she can have a new one soon. Perhaps burn the spoiled one, so that it can no longer rankle. But really, it does seem rather silly. The two older women ganging up on the youngest is the worst part.
Maybe take the younger one for a walk and have a little peaceful moment in the park - or go and fetch an icecream or something.
If someone is "doing it wrong" say so in a steady voice, and then vacate the war-zone. If the screaching gets too much, go and find something to do. Please stay with us.
kek
Yes there is. Unfortunately I have no where to go. Even if I try to leave for 10 mins, which I did last night, it's a bit ridiculous. We live on the edge of a highway so going for a walk literally means walking down the 55 mph road with no sidewalk. There's not really an escape. I have no one I can go stay with, no money for a hotel or other home, etc. Have one car, but no clue where I'd go. I've thought about just leaving for the evening and taking a few hours to myself, but I literally never leave because I have no idea where I'd go. I don't drink, so I'm not going to a bar. Not sure. Especially because this stuff typically happens around 8-9 pm
this is all so good. I love the tea idea. And yes i do see patterns to it. As weird as it sounds, it always correlates to the moon cycle. Always during full moons, that period of a few days right before, during, and after it.
Yes, we are renting. and live right off the highway. I hate it here. All of us do. But we don't have the finances to move out. Our lease is up in just a few months but I'm probably going to have to renew it because I cannot afford to move. I'm praying that God blesses me with additional income somehow and gives me this ability.
Hit the gym and lift heavy weight man. Trust me. You will feel 1000x better and everything in your life will improve, including finances. Raise your vibrational energy by self-care.
I really do need to make time for this.
If there's anything you get from your post, this is the most important thing. It'll be the spark that ignites you towards having a better life. I promise you this. If you really want to change, just start lifting.
Thanks for answering. I deleted the message, because I felt that it was too personal, but, I am glad you read it. If you need help with the oils list, or more explanation - please consider using the PMs. Yes, once you become aware of the nature of the cycle of insanity, you can proceed with a game plan. If you can discuss the issue in a 'good' part of the cycle, so that you can determine that she needs to be confined to a cosy place, with service, then marital and family harmony can prevail. Also, separating the arguing parties with doors helps. Perhaps there is a way of understanding the full moon as well. There is alot of light and energy during that time, and one CAN tap in the positives. When we were living close to nature (i.e. in a bus with lots of windows) we would do all-nighters of talking about stuff by candle-light, because we could not sleep, anyway. If it coincides with PMT, you would be surprised how talking about stuff and serving tea or re-filling hot-water bottles can be of great benefit - that's if she doesn't need to crash.
I pray that you have a windfall so that you all can move. I do think that geographical location can have a huge but seemingly irrational effect. I mean, it's just noise (AAArgh), or, we don't need to go outside (cabin fever), or something. Try to look for another place pro-actively - don't let it slide to renewal. There are people out there that will be willing to rent to you - you only need to find one, so start looking. When we were in dire straits - with a new baby and already a large family (living in a bus and a caravan and running out of possibilites, and some very active teenage boys) - we managed to score a house on a rent-to-buy agreement with an individual (no agent). He later helped us, by vouching for our regular payments, to get a real mortgage. The house is in a small town - Imagine the luxury of walking to Karate-classes (we previously were on camp-sites in bum-f8ck-boon-docks, with nothing to do). We moved to our house with hardly any possessions, and enjoyed the fall, and old-fashioned open fires, and walk-to-the-shops and SPACE.
For us, it was a leap from near-homeless, to home-ownership. For you, you already have a place, so it can be harder because of 'stuff' that you currently own, but it is also easier because you have a history of rental payments.
Consider shedding a whole lot of stuff (maybe sell it on ebay?), so that you can move with a car, and maybe add a trailer (if tow-bar). The cost can be quite low if you plan ahead ($500 bucks will do nicely). Trust me - you do not need a couch, or a table, or an entire library, or sixty bags of clothing, at least at first. In fact a lot of that stuff will have bad memories anyway. If you want to get woo about it - that's why I suggested burning the contentious book. So anything that sparked off a fight - say the dinner table, or an excessive number of dishes, should be on the chopping block. Make it a game.
My partner used to say: This is a military operation, so we don't need [fill in dotted line]. When we moved, we literally had some second-hand mattreses on the floor, and hardly any clothes and one bowl and one spoon each. It was ONE trip - we drank a lot of water and survived the first week on home-made pan-bread and butter - to pay for the gas. The luxury, in the second week, of a tray of eggs and a bunch of spinach was unimaginable!. And ... I don't remember being hungry in that first week, actually.
Amazingly, people in the town came and gave us stuff, like rugs and firewood, an old bunk-bed, and even chickens. God is like that. It is an opportunity to shed, but not a loss - because mental health is far more important than the current possessions.
Horrible situation. I think you are getting some good hard-line advice. I don't like the soft-line advice because it all amounts to "bottle it up and swallow it." That is never good.
You are in a family where you are not the husband and you are not the father, inasmuch as they do not respect your priority of authority and their dependence on you. It might be useful to simply proceed with smashing their assumption that they can walk all over you and kick you around. For example, about the tardy dog sitting fee payment: Tell your wife, very simply and quietly, that the deadbeats will be contacted and the only option is whether it will be her or you who does it. And you will do it tomorrow if it is not already done by then. End of message.
As for the family emotional mayhem, find your master power panel and see if it has provision for a lock to be applied. If it does, get one. When the mayhem sets up, just go to the power panel, open it, open the master switch to power-out the entire house, and lock the panel shut. Go back to their newfound bewilderment and tell them that until they want to make peace and stop raising a ruckus and apologize to you, they can think their thoughts in darkness. Be sure you are the only one with a flashlight. This will get Real whenever anyone needs to make a bowel movement in complete darkness. If the house starts to get cold, let them decide how much chill they want to experience before they change their tune. (Admittedly, this is based on the premise that they are so shallow, they would not experience very much discomfort before they would surrender their own position.)
When I was growing up, I was impressed with the fact that my parents were Forces of Nature. There was no argument. There was only compliance, and if disobedient, punishment and remorse. Your wife has evidently decided to act like a child, but a child who has learned to like being a bully. So, you have three girls cat-fighting for pecking order. You are the only adult.
My brother fell into a similar problem and it got the better of him. He had two daughters, and the wife and the daughters, being the majority out of a family of 4, were always making the decisions on what recreation or entertainment they would pursue. His wishes were simply IGNORED. Eventually, he took to visiting an old school friend who lived 100 miles away, and they would set up a roaring campfire and drink a pack or two of beer. He got to the point where he would go through a six-pack of beer watching evening television. No problem. He was a respected and competent aeronautical engineer, so there was no problem, right? It turns out that binge drinking does not allow the metabolic products of alcohol to be entirely disposed of by the body and some intermediate products wound up being excreted by the kidneys. Some of these are carcinogenic. He wound up with bladder cancer and had to have it removed and replaced by a construct made from some of his lower colon. And then he got peritonitis from the incomplete healing from the surgery, and needed to have 80% of his bowels resected, living on a bag in his side. By about this time, he and his wife had divorced. He was still looking forward to having a life, but then was found near death in his apartment from kidney failure. So, on to a life of dialysis, 3 times weekly. That was the time at which I was starting to re-connect with him, as we had lost touch when he was withdrawing from his family problems. And, finally, after he had bought a new house and made plans for what to do next with his life, he was found in the morning, dead before the fireplace in his beanbag chair from heart failure (which, unaccountably, tends to follow those who are into long-term dialysis). I was the executor of his will. The ex-wife was no longer in the will, but she acted like she had rights in the matter. The daughters were all about what they could plunder from his estate, and even resorted to open theft of his goods before I could begin disposition (they were the heirs). No one was interested in any artifacts or records testifying to his exemplary performance as a Navy officer and as an engineering manager. The daughters got married and moved away to be near the mother. My brother's memory and our side of their family was left behind to drift over the horizon.
So what is the moral of the story? If you don't act on your own behalf, no one will do it for you. If you can't make your position stick as head of the family, pull out the plug and make it clear who is dependent on whom. (Clamp down on the bank account, or make a new one in your name only, and move all the joint funds into it. If they want to eat, they must mollify You. Rip up the coloring book in front of them, and throw it out with the crayons.) Insist on being heard, or else. It's up to you to understand what "or else" must be, or you will have to realize you are holding a worthless hand of cards. Maybe you will not be loved...by bratty, immature, self-centered predators. In all things, it is first necessary to be respected. Without respect, there can be no love. If they try to whine or berate you or guilt trip you, let it wash off like the sewage it is. You can have a grave with a tombstone that they will never look at...or you can have a life. You have to make some very searching choices. You do not have to put up with this shit. They are dependent on you, so draw in the reins---sharply---to get their attention.
At least think this over. Can I say this is the Right thing to do? I think it is, but you need to agree in your heart that it makes sense. Godspeed.
Really sorry about your brother. This is a really powerful message and I need to reread it a few times. Thank you for this.
Thanks for the sympathy. As part of the estate culling process, I collected all of his Navy fitness reviews. He always had high ratings, and every single one was recommending accelerated promotion. His daughters didn't care a whit. He was a good brother, a good man, a good officer, a good husband and father, and a good engineering manager. And I miss him.
Think the message through. I've learned that a lot of life, maturity, and sanity rest on recognizing what is true. Godspeed.
Maybe try killing more birds with one stone...You need space, wife needs space, youngest needs kid attention, oldest needs teenage attention, grandma needs attention/help.
Plan a couple hours a week at grandma's house with youngest. Grandma and youngest can make memories... bake cookies, plant flowers, play games, sewing, etc. What hobbies does Grandma have? While they are busy you can have a little alone time doing the odd jobs mothers usually have... cut grass, clean basement, clean garage, repair leaky faucet, etc. Plan your days at Mom's to coincide with the days your wife and eldest's favorite shows are on. Teen needs "girl time" with wife, growing up is hard. And you can spend the time "working" but enjoying the peace. And Grandma will be happy.
Don't you dare leave your youngest daughter with those other psychos. Your job is to shield her and to take the slings and arrows so that the abuse does not redirect to her.
Leave that bitch wife though.
What I’m going to tell you is really important. Some of it is going to be hard to hear.
2 Your wife sounds mentally unhealthy. She could be a narcissist. Look that word up and learn how to deal with narcissists.
Your wife creates triangles within the family. It’s probably unhealthy stuff from her childhood. When you react, she gaslights you. You can’t and won’t win with her. Stop trying. Walk away.
Your youngest daughter reminds your wife of you. She’s going to break up your alliance with your younger daughter at any cost because that’s what narcissists do.
This situation is a powerful lesson for you to learn how to take control of your life, to develop strength and to love yourself. Your wife fears you getting self-esteem. The minute you do, she can’t control you anymore.
This is a mental exercise. It’s not about money. It’s also a long game. Set a goal. Even if it’s putting away $5 a month. Set a mental health goal too. Walk a mile everyday, seek therapy, read self help books. Find a hobby and commit to taking care of yourself for 30 minutes a day. Period. No excuses. If you’re not worth it to yourself, don’t expect anyone else to respect you either. Develop self esteem. Develop strength. Be really nice and gentle with yourself. You’re going through a hard time. You’re struggling. If you can’t be kind to yourself, no one else will either.
Your mother is guilting you. That’s wrong. Set boundaries with her. But also it seems she’d be okay if you just give her a bit more attention. Literally call her everyday and say hi for three minutes. Once she sees you’re trying, she’ll stop with the nonsense.
Did you marry a woman like your mother? It sounds like you have a few things to work out.
You need therapy. They have therapy with sliding scale payment available.
Pray. Go to church every Sunday. Seriously. You need to balance the hell in your life with positive messaging.
People are taking advantage of you.But that’s on you. Never forget we teach people how we want to be treated.
You matter. Do not hurt yourself. Really work on being kinder to yourself and then change your life. It’s one step at a time though. Make a plan. Work a little towards that plan everyday. You’ll feel more in control.
Good speed friend.
This is so good and so helpful. Thank you. Your point of "Your youngest daughter reminds your wife of you. She’s going to break up your alliance with your younger daughter at any cost because that’s what narcissists do." is 100% accurate. She's even said "You guys are JUST like each other and youre both JUST like your mother." trying to break the bond that we have.
Family sure does not equal "friends" does it. It can. But right now, and for you, doesn't sound like it. The most compatible one for you is the daughter. No matter how anyone else feels about it, can you two talk about things you can go do together. No one else. And really keep at the discussion til you find out what she is really interested in no matter how off the wall. Then do it. See how that goes. Soend time with someone who doesn't make you feel like the enemy. If somone else bitches about it, refuse to debate it. After a month or so you can also spend special time with another kid. Don't double up. This is worth doing. Someone else in your home feels they are invisible and that they do not matter.
I don't want to sound like a **nt, but you need to wake the fuck up.
You're good nature has been taken advantage of. I totally understand where you are and why you feel the way you do, but this is a situation you can resolve, but you're going to have to do things that you aren't used to doing.
Number 1: Be calm, don't let anyone push your buttons.
Number 2: Take charge, if they don't like it they can fuck off, it's your house.
Seriously, my wife has, on occasion, resorted to being a ball busting bitch, but I finally had enough and put her straight on a few things.
Wasn't easy, but later she told me she actually appreciated it that I had taken charge and that if she'd been in my position she'd have given her ' a bang on the snout' (no lie, that's what she said).
I've never hit my wife, but fucking hell I've made it perfectly clear when she's pushed me to the edge of doing so.
I'm really tired and pissed off with people taking the piss out of my tolerance. Sometimes the lion needs to wake up and roar and let the other animals know who's the boss.
Bro I’m going to give you advice you won’t like and won’t want to hear but hopefully it sinks in. You need to cut back the drama in your own life and those around you will follow. Even the fact that you wrote this entire thread about just dying because of a coloring book (ultimately) shows you’re wayyyy off balance. Pull your own drama way back and see where life takes you.
It wasnt just because of that. It's because it's compounding. Every day of my life there's something new. I agree and try not to get too involved in it, but sometimes I have to.
I understand it’s not because of that, but that it’s just another sign that you’re letting drama control you instead of being in control. “This too shall pass.” Let that be your motto, most things in life are not really near the level drama that we think they are, and especially with women, you MUST be the rock in their emotional storms
For what it’s worth OP. I’m struggling pretty hard too. Feel super low. Constantly batting everything from every angle. Lots of days I want to just quit. Go see Jesus and ask him to understand my burden and forgive me. His wrath scares me… eternity is a long time…
I don’t even have any hope or words of wisdom. I do not see a utopia waiting for me. I have no close relationships, friends, no life partner/companion. Everything feels hopeless. I am labeled as a retard conspiracy theorist and anything I say is used against me later, just for a laugh.
I’m a sinner and a loser. Forgive me lord and frens. I haven’t done enough and I was given a lot of blessing from the Lord, yet I can’t seem it aid in His Will on Earth.
Every battle I’ve fought in, I lose.
I’m with you in this Battle OP. You’re not alone. WWG1WGA
Wantingtounderstand, this is exactly evil is doing to you, It is giving you bad ideas. Your soul and life are very precious, and people love you specially God.This is an everyday routine for every household. God will give you the strength that you need. Do not worry about things like this, things will get better. Our situations will change, we just have to think about God and constantly pray. If you focus on God you will see your situation will change. Pray in the morning as soon you get up and at the end of the day. Get the Bible into your home. I will pray for you and God bless you. Psalm 91: You Are My Refuge and My Fortress 1He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.a 2I will say to the LORD, “You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3Surely He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly plague. 4He will cover you with His feathers; under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and rampart. 5You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the calamity that destroys at noon. 7Though a thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, no harm will come near you. 8You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. 9Because you have made the LORD your dwelling— my refuge, the Most High— 10no evil will befall you, no plague will approach your tent. 11For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. 12They will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.b 13You will tread on the lion and cobra; you will trample the young lion and serpent. 14“Because he loves Me, I will deliver him; because he knows My name, I will protect him. 15When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. 16With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.” Trust in the Lord.
They say that we marry one parent and become the other. It's part of working our childhood trauma out. Sounds like you married your mother. If that's the case that your wife is a narcissist as you describe your mother to be, then you should be watching video after video on narcissistic wives. I've been dealing with watching my brother deal with his narcissist girlfriend on the heels of him nearly dying from stage 4 melanoma. He has been watching the videos I've sent him and they seem to give him the peace of mind to understand that HE is not the crazy one. She is.
Arm yourself with knowledge, fren. Narcissists pretty much don't change. And they cast their kids in roles in the family: the Golden Child, the invisible child, etc. The videos give lots of good advice on how to deal with narcissists and keep your sanity. Maybe start with Dr. Ramani on YouTube. There are LOTS of others that will come up on your feed once you watch one.
Good luck to you, fren. Remember what our real President has said at the end of every rally through his song choice: "Hold on, I'm coming." Once he's back and he's shipping illegals back to their home countries and a bunch of them are leaving on their own because the incentives to stay are gone and the risks to staying are uncomfortable, the competition for resources (which creates inflation) and jobs will ease up. Don't bail out so close to the turn-around, fren. Hold on. Trump is coming and he's going to Wyatt Earp some cabal criminals. And we're all going to be providing the public support he and his posse needs to get his agenda done. Blessings to you.
All really good advice... So I'll suggest something different and hippie.
I would also look into essential oils. I didn't believe in them before but I was at a breaking point and didn't want to take anxiety meds. I started using EO and within days my heart palp and snapping at my family went away and it's never came back. It's been 3 years and I feel amazing.
Maybe find someone who has some who can make you a roller. "liquid x" : 15 drops Lavender, 10 frankincense, 10 ylang ylang, 10 grapefruit in a 10ml roller.
For the wife, look up "superwoman" essential oil blend. This has literally changed 15 women's lives around me. It balances hormone and controls stress.
Another example, not to give away too much but my friend became an alcoholic working a job and he quit. He broke down and really wanted to get his shit together. He finally decided to try EO and he is feeling amazing and losing weight, has motivation. He's on one for sleep, testosterone, and the liquid x above. His wife is on superwoman and she didn't believe in it either but left town without it and felt terrible.
I believe if you can get your stress under control... You will see things more clearly.
Just inhaling an EO changed women's stress https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24802524/
Good luck!
Interesting post. Aren't there products already available for sale? Why do you suggest those EOs?
Local women I met, joke they rub their husband's down with this blend... If you look it up on pinterest you get a banner saying to get proper help seek medical professional. Lol.
I don't sell oils, I have a job, so there's no angle here. I do use the multilevel marketing brands but maybe you can find someone to buy from so you aren't sucked into.membership.
Otherwise you can try places like etsy. "stress relief roller" or something.
I used to make fun of my hippie friends who did oils and now me and all my friends are believers.
Research through online or Amazon books on what oils do. Here's one on frankincense. And FYI, I never ingest. Just dab the oil blend on. Seems silly but really does work.
Frankincense benefit Frankincense oil, derived from the resin of the Boswellia tree, has been used for centuries for its medicinal and cosmetic properties. Here are some of the benefits of frankincense oil:
Medicinal Benefits:
Anti-inflammatory: Frankincense oil has anti-inflammatory properties, which can help reduce swelling and pain in the body. Antiseptic: It has antiseptic properties, which can help prevent infection and promote wound healing. Antioxidant: Frankincense oil has antioxidant properties, which can help protect the body from free radicals and oxidative stress. Expectorant: It can help relieve congestion and coughs by loosening mucus and promoting its expulsion from the body. Antibacterial: Frankincense oil has antibacterial properties, which can help combat bacterial infections. Cosmetic Benefits:
Anti-aging: Frankincense oil can help reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and improve skin elasticity. Skin tone: It can help even out skin tone and reduce the appearance of acne and other skin imperfections. Wound healing: Frankincense oil can help promote wound healing by stimulating the growth of new skin cells and improving blood flow. Hair care: It can help promote healthy hair growth, reduce dandruff, and improve the overall health of the scalp. Other Benefits:
Stress relief: Frankincense oil has a calming and relaxing effect, which can help reduce stress and anxiety. Pain relief: It can help relieve pain and discomfort associated with arthritis, fibromyalgia, and other conditions. Immune system support: Frankincense oil can help support the immune system by stimulating the production of white blood cells.
I’m sorry to hear.
Totally “controversial” and taboo for some reason but have you ever looked into psychedelics like mushrooms or ayahuasca? They give you a complete different perspective on your life and open up a different world where you learn in time to take control of your life and cast out bad energy/spirits from your life and those around you.
Just a thought, I know many people whose life took a complete 180 from things like drug addictions, alcoholism, depression etc etc
Good luck wishing you all the best.
20 year old is an adult. If she is fighting with minors in the house it's time to go, especially over a coloring book.
Internet and TV do not have to be accessible in the house. Cell phones can be turned off and put away while home. Could also curb outside annoyances ie texts from parents. I would recommend if occupants are overly emotional to also ban music on demand (albums, Mp3s etc). FM radio could be a compromise.
Small claims court could fix the missing money. You probably won't have to show for court because the paperwork is usually enough to scare a person for answering in front of a judge. Probably cost less than $50. These situations come with the territory of running a business.
I know you're exhausted, everyone is. This next idea will be somewhat intimidating, but I think it would fix some attitudes in the house. Get everyone in the car and don't tell them where you're going, and drive to volunteer at a homeless shelter for a meal. It will humble everyone, and you may be surprised, it could become a regular family bonding time.
You are lucky. You have a family...there are many that wish they were in your shoes.
Take time for yourself to breathe. If things get too hot with everyone yelling, you be the bigger person and remove yourself instead of engaging.
Also if you find down time with the little one, start teaching her a trade or hobby. There is nothing stopping you from taking her to the library to just get out. She may also appreciate the escape and the quiet.
Make sure you eat good food. Meat. Vegetables (cooked). Eat steak, eggs. Try things such as raw milk. Make sure your digestive system has long hours between meals, no snacks, or try intermittent fasting. Bad gut health can make life hell.
Had a steak with potato and asparagus last night, was delicious
Hang in there, brother. I'm going through some heavy stuff myself, and I hear Satan whisper in my ear that maybe I should kill myself.
I demand he gets behind me and I carry on. I am stronger than he is.
Praying for you, sir.
Well, God is stronger than he is and he lends me that strength. That's far more accurate.
"let's all remember to love each other as our first priority" is a good 'frame' to say what needs saying. Repetitively saying something soothing like that as a precursor to every communication, can help. I mean this in a brute force way - repetition of a statement of your desire for how interactions should be - as a repeated statement, just flatly and expressed in a way that doesn't accuse before you say anything, will change their behaviour, but only with repetition and acting it yourself. It is the calm repetition of the same thing that matters, you have to take control. Assert. Assert something good, a bit better, for everyone. Just trust that consistency and repetition works. You have to calm everyone down. It all sounds very high stress. I sympathise.
Now that you feel the way you do, you can try even radical new behaviour, without risk. I mean if you are considering killing yourself, consider instead killing yourself with embarrassment by doing something out of your comfort zone. It's like a "free go" at life with the husk you inhabit. Try and rise above it and assert something that is dream-like rather than this nightmare.
You are at a point of maximum freedom. Use it now when you have no limits considering the alternative. Maybe that's what a breakdown is? I say do not let anyone call it that.. You are not about to have a breakdown but a breakthrough.
Your 20-year old daughter has a coloring book?
I have adult coloring books too, mindfulness type, I didn’t have time to start it… I myself probably doesn’t like to “ruin” it, but I don’t mind to make a copy of it and color the copy page hehe … it is like a collection for me, I might be mad if some one purposely ruin every pages, but if it is coloring beautifully it is not that bad…
Yep. :/
Life is what you make it.
We all need to remember that nothing and I mean NOTHING happens to a person who is born again and in the Body of Christ without it first passing through His fingers. Moreover, all that happens to a Child of the King is intended for his growth and spiritual good to make us more like Him. That includes every bad thing happening to you individually and to us as a society and people and country. The worse it gets the less I like it here and the more I look forward to going home. I recently realized that my love for here is growing dim with discouragement and my hope for home with the Lord is growing. So even as bad as it all gets, there is a good outcome. But we need spiritual eyes to see it. Do you have them? That is a first step.....seek the Lord while He may be found.
Yep. Those who endure until the end will be saved. I keep telling myself this scripture over and over and over. I, too, look forward to the day that I get to go home.
Sounds like you are surrounded by all women, I’m sorry. I grew up with 4 sisters (I’m a woman) dad died, grandpa died and my brother was raised by grandma, mom and 5 older sisters. Not easy! Kids need their dad, I’ve been in your shoes in a sense and it always gets better. Pray like you’ve never prayed before. I used to journal to get it out and never go back and read the bad stuff. If it’s possible try to approach your wife when things are not emotionally charged. There was a time I let things build up where I wanted to walk away from my family and die in the desert. Once I started talking about it I was able to work it out but it took time. The hard things in life help us better appreciate the good times and I’ve had so many good times since the era where I didn’t want to be alive that I can’t even count. Don’t forget your 20 yo is not a fully grown adult, her brain won’t be fully developed till 25.
😂
Lots of prayers to you, fren. If you ever feel a danger to yourself or others, check yourself in somewhere. No shame. I too am exhausted by the world and I've spent time inpatient. You seem really down to earth and sensitive in a good way. Hang in there
It is always the darkest before the light! Just hang on for one more year! Just stick around to see what happens next.
suicide is never the solution. this life is temporary, the next is permanent. plus if you leave who will be there for your daughter? give it to God, He tells us He battles for us, not against us, we just have to be able to hand it over to Him. God bless and prayers my fren.
Completely agree. I can't leave her in all of this toxicity with no battle plan for herself. I must continue pushing on for HER. It's just so damn difficult.
my mother is a narcissist, if not for my father being the one to teach us the right way, i'm not sure how us kids would have turned out. all i know is that i try to do everything the opposite of what my mother does and it seems to work. so teach your baby girl the right way and be there for her. it paid off for me in the end.
Law of attraction..........
My fren, I understand exactly how you feel. Each day is a new horror. Many of my friends, family and clients are dying from the effects of the jab. Both of my adult sons are jabbed, only one is boosted, I fear for his health and fertility. I cry every morning for all of humanity. I feel like I staddle two worlds those who see and those who are blind. When I was a young child I remember sitting in 1st grade and thinking to myself, this is NO way to learn, they want us to conform, so when I was given a standardized test, I filled in the bubbles in a pattern thereby flunking the test, then diagnosed with a learning disorder.